I Will Never Forget
by Un-Ended Tales Unravel
Summary: Joone is asked by a friend one night to hide a sorcerer in her attic. The beginning of the purge was the most dangerous of times. Will they make it through alive? Is the sorcerer the only secret Joone is hiding? Why does magic burn her? OC story. Chapter 35: Liberation, Chapter 36: Wake Up, Chapter 37: Would you remember if I asked? Now including teaser for The Old Mother.
1. The Black Feather

**I have been playing around with this chapter for a long time and I was bored so I finally decided to post it.**

**It is from the perspective of some of the sorcerers and the people who helped them during the purge. **

**There will be a younger Uther and a younger Gaius involved in later chapters.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

The black feather

It has been four years, eight months, and three days. The small hourglass that sat by my table counted the seconds. The grains of sand fell like snowflakes. Slow. They piled at the bottom and were a painful reminder to how long it has been since the darkest of the dark days. The memories of the beginning of the purge still play over and over in my head like the songs mama sang to the little ones when they cried.

I still hear the cries. Not the ones of my younger siblings. No, these cries are of fear and pain. The noise would break a hundred hearts and it had. It still does. My heart was one of the hundreds that were shattered and mine is one of the thousands that will never be put back together. Pieces of my heart are gone forever, dead, if you will. Without them I will never heal.

Most people try to look away as Uther gives the order. The same one he gave four years eight months and three days ago. I will never forget what those words brought down upon us because I can never look away. Not anymore.

He destroyed my world before it was made and he did it with confidence. I can never forgive, and I certainly can never forget. It was the worst when the purge first began. People who practiced magic were well known. I knew the face of every person they took away that first week before the sorcerers began to hide.

So many of them were taken. Uther said he was saving the people. Tell that to the weeping people who flocked the streets everyday that year when more and more of their friends and loved ones were taken away. Even the innocent ones like Edith who lived next door to me. Her son had practiced medicine magic. Both of them were taken away that first week.

The first week was the worst because it was the time when no one knew what was happening. The King had made the announcement but not everyone was there to hear it. No one in my little town knew until the soldiers arrived.

Almost half of our town disappeared over the span of a month. There was news that the same thing was happening everywhere else too. I cannot deny that I was one of the weeping people who filled the streets everyday. My eyes dried up and soon I was unable to cry anymore.

My tears may have been gone but my voice was still loud and strong. I yelled and screamed at the soldiers who took young Tad away with them. Tad was what we called him because he loved tadpoles. We used to tease him about it sometimes. He had been obsessed with them. Now I would give anything to hear him make one of his bad Tadpole jokes. They were so bad that we would all be on the ground laughing. I never feel that kind of happiness again.

I hung off one of the arms that were pulling him away. Another girl, Sabia, clung to the other soldier. We weighed them down, giving Tad's mother, Ms. Sabrina, enough time to say goodbye to her son.

Ms. Sabrina was taken away three days later. She went willingly, believing she might see her Tad again. I wonder if she did?

The soldiers who carted them away were not kind to those who resisted the law. I have the bruises to prove it. We all lived in fear of the law. Even the neighbor of a magic user could be taken away for coming into contact with said person.

Silently a small group was made. We were the interceptors. Our job was to get in the soldiers way or delay them some how. Sometimes our work freed one of the sorcerers and would allow them to escape. Sometimes we would only give family just enough time to say goodbye like we did with Tad and his mother.

Our group grew and we would take turns so the soldiers would not think that we were doing it on purpose. If they ever did we would all be taken away like the sorcerers we were trying to protect. That is also against the "oh so perfect law".

The group was made up mostly of children and the grownups didn't even suspect us. They didn't suspect when once a week most of the children would disappear to a secret meeting to discus new ideas. Magnus led us. He was one year older then I, I was 18, and he was the eldest of our group. We would have all worked alone if it weren't for him and we may even have been caught, but he brought us together.

Usually the soldiers would come to our village at least twice a week but one week they fell silent and didn't come. We knew better then to relax with this sudden absence of chaos. Instead we took this time to track down any sorcerers left in our town and secretly help them to hide. Many of them left to try and hide in the forest. I am sad to say that this was the reason many of them were caught as they ran, their guilt obvious to their captors.

We did convince many of them to stay. When I say many I mean only a few people. Their numbers had dwindled since the first wave of the purge two months before. We hid them as well as we could in our town. We only asked those loyal to our group that bore the symbol of the black feather. If they carried our symbol we new they were loyal. A black feather was simple enough that no one thought it strange for someone to carry it in his or her pocket.

I carried the same black feather in the left pocket of my jacket that I usually wore over my dress. I found myself often worming my hand silently into my pocket to stroke the soft feather. The feeling of it against my skin is the feeling of hope. I guess I should have known that hope would not have lasted forever.

Magnus and I were setting up a room in a secret space billow the floorboards of one of our supporter's house to get it ready for one of the sorcerers to move in that week before the soldiers decided to return. We hid the floorboards we had pulled up under a carpet.

Narayan, loyal to our cause and the one whose house this was, thanked us for our work. Over the months we had become used to performing such tasks. A middle-aged man stood behind him, Narendra, I believe it was. He had used magic to make himself stronger so that he could work more easily on his farm not far from our town. Because of the purge he was forced to sell his land so he and his family could go into hiding. He had sent the rest of his family as far away from himself as possible so they may not be taken because of him.

I looked at Narendra with admiration. He had thought of his family over himself. I must admit that if I were in that situation I would have wanted my family with me the whole way but I guess I also wouldn't want them to be put through that. That must have been Narendra's reason for sending them so far away.

Luckily my family did not live in that town so my antics would not get them into trouble. I had come to live here to become apprentice to Lavania and make pots, bowls, and things like that. I liked to work with ceramics. I know how strange it is to think that I had gone there with so simple a goal in my head but to be pulled into this world of deceit. I would not give it up though. If I were not an interceptor I would be sitting in my little house wondering if there was anything I could do. I don't think I would be able to take it. The feeling of helplessness would be overpowering, driving me mad.

Magnus pulled up the floorboards and we helped Narendra inside. We had given him as much food as we could spare with everyone else we had to help. If he needed more Narayan was willing to get it for him.

Our week of silence was short lived. Soon enough the soldiers returned to search for the sorcerers. Their search bore little fruit but fruit it bore. Olwen hadn't told us she used to use magic and we had failed to figure it out. She begged the soldiers to have mercy and that she had only ever used magic once a very long time ago and she would never do it again, but they were def to her pleas.

I looked to Magnus who was already signaling one of our comrades to make their move. Olwen's sister, Fionn, ran to her and tried to pull her away from the soldiers. With this distraction Holt, one of our younger members, placed a hornets' nest carefully behind the soldiers. He was so quick about it that I barely even saw him even though I was looking for him.

One of the soldiers slapped Fionn across the face, causing her to let go of her sister. With this sudden release, the soldiers, still holding Olwen tight, stumbled backwards and right on top of the hornets' nest. The hornets burst forth from their shattered home and attacked the soldiers.

In their surprise they had let go of Olwen who ran back to Fionn. Together they escaped the chaos. They ran round the side of a building where I was waiting for them. At first Olwen thought I was a spy for the king and tried to run in a different direction but Fionn managed to pull her back. I pulled the black feather from my pocket and showed it to Fionn. She did the same.

I beckoned them to follow me. Fionn pulled Olwen along behind her; Olwen still didn't quite understand what was going on. I hurried them back to Narayan's house. He was startled when we came barging through the front door but at the sight of Olwen he immediately lead us to the back room. He moved the carpet slightly and pulled up the floorboards.

Narendra had heard the commotion and had thought the soldiers had found him. His fretting was for nothing when I lowered Olwen down next to him. Realizing what was happening he helped her to solid ground. We were forced to send Fionn down as well. Her distraction may have helped save her sister but it would make her the first suspect. This was the sacrifice many of us interceptors were forced to bare.

As quickly as possible we put the floorboards back into place along with the carpet, then went out the front door as if to see what all the commotion was about outside. The soldiers had somehow managed to drive to hornets away and were looking around confused as to where their prisoner had gone.

Narayan and I blended into the crowd. One of the soldiers yelled in outrage and ordered the others to search the entire town for the girl. It was these times that made us all hold our breaths. There were at least eleven sorcerers still hiding in our town. The group of the black feather all crossed their fingers in prayer that they would not find one of their hiding places.

My heart pounded in my chest as I saw them head into Narayan's house. Narayan himself followed them, as it was his house. The soldiers pushed their way to the backroom. They shoved the crates, which were stacked there, to the ground.

I followed Narayan into his house. I caught my breath when I saw them rip up the carpet. Luckily none of them saw my face, as it would have given it all away. I pulled the scarf that I wore around my head further over my forehead to cover the sweat.

Both of us let out a sigh of relief when they did not notice that some of the floorboards had been moved recently. They pushed past us out of the house. Narayan yelled after them about the crates they had pushed over. He earned a kick to the stomach from one of their leather boots for that. He buckled over and groaned. I knelt down beside him to see if he was ok but I said nothing. I did not want to draw them back again.

The soldiers left our town without another word but I knew they would not be gone for long. Word of the sorcerer's escape would soon make its way back to Camelot. The king would be outraged. I was always scared that with all of the sorcerers from our town that had escaped that the king would suspect us. These were dangerous times. I heard of a town not too far from us had been burnt to the ground for opposing the king.

The report was that there were no survivors but the rumors spread like wild fire between us common folk that some had escaped. It was stories like these that razed our spirits even after such a tragedy.

Unfortunately as the purge continued people started to fall victim to Uther's way of thinking. Magnus and I traveled to a neighboring town to get some supplies for one of the sorcerers we were hiding. While there we watched helpless as a cart rolled by. It carried a cage with a sorcerer inside. Damn bounty hunters. They were more dangerous then the soldiers that usually came and we had not found a way to deal with them.

There was an elderly man inside. He looked weary and tired. He looked so helpless and weak but still people picked up their rotten fruit and hurled it at the old man. I wanted to yell at them to stop but Magnus held me back. "We cannot interfere Red Wing." He whispered my codename in my ear. Every member of the group had one.

"But Blackbird." I protested and tried to pull away from him. With all my efforts I was not able to break free. Soon I gave up and just watched in panic as the cart disappeared from sight.

"We cannot help everyone." He warned. "We must start small. When we build up our forces and increase our numbers we may be able to save more then the people in our own town. Do you understand?" I nodded.

But our numbers would not grow fast enough. Not fast enough to save them all. I should now that more then most.

The night that would thrust me even further into the purges embrace happened four years, five months, and ten days ago. I will never forget that night.

It was raining, I remember. Even though it was late and I was unable to acquire the comfort of sleep. I was sitting at the kitchen table of my small house when fate came knocking. The house I lived in was split into two separate apartments. Lavania lived on the other side of the wall.

The knock came again, more insistent this time. I grabbed my scarf and pulled it over my head before I answered the door. I opened it to reveal Magnus, in one of his dark cloaks, panting hard. The sight of him in such a state was strange until I saw the small figure hiding under the arm of his cloak.

She was shivering with the cloak failing to keep either of them dry. I looked at Magnus questioningly about the girl. He panted, trying to get his breath back. Finally, after taking a few deep breaths he answered my glare.

"They were chasing her." He gasped for air. "We ran here all the way from the next town over." That explained why they looked so tired and why I didn't recognize the girl.

"Please Joone. I didn't know where else to go."

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	2. Aida and the Game

**Got this chapter done faster then I thought I would.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Aida and the game

I hadn't faltered for a moment about what to do but hearing him use my real name showed me just how desperate he was. Without waiting another second I beckoned them inside and sealed my fate.

I helped Magnus remove his cloak and hid it under a floorboard I had discovered was loose a few days earlier. I hid it incase anyone chasing them had seen him wearing it. Once the floorboard was tightly back in its place I took Magnus aside for a word.

"You said we shouldn't interfere in other towns. Our group is too small Magnus. We are too weak." I scorned him. "What were you even doing out there?"

"I was visiting a farm close by to get some food for Fionn and the others." He explained. "I just saw her running. I couldn't help it. I guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." I looked over at the girl still shivering and dripping wet on my carpet. She looked so shaken.

"Or the right place at the right time." I grabbed a blanket that was resting on a chair close by and went to the girl, wrapping it warmly around her. There was something about the young girl that made me want to protect her.

"What's your name?" I asked, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Aida." She spoke only the name.

"And how old are you?" I pushed her for more information about herself. Knowing Magnus he probably hadn't asked her anything and just jumped in, trying to be the hero.

"Thirteen." Again she answered with only one word. She was too young for this life of running and hiding. Magnus stood in the doorway to the kitchen just watching.

"Why were you running?" We had both guessed the reason why but still the questioned had to be asked.

Aida looked at me for a moment, wondering whether or not she could trust me. Then she looked to Magnus who simply nodded.

"They knew about me and what I could do." She sniffed. "They knew about the magic so they came for me. We didn't think they'd find out." She began to cough. I pulled her in closer and let her rest her head on my shoulder as small tears began to roll down her cheeks. The tears made lines in the mood that covered some of her face.

I held her there until shouts came from outside. Magnus went to the window and moved the curtains slightly to see what all the commotion was. His eyes widened at what he saw.

"They know she came this way." He spoke in fear standing frozen at the window. He couldn't move. I was surprised. We had soldiers searching our town before for the sorcerers we had hidden. What about this time made it different from the others? Why did Magnus, our fearless leader, look so frightened?

I moved quickly to his side, pulling him back from the window and replacing the curtains. I held him firmly by his shoulders.

"Magnus." I shook them to get his attention. "What did you do?"

"I…" He tried to avoid my eyes. "Its my fault they're here." What did he mean?

"Magnus, I don't understand." I shook his shoulders again as he tried to look away.

"I wasn't careful enough Joone." He pulled away from me. "They saw me. They know I came this way."

"You were seen?" I gasped. "Did they get a good look at your face?" He turned away, looking again to the window. I came up behind him and grabbed his shoulder, turning him around to face me. "Magnus, answer me."

"Yes!" He yelled, looking straight into my eyes. The look he gave me made me back away. The yells from outside were louder now, getting closer.

"I'm sorry Joone." He almost whispered. "I've ruined everything. They will follow me back to the rest of the group. They will take us all and it's my fault." Tears came to his eyes and he bent his head in shame.

The voices, of what I guessed were soldiers, were getting louder by the second. I recovered from my shock and looked fearfully at the door, any second they could come barging through and find us.

"Magnus get a hold of yourself. That's not going to happen. Did they see you come here?" I asked to be sure. He didn't answer. "Did they see you come to this specific house?" I wanted to yell.

"I don't think so." He looked up. Some hope flickered in his eyes until the shouts of the soldiers came again, louder still.

I looked at Magnus. He seemed too distraught to take charge so I did. I grabbed his arm and pulled him further away from the window, beckoning him silently to follow me. I waved to Aida to do the same.

They both followed me to the tall cabinet that stood near the door. I pulled the large thing away from the wall to reveal a set of stairs going up. I pushed both of them in.

"Take these stairs up to the attic." I explained. "You'll find everything you need there."

"But Joone," Magnus looked back to me. "What about you?"

"I'll keep them away. Don't worry I've had this place ready for weeks just incase." I tried to calm his nerves. "They won't find this place."

I knelt down in front of Aida and placed my hands on her shoulders. "What ever happens, what ever you hear, don't make a sound." She nodded but still looked at me with concern.

"Joone I'm sorry…" Magnus tried but I cut him off.

"We don't have time for that, now go." I pushed them in and started pushing the cabinet back into place. I saw Magnus try to speak again but I put my finger to my lips, silencing him.

I took one last look at Aida. "Not a sound." Then the cabinet was in place and they were gone from my sight. I lent against the large hunk of wood. I may have looked strong in front of them but I was scared as well. I heard them make their way up the stairs, then silence.

That silence was quickly broken when a loud knock came at my door for the second time that day. I made my way slowly towards the door. They pounded on the wood louder so I quickened my step slightly, hoping my actions weren't at all suspicious.

The door creaked open. One of the soldiers looked like he was about to try and break the door down. There were four of them standing there but they weren't panting like Magnus and Aida had been but they did look very angry. They must have ridden here on their horses.

"May we come in?" The tallest of them asked almost politely but impatience coated his words. I closed the door slightly, blocking their path with my body.

"Do you have a reason for entering my house?" I asked trying to sound innocent. The soldier who addressed me huffed at my clear defiance to cooperate.

"We saw a few suspicious people head this way. We are sure one of them is a sorcerer. We want to check to make sure they aren't hiding here." Another soldier explained the facts I already knew.

"A sorcerer?" I faked surprise and added a little fear just to be sure. In answer to their first question I opened the door wider so they could fit through the doorway. Even though I had willingly opened the door they still shoved past me.

They looked around for any signs of Aida or Magnus. I watched fearfully as one of them stepped across the floorboard under which I had hidden Magnus' cloak. If they found it they would immediately know I had helped them, then all hell would break loose and everything would be lost.

It was a dangerous game that we played but still we played on. We kept playing until the end not knowing if we would win or loose but still trying our best. Was our best going to be enough?

The soldiers rampaged my house; breaking a few of the pots I had made only the day before. I tried to hide my fury. I couldn't risk angering them even more then they already were. If it had been only me in the house I would have yelled at them but I had two fugitives hiding in my attic. I kept thinking about them and hoping it would not read on my face when the soldiers glanced my way.

I heard more pots smashing. A whole months work gone. I was almost ready to snap when they came back to the door.

The floorboard that hid the cloak squeaked when one of their boots landed on it. He looked down and my heart stopped. He stepped on it again, hearing its protests. He growled at the noise it made.

"You should fix that." Was all he said and I felt like I was going to die. I wanted to yell for them to get out of my house. I just wanted them away.

Eventually I got my wish. One of them turned back to me just before he left. He eyed me suspiciously. Taking a step so he was standing uncomfortably close. His breath stank as he spoke. "You're lucky we didn't find anything this time peasant." He spat at my feet. Damn noblemen.

By accident I let a look of disgust cross my face. The soldier saw it before I realized what I had done. For that I got a fist to the gut, an awful cracking sound could be heard. I buckled over in pain. All I heard was his laughter as he left my house and slammed the door.

The soldier's blow had been powerful enough to knock the wind right out of me and I'm pretty sure at least one of my ribs was either cracked or broken. I lay on the floor not breathing for what felt like long minutes. I began to panic when the air would not reach my lungs as I begged it to.

Slowly I was able to get short bursts of breath but it wasn't enough. The lack of oxygen was messing with my vision. I was seeing black spots. Blinking didn't clear them away. I gasped but made no sound. The sound of the cabinet moving was the last thing I heard before the black spots covered my entire vision and I was out like a snuffed candle.

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	3. Crackers

**Here's the next chapter. **

**Please read and enjoy.**

Crackers

The first thing I felt when I woke up was a cool hand on my side. I was lying on the creaky wooden floor of my attic. How I had gotten there I could not fathom at that moment in time. My head still span, but I was breathing normally now.

My eyes had completely adjusted to the dark space lit only by a small candle. I would have to remember to get more of those. I followed the cool feeling on my side to a hand resting there. That hand was connected to a thin arm, which was connected to a young girl, smiling sadly.

Aida, the name came flouting back to me. I tried to sit up but was struck by pain in my side. With a gentle hand, Aida pushed me back to the floor. The cool feeling continued until she took her frail hand away. Only then did she finally allow me to lift myself so I was leaning against one of the cold wooden walls. I was surprised. The pain I had felt in my side the first time I had attempted to sit up was gone.

I looked to Aida for an explanation. She spoke no words but simply lifted the hand she had been resting on my side as if that would explain it and it did. Her magic was what caused the pain to cease. Whatever had been broken or bruised was now healed. I felt healthier then I had in a long time. I simply nodded my head in her direction and smiled, giving my silent thanks.

It wasn't until then that I was aware of another presence in the room. He stood in the corner next to a very small window with curtains drawn over it. It was placed in a way that no one would be able to see it from the outside. No one knew I had an attic, except Lavania.

And that is where he stood with a scornful look upon his muscular face. He looked at me as if caught between two emotions, the emotion of joy at seeing me awake or that of anger against being unconscious in the first place. Knowing Magnus I guessed he was going to go with the later. I hate it when I'm right.

"What do you think you were doing?" He barked. I said nothing. "We could hear everything from up here. What made that soldier punch you?" Concern lased his words.

"I may or may not have accidentally given him a dirty look." I said sheepishly, trying to make it sound like it wasn't as bad as it had been. My attempts were unsuccessful.

"You gave him a dirty look?" Oh, no. I knew where this was going. "With that he could have given you a worse punishment. Your lucky he didn't take you off to the stocks."

"I'm sorry, I slipped." I tried to explain. "It was an accident. I didn't mean for it to come out."

"No Joone." His voice rose slightly in anger. Then, without warning he enveloped me in a hug. His voice softened. "No my Red Wing. I'm the one who is sorry. This is my fault." I was so stunned by his embrace that I was speechless.

"I promised you that I would never bring danger to your door. Now look what I've done. You have two fugitives hiding in your attic." He broke from the embrace but still held me by my shoulders. "I wasn't careful enough."

A bit of anger boiled inside of me. "It's not your fault." It came out a little harsher then I had intended. "I signed up for this. I knew going in that this could happen and I was ready. I am not afraid of them Blackbird."

He stared at me and I stared back, trying not to let my mask slip because I was lying. It was true that I knew this was going to happen but that didn't mean I wasn't scared. We were walking a very thin line and who knows what would happen when we finally fell off. I should have known how this story would end.

I broke away from him and went to peer out the small window. No soldiers patrolled the streets that I could see. We were safe, for now. My eyes flouted around the small attic. I had set up a few beds up there. There was some food and a small box of candles. I needed to get something for them to do up here. No one knew how long the two would have to stay hidden up there.

My foot made small tapping noises against the ground. I bit my lip. A shiver ran up my spine. The chill of the night was bighting at my bones.

"I'll go get you some more blankets and candles." And with that I disappeared down the stairs hidden behind the cabinet. I found the cabinet in place and blocking my path, placing my ear up against the wood. There were no sounds that resembled those of the soldier's boots on my floor. No one other then my refugees and myself were moving about the house.

When I concluded that it was safe I pushed on the wood, opening it just enough so I could slip out. I went to my own small room and took a few of the blankets I had folded and stacked in one of the corners. The search for the candles took me all around my small home and back to my bedroom. Kneeling down on the floor, I peered under my bed and spotted three boxes.

One of the boxes was quite large, the next was about a third of the other's size, and the last was very small. My fingers found the medium sized one first. I knew that the largest box was actually empty, and the smaller box; well that was a mystery even to me at the time.

I removed the lid of the box I had pulled out from its space bellow the bed. Inside I found what I had been looking for. Candles.

Candles in hand I scampered back to the cabinet and squeezed back through the space between the cabinet and the wall. I pulled the cabinet, as well as I could from this side, back into place.

I spotted a light coming from the top of the stairs. It was dim but brighter then the candle that they had lit before I had left to find more. Quietly I made my way back up the stairs.

Magnus was sitting on one of the cots I had pulled out. His head rested against the wall and his eyes were closed. He didn't look like he was asleep, more like he was listening to something. Soon I heard it too, the crackle of a fire.

Aida was sitting on another cot but her eyes were not closed. Instead she was staring deeply at something she had cupped in her hands. I looked closer and saw a tiny flame floating just a few inches above her palm.

It was beautiful magic. I had been working to protect sorcerers but I cannot say that I have seen them perform any of their magic. I may have seen the art when I was a young child but those memories are lost to me now. You would never expect to see magic in those dark days. The danger it had brought to the wielder made it too dangerous for them to share their talent. But in this attic, where no evil eyes could see, magic was safe. At least small magic was.

The small flame danced in Aida's eyes. Her head rose slowly and finally spotted me standing at the top of the stairs. All she did was smile. Aida had not spoken a word since I had sent both her and Magnus up here to hide. Her smile was half hearted.

Even though the flame gave off light and danced so eagerly in her hands, it still did little to warm the cold attic. Remembering the objects in my arms, I through one of the folded blankets at Magnus' face, startling him. Aida giggled.

I walked over to the small crate that sat in between their two cots where the other candle stood, still burning and placed the box of candles I had found beside it. The other candle was dying and didn't give off much light so I took out another. I lit it using the already burning flame of the other candle. It wasn't much but it would have to do.

Aida was so transfixed by the glow coming from her hands that she did not notice me coming up beside her. She still wore the blanket I had given her earlier to dry her off. It was still wet so I gently removed it from her small shoulders. She was not startled by my touch but only continued to stare into the endless colours that danced before her. I replaced that blanket with the dry one I had carried from downstairs.

Now that we were safe I finally got a good look at the girl I was risking my life to protect. She was very thin, as if she hadn't eaten for days, and her skin was an unhealthy kind of pale. She had long ginger hair that fell half way down her back. The fire in her hand was starting to go out as her eyes fluttered. Poor thing. How long had she been running?

Again I noticed how thin she was. I wanted to slap myself. How could I have missed it? Food. I quickly moved to lift one of the floorboards. Underneath was an assortment of food that kept for a long time. There was enough there to last one person for a week, but seeing that I had two guests I might have to go shopping sooner then I originally thought.

A medium sized tin slipped into my hand and I lifted it from its hiding place. Beneath the lid were crackers. I know it wasn't a meal but it would have to do for now. The tin clanged slightly as I placed it in front of Aida who was still transfixed by the fire in her hands.

I through one of the crackers at Magnus, but it didn't hit him this time. One of his hands flew up and caught it before it crashed into his face. I found myself feeling slightly disappointed but not surprised. Magnus had been a sword smith for a while and had been trained how to fight. His reflexes were amazing. So far only one person was ever able to surprise him. Recently though he had become more of a locksmith. He became fascinated with them when I had shown him how to pick the lock on the cage to a sorcerer.

Magnus' quick movements caught Aida's eye and she finally looked up, the fire dying in her hand. She looked hungrily at the cracker he was flipping over in his fingers. Then she noticed the tin sitting at her feet. She looked at me asking the silent question.

"Go on." I smiled. No sooner had I said did this young predator descend upon the unsuspecting crackers. Within ten minutes the tin was empty. Magnus was still flipping the same cracker in his fingers. He laughed at the sight of Aida devouring the crackers. I couldn't help but join in.

Aida's eyes were beginning to close again. Magnus got up and gently laid the girl on one of the cots. She was asleep within seconds. The sight of her chest rising and falling rhythmically made me yawn. Aida wasn't the only one who was tired. My head tilted forward but I jerked it back, trying to stay awake.

"You should get some sleep." Magnus stated beside me.

"So should you." I retorted.

He lifted his hands in defeat, smiling and lying down in his own cot. I knelt down and pulled the sheets up over Aida a little more. My feet glided silently across the wooden floor, kneeling down and blowing out each candle. The room fell into darkness.

I stood there in the dark for a moment until my eyes became adjusted to the darkness. As quietly as I could I made my way down the stairs and slipped back out into the main part of the house. The cabinet scraped across the floor as I pushed it into place.

Once I was done I took a step back to look at the cabinet. The sight of it moving would become so familiar. It looked so ordinary but it hid our greatest secret.

**Thank you for reading and please REVIEW! So that I can morph this story into one that you would enjoy.**

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**What do you think will happen? Do you think they will be able to hide all of their secrets?  
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**As you well know, nothing lasts forever.  
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	4. Things to think about

**Here is the next chapter. **

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Things to think about

The next day was mostly spent getting supplies for the refugees in my attic. I fidgeted with the scarf around my head as I waited in line to pay for the bred I cradled in my arms. It was freshly baked and still warm. I wanted to get it back to my house that way. They needed something fresh and warm in their stomachs.

The attic wasn't exactly the warmest place to live. We couldn't risk anything more then a few candles and Aida was afraid to use her magic. I don't blame her. With this purge going on it seems dangerous to do anything anymore. Even those who weren't apart of the Black Feather organization were afraid. Some were afraid of the magic and others were scared that they would be falsely accused.

I think back to Aida's family. Do they miss her right now? Are they worried? Perhaps they think she has already been captured. My heart skips a beat. What if her family was taken for trying to protect her? I hoped to the high heavens that it wasn't true. But we may never know.

I absent-mindedly handed the man my money for the bread and hurried back to my house. I tried to look as normal as possible. It felt like my every move was being watched and critiqued. Undercover spies could be anywhere, always watching.

I don't think I will ever be able to relax again. I clumsily fitted my key into the lock and was about to turn it when I felt a small hand tug on my arm. I jumped and almost lost my grip on the bred. Turning around my eyes fell on the small shape of Holt. I sighed with relief. He was one of us.

"Morning Joone." He said cheerily but it was laced with curiosity, as was the voice of every child. "You ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. You just startled me." I smiled down at him. He was fidgeting with something in his pocket, probably his feather. He looked like he was trying to make a decision. "Holt, is something wrong?"

"It's nothing, but have you seen Magnus?" He looked up at me. Holt really looked up to Magnus and was always trying to be like him. In some ways that was good but I still worried. There were more ways for that to go in a bad direction. The fact that he was hiding in my attic was a pretty big example.

"Joone?" He tilted his head. Should I tell him? He was apart of the organization, but I haven't told any of the others about what happened last night. Should I? He was only a kid and he was already more involved then he should be.

I bit my lip. "I haven't see him since yesterday. It's still early in the morning he might still be asleep knowing him." Holt laughed, buying my lie. I felt bad about it but it was for his protection.

"Tell me if you see him." He finished and walked away. I envied him. It had only been one night but the secret was already weighing down heavily on me. I turned the key in the lock and stepped into my seemingly empty house.

As soon as the door was closed and locked behind me and I was sure all the blinds were closed so no one could see, I pulled against the cabinet that stood against the wall. Slowly the wood dragged across the wooden floor, cutting into it a little more. Eventually I managed to get it far enough away from the wall to squeeze through.

I let out my breath when I stumbled through to the other side and onto the hidden stairs. When the cabinet was back in place I padded up the stairs.

I found Aida still wrapped up in her blankets and fast asleep on the cot. She had barely slept the night before. I smiled down at her. It was good that she was finally getting some sleep. She needed it.

Magnus, however, was wide awake and fiddling his thumbs. I should have known he wouldn't like being copped up in here. He was the leader of the Black Feather. He wouldn't be if he liked sitting still and watching others do the dirty work. This must be killing him.

His eyes shot up towards me. There were dark circles around them. Silently I tore the bread I had bought in half and lightly through one towards him without a word. I wouldn't know what to say to him. Sorry but you might have to stay here in my cold attic forever. Not likely.

There had to be another way. Something I could do. Something he could do really.

I watched as he slowly pick away at the bread. "Thank you." He said and lowered his eyes. He was too hard on himself, I thought. There was nothing wrong with having a kind heart. Anyone else would have just let Aida keep running but not Magnus. He wasn't like that.

It made me happy that he chose to come to me with this. In many ways it was an honor. It meant he trusted me enough with his own life. Magnus wasn't someone to give away his trust easily.

Without taking my eyes off of his slumped form, I took the bread to Aida next. I laid it down nicely beside her. If I had my way I would let her sleep, but I wanted something warm in her thin belly so I gently shook her away. Her eyes flickered and slowly opened. Her mouth opened wide as she yawned, rubbing her eyes with a dirty sleeve. I would have to get her some better cloths or at least some clean ones.

"I brought you something to eat." I explained.

Her eyes lit up at the sight of the bread. They got even brighter when she took the first bight and it went down warmly.

"Thank you ever so much miss." She managed to get out in between bites.

"Please call me Joone." I insisted and patted her shoulder.

The mud from the night before had dried in her ginger hair. Now that it was dry it was beginning to curl. Part of me wished my hair was like that. It was the kind of hair that you could show off and experiment with to see what would work best. I tugged on the scarf over my head. If only.

I shook my head, not wanting to seem as if I was hiding anything. I wasn't really, except for them of course. They were my biggest secret and one I would not give up without a fight. I had only known Aida for less then a day and I already cared for her.

I took a step back and took a moment to think about our situation. There were things we were putting off that needed to be dealt with. Most of it involved the Black Feather. Magnus was Blackbird. He was our leader and couldn't just disappear without an explanation. Should we tell the group what happened or keep it hushed.

I couldn't decide all of this on my own. I needed to talk to Magnus, alone. So I waited.

I went back to the attic after dark, when I was sure Aida would be asleep. Maybe Magnus was expecting me because I found him sitting against one of the walls, awake in the dark. He was tapping one of his knees with his middle finger. I only ever saw him do that when he was thinking, intently.

I stood there in front of him for a moment, waiting for him to notice. I started to tap my foot against the wood floor impatiently.

"What are we going to do?" He broke the silence.

"About the Black Feather?" I inquired.

"About everything." He gestured to Aida.

This was one thing we had always been worried about. Hiding the sorcerers in our own homes was a short-term solution. They couldn't stay there forever. It would be as bad as keeping them in a cage. I couldn't imagine young Aida having to stay cooped up there in the attic for all her days. I just couldn't see it.

"What are we going to tell the others about your disappearance? Some of them are already starting to look for you." I lent against the wall next to him. "The truth?"

"No." Magnus shook his head vigorously. "They can't know about this."

"Then what should I tell them?" I persisted. "It will be better to tell them a lie then nothing at all."

"I don't know." He bent his head.

"Then think about this: we can't keep the sorcerers in our houses forever. This is not freedom for them. We have to get them out." I explained.

A look came over Magnus' face. I knew that look. He had an idea.

"What? What is it?" I lent forward.

"Tell them that I have gone away." He started. "I am following a lead on a long-term solution to free our friends."

Yes, that could work. If only we actually were getting close to a long-term solution. I bit my lip as I thought.

"So I tell them that lie while you are hiding up here." It came out harsher then I had meant.

He looked hurt for a moment. Then his features softened. "It won't be a lie. I just need to sneak out of town, if you'll help me."

I was surprised. "Do you have an idea about how to free our friends?"

"I met a few sorcerers who successfully made their way to the woods and are living there." He explained. "I could go talk to them about helping us get the rest of them out."

"Yes, I guess that would work." My mind was spinning. It was a good idea but… It was hard to admit that I didn't want to see Magnus go. I had grown quite attached to him and I wanted to protect him as much as Aida, even though he was older then me.

"How long will it take to make the preparations to get me out?" Usually it was I who asked these questions so it was strange to hear him ask. I guess now that he was locked up here I know had to do the legwork.

"A few days at most." I tapped my temple in thought. "It will have to be a day when we know everyone, including any soldiers, is looking the other way."

I tapped my foot. Then I stopped abruptly. Oh. Yes that would do quite nicely.

"In three days time there is going to be a small production by a traveling group. It's all hushed up until the day so it can be a surprise. They thought it would be good to lighten everyone's spirits." I spoke up. I was actually one of the ones organizing it so it was sort of perfect.

"Everyone will be there and no one will see me leave." Magnus nodded his approval.

"Everyone except me." I added. He looked confused. "You are not going without saying goodbye and that was not a request."

He looked like he wanted to say something but shut his mouth when he saw how determined I was. He smiled.

Without another word I left to go and make the preparations for Magnus' escape. I would have to do it all on my own.

So I better get started.

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**Will their plans succeed? **

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	5. Promise

**Sorry this one is a little short but I still hope it is to your liking.**

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Promise

The crowd laughed as the actor pretended to trip over his own feet, almost toppling off the side of the stage. Even I found a smile wriggle onto my face for just a moment. I wanted to laugh like everyone else and forget what was going on but unfortunately I didn't have that luxury. After all I was directly involved now. I had been involved before but now I was closer then ever to the danger, the danger of being found.

I must admit that part of it was rather exiting. My heart pounded in my chest as I stood at the back of the crowd, waiting for the perfect moment.

The moment came when the first act ended and everyone was given five minutes to mingle and talk. I managed to slip away. No one would even notice I had gone. I needed to get back to the house and grab a few things. Magnus was waiting for me near the edge of town where I hid him before the performance started.

I unlocked the door to my house quickly and slipped inside. There was a bag of provisions on the table that I needed to grab. My hand rapped around of the straps when I heard it, the sound of wood scraping against wood. I spun around expecting the worst. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack when I found Aida standing in the doorway.

"Aida, don't do that." I placed my hand over my heart to try and slow it's beating. "You scared me half to death."

"Sorry." She said absent-mindedly.

"Aida what's wrong?" I noticed how distressed she looked.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" She looked up at me and I saw small bits of anger and hurt in her eyes.

"Tell you what?" I asked.

"That Magnus is leaving." She explained. "I heard you both talking the other night. You could have told me."

"We didn't want to worry you." I tried to justify our actions.

"I'm not fragile. I can take care of myself." She exclaimed.

"I'm sorry Aida." I put the bag down and knelt before her, wrapping her in my arms. I could see how much this bothered her.

"I don't want him to leave without saying goodbye." She cried.

"We should have told you." I realized. "I'm sorry."

"What if I never see him again?" She laid her head on my shoulder.

"You will." I said, rubbing her back to try and calm her. "He isn't going to be gone forever. He will come back. Come on you're going to say goodbye to him before he leaves." I stood up and took her hand in mine. I slung the bag of provisions over my shoulder.

I grabbed one of my old cloaks from the trunk in my bedroom and draped it over Aida's shoulders. The hood should cover her face well enough. Then I flipped my own hood up over my head.

My eyes scanned the street, checking to make sure no one was looking. The second act should have started by now. Everyone's attention would be drawn to the actors. I let out a sigh of relief when I found not a soul in sight. So as quickly as we could, Aida and I ran to the edge of town where Magnus was waiting.

I hid him before the performance started when everyone was just starting to arrive. It was difficult and we couldn't carry anything with us or we would look suspicious. Good thing no one was looking now because we definitely looked suspicious running through the streets all cloaked and in a hurry.

There is an old abandoned shed near the edge of town. I knocked on the door. There was no answer. Right, I didn't knock correctly. I tried again, this time using a special rhythm. We waited for a moment. Silence.

"Oh come on Magnus. It's Joone." I said, annoyed. "Stop being such a drama queen."

That got his attention as the door flew open. There was frustration written all over his face. It made me want to laugh but I couldn't.

"I brought your provisions." I said tossing him the bag.

"Thanks." He calmed down, catching the bag with one hand.

That's when he noticed the small, cloaked figure beside me. Meeting his gaze, Aida removed her hood. Magnus looked surprised for a moment and then relieved. To be honest I though he would be angry with me for brining her here. The situation was dangerous to begin with but now it was even more so.

Without a word, Aida ran forward, wrapping her arms tightly around Magnus' waste. He smiled down at the young girl. I was surprised to see tears forming in his eyes. He had only known Aida for less then a week. She seemed to have that effect on people.

Aida was powerful in her own way. She made people care. But was it a gift or a curse? Only time could tell.

"I'll miss you." She cried.

"And I you." Magnus stroked her hair. "Don't cry. I will come back."

"Promise?" She wiped her eyes.

"Promise." He smiled. "I will find a way for you to be free."

"Ok." They broke away.

Magnus got to his feet and looked at me. We stayed that way for a moment. He was the one to look away first.

"I guess this is it." He almost whispered.

"It doesn't have to be." I took a step towards him. "It's not forever."

"It feels like it will be." He admitted. "I don't want to leave."

"You have to." I said. "Only you can find a way to save them."

"Always trying to boost my confidence." He laughed slightly. "Just like old times."

"That's my job isn't it?" I smiled. "Even the mighty need support."

"Oh Joone." He met my eyes again. "What would I do without you?"

"I don't know." Something lifted in my heart.

"You'll be here when I come back?" He asked.

"We'll be waiting for you." I said 'we' when I really wanted to say I. "Always."

"I guess I should get going." He stepped away. "The performance will be finished soon."

I could hear Aida tapping her foot on the ground as if she was waiting for something. What could she possibly be waiting for?

"Goodbye." Was all I said even though I knew there must be something more I could say. The one word didn't seem to be enough for this.

"I'll be seeing you." He turned and started to walk away.

It didn't seem right, watching him leave like that. I could feel it in the back of my mind. There was something I had forgotten. Something I had forgotten to do.

We watched him walk towards the edge of the forest. Any moment now he would disappear into it's shadows. I kept watching, hoping he would look back. I wanted him to look back, even just for a second but he didn't. I wanted to see his face one last time.

Oh I couldn't take it. Leaving Aida standing by the old shed, I sprinted toward the retreating figure. I had to hold up my dress so I wouldn't trip over it as I ran. The scarf around my head almost fell off but I pulled it back on before it had a chance to blow away.

Magnus must have heard me coming because he started to turn around. Before he had made a full rotation, I through myself into his arms. He was surprised for a moment but I felt him hug me back.

"I couldn't let you leave without a hug." I explained.

"Thank you." He whispered in my ear.

He pulled away slightly. Then I felt him press his lips against mine. Now it was my turn to be surprised but I didn't pull away.

"And I couldn't leave without doing that." He said. "Something to remember me by."

"I could never forget you Magnus." I stepped away. I said it and I knew it was true. Magnus wasn't the type of person you can forget.

"I'll see you again Redwing." He spoke my cover name.

"I know you will Blackbird." The Black Feather organization would be very different without him but we would manage. "Now go so that you can come back."

He smiled at me. Without another word, because there was nothing more that needed to be said, he made the rest of the way to the forest. Aida came up next to me. There wasn't anything missing from that moment now. I still felt sad that he was going and I wished more then ever that he wasn't.

He looked back once before disappearing into the trees. I would never forget the look in his eyes, the image of his 19-year-old face. I will never forget. All the times we shared together and all the times we wouldn't.

He promised he would come back. I watched him disappear.

Would I ever see him again?

**Ok I will admit that was way too cheesy. The next one will be less so I hope.**

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**What does Joone mean by she will never see him again? The plot thickens.**


	6. Two years later

**Here is the next chapter.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Two years later

Two years. The time had passed so quickly. It had been two years since the beginning of the purge and a little less since Magnus left.

I stand here staring out the window and looking over the hills. There is a cloth in my hand and I am cleaning something over a basin of water but I have forgotten what it was. The cloth hangs limply from my grasp and my other hand moves across the surface of the warm water, slowly cooling.

A wind blows through the trees that I see out of my window. What would it feel like to have it run through my hair? To have it lift it up and wave it softly, to have my hair be wild and out of control? The grass ripples under the force of the wind. It is so green this time of year. Healthy.

Figures move across the hills that I see. Their dark shapes look odd against the bright colours of nature. They are walking on the path that leads to our town. Probably coming from Ealdore, which is not too far from here. Friends, perhaps, of someone living here.

Our town doesn't get many visitors these days. We have dwindled in numbers. Many people have left and moved somewhere else. The sight of the empty chair next to them at the dinner table is too painful for them. There isn't one person here who can say they haven't lost someone. If you didn't know the truth you would think a war was going on and that was why so many people were never coming home. In some ways that was true. It just isn't the kind of war you're thinking of.

We are loosing. Some would say we are fighting on the wrong side. I do admit that we are the loosing side but I would never say that it was wrong. If I had to do it all again I would still be standing here staring out the window thinking of the same things and washing something I can't remember.

So many have gone. Why haven't I? Then the sound of feet padding above my head reminds me of my purpose. If it weren't for her I would have given up by now and gone back home to my family. She has kept me strong through these hard times. I can always count on her sweet smile to lift my spirits. She made me care.

A leaf floats through the air and hits the window, sticking there for a moment before the wind pushes it away again. No one who comes here ever stays long. They visit. They say hello. They give their condolences and then they are gone with the wind, like nomads.

But I don't want their pity. They think a few of their carefully chosen words will make everything better but it does nothing for my mourning heart. I still feel the pain of watching them go. The sting the soldiers caused when they dragged them away.

They were the ones I couldn't save. Friends I would never see again. Hearts have hardened. We do not hate magic because it is evil. No. We hate it because of the sorrow it has caused us. The grief we feel when we walk through the empty streets, which used to be packed with people. There used to be strangers here but now I know the names of everyone who walks by me.

I know them all now and I miss the times when I didn't. I don't want to be close with the people who live on the other side of town. I want to wonder who they are and what they're like from afar but I can't do that. I can't wonder anymore. Don't you miss the times when you could ask your friend who that was? I can't do that anymore because there are no new people and that friend I used to ask is gone.

The Black Feather Organization has spread though. Since so many of our members have left, wherever they have gone they have recruited and continued our work. Only a few have remained.

I told them that Magnus had left to find help. We had to decide on a new leader to stand in his place. We went without one until a few weeks ago when I put Holt's name forward. Everyone agreed immediately. He had been the most devoted out of all of us, always coming up with new ideas and strategies. He had in a way already been our leader after Magnus left. Now it was official.

Originally they had asked me to take the post because I had been Magnus' first mate, if you will. But I declined. I didn't tell anyone about Aida or the truth of what had happened. After Magnus left I decided that that was enough for me. I had a sorcerer living under my roof and she was the one I needed to think about the most and protect.

That didn't stop Holt from coming to me for advice once in a while. He used to come all the time but he has built up experience now so he comes less, but he still comes. He comes when he needs a favor. A favor he can only trust me with. What was it about me that made people trust me?

Holt had trusted me with renaming him. Originally he had been Tail Feather but he wanted to change it now that he was officially leader. It didn't take me long to come up with something.

"Crow." I told him the next day. "We'll call you Crow."

He smiled at the name, accepting it. He was fourteen when Magnus left and immature. I had liked that about him. He reminded me that we could still act childish in this time of darkness.

But that had been two years ago. He didn't smile like that anymore. This plague of a law has forced him to grow up and take responsibility. I miss the old Holt. He made me laugh once when I went over to his house to see his mother. I didn't find her but I did find a young Holt trying on his mother's dress. Now that was a sight to lift the heart.

I can't imagine Holt doing anything like that now. Though once in a while he would still tell some of his old jokes. Within a few seconds we would be on the ground clutching our stomachs, bursting with laughter. He never told any new jokes though, only the old ones. Maybe that was his way of holding onto the past.

No one knows what's going to happen. No one knows when this purge will end, or if it will end. Does Uther plan to keep going until he has destroyed his entire kingdom? In some ways he has already destroyed us.

I feel dead inside and the sight outside the window no longer pulls me to it. I can no longer imagine myself running through the hills smiling and laughing. There was no one for me to run and laugh with anyway. Not anymore.

I try to remember the times when I dreamed of my bright future. I can't see it anymore, my dream. What did I want to do with my life again? Whatever it had been was lost now. The future was limited.

Uther used to be a good king who looked out for his people and tried to protect them, all of them. Now he sits on his thrown and passes laws that make us lock up extra tight at night. Does he see what he has become, what he has done to us? I try to understand the grief that pushed him into this decision, but no matter how much I try I don't understand and I never will.

What will it be like years from now when no one remembers why he is doing this anymore? Fear will be pounded into their hearts, fear of the magic that once protected them, and they won't remember why. If I asked them why they hated magic so much their answer would only be that it was evil, but why?

The water is cold now and there is no hope of washing whatever has sunk to the bottom of the basin. My hand still floats across the top, as I am lost in thought. The sun is going down in the sky. The travelers who had made their way over the hills were now sitting at a table somewhere eating their dinner.

Everyday I wonder what the next will bring. I wonder about the future and what it holds for us, the ones who break the law. When we first start out we don't think about the outcomes. We don't think about how long we will have to play this charade. Aida has been living in my attic for pretty much two years now. How long will she have to live up there?

She doesn't always stay up there. Sometimes we risk it and go outside. I keep telling myself that soon the soldiers will forget all about her and she won't have to stay up there anymore. But I am afraid, afraid that they haven't forgotten and they are still looking for her. I am taking a risk letting her live in my attic but I won't take that risk. I worry. I worry like a mother does for her child.

When I first joined the Black Feather I never imagined this, but I can't imagine not knowing Aida now. I have grown attached to the young girl. She's fifteen now and is going into the rebellious stage of her life, the one I still seem to be in. I am surprised she hasn't snuck out of the house yet. Or maybe she is so good now that I don't even notice when she leaves and she comes back before I go in to check on her.

So much has happened over these past two years and I can't recount it all. I hear wood scraping against wood and my eyes finally snap away from the glass. I put the cloth down and turn around, knowing whom I will find.

She smiles up at me. She's tall but I'm taller. Then her smile stops when she sees the tub of now cold water behind me.

"You did it again." She accuses. "Dreaming of the past isn't going to turn back time."

I was shocked. How could she have known? But this was Aida and not much ever got past her. I lowered my head slightly in shame. I have tried to stop thinking back. I have tried to let it go, but I just can't.

"You keep doing that and the dishes will never get cleaned." She comments.

Dishes. I look back at the water. Sitting at the bottom are a few plates and a cup. So that's what I had been washing.

"Sorry." I apologized. "Well at least they have soaked long enough."

"Well there is no time to finish cleaning them now." She smiles.

"And why is that?" I asked.

"The party of course or have you already forgotten." She scorns.

No I hadn't forgotten about the party. We had been planning it the whole week after all. Aida made sure I didn't forget.

"Come one." Aida wined. "We have to go or we'll be late and that's just rude."

Aida pulled on my arm, dragging me towards the door. I only had just enough time to grab our cloaks before we were out the front door and off to the party.

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	7. If things had been different

**I really enjoyed writing his chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it.**

**Disclaimer (since I haven't done one yet): I don't own Merlin, I only own my OCs.  
**

**The title was inspired by a conversation I had with readernurse.**

**Enjoy!  
**

If things had been different

It was dark. Dark like the night he left, dark like the shadows, the ones that swallowed him up forever. It has been two years but still, as Aida drags me down the empty street, I think back. Aida keeps telling me not to I know, but I can't get the images out of my head and the sickly feeling that soon they will be all I have.

I know I should be happy. We are going to a party after all. Party where old friends come together again. I don't get out as much as I used to. But in the near future I would be thrust back into the spotlight and I wouldn't be ready for my final performance.

I stumbled through the dark after Aida until we came to a very familiar looking house. Two years ago three new lodgers came to stay here and as far as I knew they were still here. I knocked on the door several times, hoping to get the attention of the man on the other side. I am sad to say he was slowing loosing his hearing. No response. I knocked again. Still nothing. I was afraid to knock any louder for fear of waking anyone else in the vicinity.

I tried one last time. Finally there was movement on the other side of the door. Someone slowly turned the handle and opened it. The middle aged man stared out at us quizzically. We stood there in silence for a long moment. He squinted trying to see under our hoods.

I wanted to smack myself, our hoods of course. I removed my hood but stopped Aida from doing the same. Once the hood had fallen over my shoulders the man smiled, his eyes crinkling.

"Well it's about time." He laughed. "We were almost about to start without you."

I knew he didn't mean it but I laughed all the same. He waved us inside. The house was almost pitch black but that wasn't where we were going. He guided us to the back room and removed the carpet covering the floor. Underneath was a familiar trap door. I knelt down, grabbing the ring, and pulled it open. Light burst from the room hidden underneath the floorboards.

I helped Aida down and gestured for the man to go ahead of me. I could hear shouts of joy coming from down there. It lifted my heart. I jumped down, closing the trap door above me.

"Joone!" A girl cried, throwing herself into my arms. She was short and her feet hung just inches above the ground.

"Olwen!" I cried with joy, slowly setting her down. She had grown that was for sure. Her hay-coloured hair had gotten longer and she now wore it in a braid that fell half way down her back.

As soon as she had stepped away Narendra picked me up in a great big bear hug. Even though he had been living down here for two years he hadn't lost any of his strength.

"Nice to see you too." I wheezed. He set me down. A large grin stuck to his face.

"Your just in time for the party. Narayan was right to wait up there for you." His voice was gruff but soothing in a way.

"The birthday girl was starting to get impatient." Olwen commented.

"I was not." Fionn stepped forward, arms crossed. Olwen and Narendra laughed. I couldn't help but join in and I could see Aida shaking with laughter.

Aida had met them over a year ago when Narayan's basement flooded and they had to come and stay up in my attic. I told them that they were welcome to stay there but they had grown fond of the weaver's basement.

"Happy birthday!" Aida shouted, giving her friend a hug.

"What is that, 16 now?" I rapped my arms around both of them.

"Yep." She said proudly, pulling away.

"Well this does call for a celebration." I pulled a small package from a pouch tied at my waste and handed it to her. Aida watched over her shoulder expectantly.

We didn't have enough money to all get her a gift so we pitched in and got her one from all of us. We all waited for her reaction as she shook the package lightly, trying to figure out what it was. Eventually she gave up and undid the strings that held together the wrapping at the top. The cloth I had wrapped it in fell away to reveal a small brown box. Fionn opened it gingerly; peering inside, then shut it quickly. Her cheeks flushed and a wide grin spread across her face.

"You shouldn't have." Small tears came to her eyes. She opened the box again and pulled out what was inside. It hung loosely on a bronze chain, the locket swinging back and forth.

Aida gently took the locket from her hands and made a circular movement with her finger, motioning for Fionn to turn around. She did, lifting up her hair. Aida placed the thin chain around her neck, securing it at the back. Fionn let her hair drop over the chain at the back and turned to face us.

"How do I look?" She asked.

"You look beautiful." Narendra confirmed. The rest of us nodded in agreement.

"Open it." I urged her.

Carefully, she opened the locket. The smile on her face grew wider and a tear fell from her left eye, rolling joyfully down her rosy cheek.

"Oh wow." She murmured.

"Keep that close to your heart and we will always be with you." I explained. Fionn had been stuck down here for two years after saving her sister from soldiers. She gave up everything for Olwen and she has never complained. A far as we were concerned she was worth every penny that locket cost and more.

At first the locket would appear empty but at a closer look you can make out seven tiny initials engraved on the inside, including Fionn's. There was Narendra, Olwen, Narayan, Aida, me and…

A knocking came from the trap door above my head. Everyone froze, falling into utter silence. It was so quiet for a second I thought I could hear all of our hearts beating with fear. Fionn clutched the locket close to her heart in hopes to muffle the sound.

Narendra picked up a piece of steal propped up in the corner, ready for anyone who dared to come down. The knocking came again. My heart almost stopped beating. I looked to Aida who was staring wide eyed at the closed trap door. Everyone down in the basement understood the meaning of fear all too well. We felt it everyday and there was no getting used to it. We had lived on edge for the past two years.

The knocking came one more time but this time it was different. The rhythm was irregular and unmistakable. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I took the piece of steal from Narendra and climbed up to the door in the floor. Slowly I creaked it open.

As quick as a flash I grabbed whoever it was and pulled him in. He would have fallen to the floor quite painfully if I hadn't still been holding onto his sleeve. He wasn't wearing any hood or disguise. His scruffy russet hair stood out in the candlelight.

"Hello." He waved nervously.

"Holt!" Fionn yelled. Olwen looked like she was about to pass out. Narayan clutched his heart as if he might be having a heart attack.

Aida of course was the first to make a move towards the unexpected teenager. She grabbed him from my grasp and pushed him into a chair. He began to sweat under the heat of our glares. He tried to laugh it off but we didn't budge. I swear I wanted to kill him.

"I thought you weren't supposed to arrive back in town for another few days." Fionn stepped forward, beginning the interrogation. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you." He explained.

"Well you certainly did." Aida joked.

"You couldn't at least of told one of us that you were coming so you don't scare us all half to death." I pulled him up from the chair and rapped him in a hug, breaking the tension in the room. I felt him relax into my embrace. None of us had seen him for a week because he was away doing some work for the organization. To be honest I missed him.

I let him go and was soon replaced by Fionn when she threw her arms around his neck. "I'm glad you came." She whispered into his shoulder. Holt looked rather surprised at her display of emotions but returned her hug. From where I was standing I could tell no one had noticed but I had. I noticed when Holt's cheeks took on a bright pink. It faded before anyone else could see.

The others welcomed Holt to the party. Aida greeted him by punching him in the arm. He rubbed it and glared at her. She only smiled back.

Aida had known Holt for a little less then a year now. He was taking on more and more responsibilities in the organization after Magnus left. I guess that was the point when I first saw the leader in him. If he was going to be leader then he needed to know.

I introduced him to Aida and they have gotten to know each other. Holt now considers Aida to be like his little sister even though she's only a year younger and tries to act older. I see her sometimes slip back into the way she used to be two years ago. She had been so frail and innocent. She has held onto her innocence as much as she could but she is stronger now. It makes me proud.

Then Narayan brought out the hot stew. It was filled with meat and vegetables. It was a real feast, warming us all physically and emotionally. We laughed and told stories around the table.

Some of the candles were going out so I went to replace them. When I looked back I couldn't help but stop and stare. They looked so happy. I wished I could freeze this moment and make it last forever. If Uther had never passed that law then we wouldn't be here in this moment. We might have passed each other in the streets but we would not draw each other's gaze. We would pass like shadows, shadows of a future that never should have been.

If that one fact about the past were changed our whole lives would be different. Right now, as I stood here watching them almost die of laughter, I couldn't imagine not recognizing one of their faces. I couldn't dream of a world where I had never come to know these wonderful people.

When moments like these happen I become stuck. Usually I would give anything to turn back time and stop this purge before it had begun but then today would have never happened. We would not be able to cherish these moments, as we do know. We would no understand how short and fleeting they are.

If it had never happened then Aida wouldn't have just fallen off her chair from laughter. If it had never happened then Holt wouldn't be choking on his stew because Olwen made him laugh. If it had never happened then I would not be standing here, watching.

The laughter died down a bit and Narendra brought out a lute he had found down here when he first moved in. He didn't know how to play then but he has had a lot of time to practice. His fingers brush across the strings and a beautiful melody echoes around the small space. Then he begins to hum. It is low and rhythmic. Holt joins in, harmonizing, and then Narayan.

The song is familiar to all of us. Then Fionn adds her voice to the mix, singing of days gone by and what tomorrow will bring. It was a perfect song for the moment. Then Olwen joins in. She sings about past loves and present joys. The way the two sisters sang together, it was like they were having a conversation.

Then we came to the chorus and the three girls sitting at the table harmonized as they sang the recurring lyrics about never forgetting. As they came to the end of the chorus the three of them looked to me. It was their silent way of telling me that it was my turn and to come and join them.

I sat down in between Aida and Olwen and began to sing. The other three fell silent as I sung my verse. The music floated off my tongue and into the air. It curled around us. I didn't notice but the humming had stopped as well and it was just the sound of the lute and me.

Aida cuddled into me as one of the candles went out. I held her in my arms as I sang. I saw Fionn place her head on Holts shoulder and he placed his head on hers. Olwen grinned at the sight of them together.

I sang the last few lines. I sang about family, our family and how I would never let it go, never forget. My voice vibrated as I sang the last note, letting it fade away.

Narendra, being as skilled as he is, made a smooth transition from the end of that song to a lullaby we had all heard as children. It was the one our mothers sang to us to stop us crying and lull us to sleep. Everyone looked at me expectantly and I did not disappoint. I sang to them.

Narayan was the first to drift off. I saw his head bob forward, snapping back a few times as he tried to stay awake, but then he gave up and let sleep take him. Olwen placed her head on my shoulder and I took her soft hand in mine, slowly caressing it. Fionn and Holt were the next ones to go. They slept with smiles on their faces, their hands locked together.

I sang them all to sleep, one by one. The lullaby was about a mother saying goodbye to her child, telling them to be safe and that someday they might meet again. My arm tightened around Aida protectively as I sang. Her breathing became rhythmic and I knew she was dreaming. Was the world of her dreams better then this one? Part of me hoped not or else she wouldn't be able to come back.

On the nights I spent up in the attic with Aida when she would be woken by terrible nightmares I became closer and closer to her. She would wake up screaming and I would hold her, telling her that it was only a dream and everything would be all right. On those nights I would sing her back to sleep. She once told me that I sounded like her mother. She always slept easier after that.

"_Aida?" I asked one night to see if she was still awake. _

"_Yes?" She yawned. _

"_If you travel the world will you always come back to me?" I asked._

"_Always." She smiled up at me. "You are the home I would come back to. You would be the one I missed while I was away." _

I always asked her that question when I dreamed of the day she would be able to leave. I wanted her to be free of course, but I would miss her all the same.

I felt Olwen's body relax next to me and I knew she had fallen asleep as well. I squeezed her hand lightly as a way of saying "sweet dreams". The lute disappeared at some point. I looked up to see Narendra's head bent forward and soft snoring came from his lips. He still held onto the instrument, his strumming hand resting on his lap where it fell after he finished his last note.

One by one they had all fallen asleep. I was alone in the room but I didn't stop singing. Another candle went out but I didn't care, my song rung out through the air. I sang to the children Narendra and Narayan had once been. I sang to the children the others still were and I sang to the child I used to be but never would see again.

The heart of a child never really leaves us though. There are those moments when you let yourself slip willingly back into the reckless youth you had been and the best part about it is you enjoy it.

I look around at the sleeping people at the table. They were my family. Some of them were like my children or nieces and nephews. Others were more of my favorite uncle types. I would sing forever if they asked me to.

There are those moments where I think back to the past, when I can't seem to let it go, and miss the way things used to be. Not now. The sorrow I felt when I thought of Magnus leaving was not here tonight. I was happy. For this brief moment I felt pure joy and I wouldn't give it up for anything.

I did wish that Magnus were there, to hear me sing. I could imagine him sitting across the table from me, smiling and listening.

If things had been different, if the law had never come to exist, then I know things would not be this way. I would like to think that I would still be here singing but I know that it would be unlikely. I wouldn't have gotten to know these people like I have.

I get stuck when thinking: if I had the chance would I change the past, and along with it the future?

I feel the cool tears run down my cheeks and I kiss Aida's soft hair as the lullaby finishes and is swept away. This family surrounds me and yet I am alone. They sleep peacefully and yet I am still awake. A few of my tears soak into Aida's hair but she does not wake. Are these tears of sorrow or of joy? I cannot tell and I don't want to know.

I love these people more then anything. I would do anything for them. For the first time in my life I have something that I would even be willing to die for. I hoped that it would never come to that. I hoped, beyond hope, that when the day came that we would all be free we would be able to sit down at this table again together.

But it was a foolish dream. By the end of this story a few of these seats will be empty forever.

Will mine be one of them?

**Thank you for reading and please REVIEW!**

**I accept all comments but please don't be rude. **

**If there is something you want to see happen I will see if I can fit that into my story.**

**The next chapter will be up within the next week (I hope).**


	8. A familiar sight

**Sorry it took so long but here is the next chapter.**

**In this chapter a new character is introduced.**

**I hope you enjoy.**

A familiar sight

It was raining again. Aida sat on a chair staring out the small window in the attic. Drops of rain slid down the glass. Her eyes followed one until it disappeared, then her eyes would track down another. It had been raining all week almost nonstop. I had promised Aida that I would take her to go visit one of the other towns close by where I would sell my pots at a fair. That isn't going to happen now.

She looks bored just staring out the window. It could get very dreary up here. I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't think of anything. I wanted her to smile but I knew that it was hard for her. Having to live in the shadows for over two years is harder then it seems. Aida was lonely and I couldn't always be there for her no matter how much I wanted to.

Her hair hung loose and flat. She didn't seem to care that some of it had fallen over her face. It was messy and had small pieces of dirt in it. It reminded me of how she looked when she first arrived here. It had been shorter then.

I folded up one of the blankets I had left up here for her to use. It needed some washing. I smoothed down the fabric and laid it in my straw basket. Narayan had made the basket for me before the purge had begun. Gently, I stroked the straw that had been so carefully woven together. I couldn't imagine the basket ever coming apart but then again I had never imagined that my world would fall so far into hatred and fear.

Aida had magic. Uther said magic was evil. Should I fear her? And yet every day I told myself the answer was no. One person's mistake cost so many their lives but whose mistake was it?

Without a word I descended the hidden staircase behind the cabinet. I made my way to the kitchen but as I was passing my room something caught my eye. Diverting from my original path, I pushed the door to my small room open.

The thing that had caught my eye was a small hairbrush. It had a soft light wooden handle. It was smooth to the touch. Even after all of its uses it still looked almost new. It was a special item, a protector of secrets. The small hairbrush was the only one who knew my secret, my greatest secret that no living soul knew of. How long would it stay that way?

I picked up the wooden brush in my left hand. I put my basket down, forgetting my original reason for coming downstairs. I had an idea.

My feet padded up the stairs to the attic. I found her sitting exactly where I had left her. I smiled, knowing exactly what would lighten her spirits. I walked over to her, lightly tapping her shoulder and showing her the wooden brush.

"Would you like me to brush your hair?" I asked lightly.

A small smile appeared on her face as she looked at the brush. It was almost as if I could see memories dancing across her eyes. They were memories of happier times when there was no need to hide, no reason for secrets. I didn't have to ask. I knew that I was not the first to offer to brush her hair for her. Someone very dear to her had done it before. Someone she missed very much. Her mother maybe, or a sister, maybe even a friend?

She nodded silently and turned back to face the window, rain still pouring from the sky. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed. The brush ran smoothly through her ginger hair until it came across a few tangled hairs. The brush fought with them, eager to keep going.

I brushed the mud out of her hair and soon it was as smooth as silk. I ran my hands through it a few times to check for any tangled hair that I missed but found none. I took a small ribbon from the pocket of my jacket and used it to put her hair up out of her face. Once I was done she turned around to face me. She looked beautiful with her hair up. There were still a few smudges of dirt streaked across her cheek. I would get to those later.

Thunder rattled the skies. It was so loud that I almost didn't hear the knock coming from the front door. I froze and I could see Aida become rigid before me. We both stayed in silence until another knock came at the door, more insistent this time. Could we not go a week without being scared out of our minds?

If no one answered the door they would think something was wrong, so, as quietly as I could, I left Aida alone in the attic. I tried my best to put the cabinet back into place without making a sound. Without another delay I answered the door to find two cloaked figures standing in the rain, their cloaks not protecting them very well from the cold.

One of them lifted their heads to reveal their identity, Holt. What was he doing here in this kind of weather? The shorter boy standing next to him I did not know. The sight was so familiar. Over two years ago a friend had come knocking at my door with an unknown child at his side. It had been raining then too. The two figures before me though didn't look like they had run a long way.

Lightning jumped across the sky, waking me from my reveries. I ushered them in out of the cold rain. I took their wet cloaks from them. I almost went to the loose floorboard where I had once hidden Magnus' cloak, but I quickly righted my coarse and went to hang them up where they could dry.

"Alright Holt." I said, looking to the tall sixteen-year old. "What is this all about?"

"I have a favor to ask you." He began. "A family I know from a town over was hiding a sorcerer in their basement. Their house was terribly damaged by the rain so they asked for my help."

"What could you do to help them?" I asked, starting to have suspicions about where this was going.

"The family is going to stay with some relatives while their house is being fixed but they couldn't take the sorcerer with them." He continued. "So they asked me if I could find a place for him to stay while they were away." He fell silent as if waiting for me to catch on.

"Why here?" I knew what he was asking.

"You were the first person I thought of and I know you already have things set up because of you know." He was talking about Aida. "Narayan doesn't have any more room and you have the most experience at dealing with this."

I sighed and looked over to the boy he had brought with him. He was younger then Holt by a year, about Aida's age.

"What's your name?" I asked the boy.

"Jasper." He said simply, looking away as soon as he had given his answer. I could tell he didn't trust me. I couldn't blame him though. I was a stranger to him and he must have learnt not to trust people so easily since the beginning of the purge. It was another thing that the purge had ruined. No one trusted each other anymore.

"Well, Jasper." I tested the name on my tongue. "You are welcome to stay here as long as you like."

I could tell he was slightly surprised at my answer. People didn't just welcome sorcerers into their homes with that much ease these days. I barely had to think about it. One look at Jasper and I knew he had to stay here, especially with these circumstances. They were so similar to the night Aida came to stay with me. The boy reminded me of her.

I went to peak out the window to make sure I wouldn't be getting any more visitors. "And no one saw you come this way, no one that would rat you out?" I had to make sure. Their arrival was so similar to that night that I had to make sure that this fact wasn't the same as well. It was like déjà vu.

"I'm sure." The confidence in Holt's voice made me relax immediately.

"You were right to bring him here Holt." I smiled at him.

"I knew I could trust you." He said. "I'm afraid I can't stay long. I need to make a few preparations."

I knew better then to ask what for. We must keep secrets, even from those inside the organization. Holt said he trusted me but I knew that there were some things that needed to remain in the dark. I understood.

I nodded and went to get his cloak. It was still dripping wet but he put it on anyway and made his exit.

"Thank you Red Wing." He said his goodbye and shut the door behind him.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him I turned back to Jasper. A sweet smile had made its way onto my face. I wanted this boy to trust me. I really did. But he only stood there, warily looking at me as if any moment I would betray him. If he couldn't trust me then maybe there was someone else he would be more willing to trust.

"Follow me." I waved my hand in the gesture. Reluctantly he dragged his feet across the floor after me toward the cabinet. He was confused for a moment when I led him to the tall wooden cabinet.

"Don't worry." I laughed slightly at his confusion. "You won't be staying in the cabinet. You will be staying behind it."

With that I moved the cabinet out of the way. Jasper's eyes widened at the sight of the hidden staircase. It was the reaction I was going for. It was that kind of reaction that kept the attic safe from harm because no one ever went looking for it.

I patted him on the back and shoved him into the opening. He stumbled up the stairs, peaking over the edge as he came level with the attic floor. The chair by the window was empty. The cabinet was secure behind us. I pulled him up the rest of the way.

He looked around. There wasn't much there to look at but there was still a feeling of home that drifted through the air. He took another step into the room, still taking it all in. He seemed to be one of those people who appreciated the small things. I liked that about him.

"Welcome to the attic." I said dramatically. "Now to introduce you to your roommate."

He looked confused. To his eyes the room was empty and we were the only ones there.

"You can come out now." I called out.

Aida melted out of the shadows right behind Jasper. She had become very good at concealing herself in an open room. It was a good skill to have when you played a game as dangerous as this one. You had to be quick and sneaky, ready to run, and ready to hide when necessary.

"Who's this?" She breathed the question down the back of Jasper's neck. He jumped and spun around, fists raised. He had good reflexes but if Aida had been an assassin he would have been dead by now. We were going to have to work on that.

"This is Jasper." I said, laying one of my hands on his shoulder to try and calm him. "Jasper, this is Aida. She's staying here just like you."

Jasper relaxed a little but still looked on edge. Aida looked him up and down for a second then dropped her shadowy façade and smiled.

"It's nice to meet you Jasper." She offered him her hand. Hesitantly, he took it. They shook hands. I could tell they were going to get along.

"Well I will leave you two to become acquainted while I go get you something to eat." I left them there as they began to talk and get to know each other. I saw the smile slowly crawl onto Jasper's face. That's what Aida needed, someone like her. She needed someone who shared the same feelings as she did. Not someone who kept going away and insisted on her staying quiet in the attic.

With Jasper here Aida wasn't going to be bored any time soon. Who knew what the future might hold for these two teenagers. At least, that's what I thought at the time. When I look back now I really should have known.

I should have known.

**Thank you for reading and please REVIEW!**  
** It really on takes a few seconds.**

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**What do you think Joone is hiding?**


	9. The Fall

**Sorry this took so long but I haven't had a lot of time because of exams, but they're over now. *victory dance***

**I hope you enjoy.**

The Fall

The trees were only blurs in my peripheral vision as I ran. I didn't have time to admire the beautiful landscape. I didn't have time to do much at all, except for making sure I didn't trip over anything. Any lost second could be my last. I knew that for sure.

I flew over the forest floor in my attempt to escape. I was running fast, faster then I had ever run before. My eyes were wide and wet. The fiery tears just kept coming, blurring my vision. I gasped in an attempt to stop them falling, but it was useless. The pain of loss still ran freshly through my vanes. I coughed as my lungs begged for rest that I could not give.

The wrap-around skirt that flapped furiously around my legs was torn and covered in mud. A darker, redder, substance was mixed in with the dirt. There had been so much of it and not all of it was mine. I felt the sting of the cuts that ran up and down my arms and legs as I forced the skin around them to stretch when my limbs moved. There was a deep gash behind my right ear where someone had tried to cut it off. The blood ran freely down my neck, hardening and cracking as the flesh moved.

I jumped over a fallen tree that was blocking my path. The trees were getting further and further away from each other. I was almost there, almost. Something whizzed past my left ear, forcing me to turn abruptly, heading in a new direction. The arrow had come from the direction I was running in. They were waiting for me. That way was no longer an option.

My right shoulder smacked into a tree, almost sending me flying. The pain was excruciating and I heard the crack of bones breaking, but still I kept running. I had to. I made a promise. A promise. New tears sprung to my eyes.

The wind was picking up and I had lost track of where I was going. I was not familiar with this part of the woods. In other words, I was lost, but that couldn't stop me. I wouldn't allow it to. Nothing was going to slow me down or get in my way. Not this time.

Then I tripped. The root seemed to have come out of nowhere. How had I missed it? Stupid Joone. I heard the whistle of another arrow flying through the air so I quickly rolled to the side, but not far enough. The stone arrowhead ripped through the sleeve of, what used to be, my white blouse, just nicking the skin. The blouse was stained with mud, blood, and grass. I wore a small red jacket over top of it with short sleeves so the long sleeves of my white blouse could be seen underneath. The jacket went down to just above my bellybutton, and was open with no buttons to close it with.

Before they could loose another arrow, I was on my feet and running again. My feet slammed against the ground silently. They were bear and scratched, like my arms and legs. There was no scarf wrapped around my head so my hair flew along behind me. Free. It was long and a sort of bronze colour.

My pursuers were getting closer. I could hear their yells and taunts now. Most of them were difficult to make out over the sound of the wind beating against my ears.

"Come back here!" One of them yelled.

"You can't run forever filth!" Another called after me. Filth. The insult was so familiar, like I had heard it a hundred times before.

"We'll catch you rat and then you'll be sorry." That voice was louder then the others. They were gaining on me.

My heart beat furiously in my chest. I couldn't let them catch me. Never let them catch me. The feeling of running was so normal to me now, but this time I was alone. I felt the pain of the absence of someone running beside me. Someone important. There had been others too once. Not anymore. I was the only one left.

I wanted to throw back some curses and insults of my own, but I was wheezing so hard that I doubt they would even hear them. They deserved to be chased down, not me. They were the ones who needed to be hunted.

A knife planted itself firmly in the tree I had been running towards. I managed to swerve out of the way just in time. My ears had been trained to pick out the noises of weapons flying through the air when my eyes failed to see them. All that hard work was finally paying off. I hoped.

Then the trees disappeared and I stumbled out of the forest and into a rocky clearing. I heard the crashing of waves. I spun to find that the rocky clearing came to an abrupt end. It ended at a cliff that looked over the viscous waves of the sea, a shear drop. I looked around for a place to run but it was too late. The sound of my pursuers feet hitting the rock sounded behind me. I turned around, slowly, hoping that I would not find them there, but there they were, standing tall and cloaked. They were all dressed in black, shadows cast over their faces so I could not make them out, but I didn't need the light to recognize them. Each of their names came back to me as I scanned each one in turn.

I had once known them to be kind and friendly, but those people were no more. The monsters standing in front of me had lost all memory of whom they once were. They were so deformed that I was surprised I could recognize them at all. Why? Why did it have to be them? Why couldn't they have sent someone else to kill me?

The ones who had sent them were cruel and knew our pasts together. This was their way of punishing me, for what I did. It would have been all right if I had been cut down by one of their monsters I had no connection to. It wouldn't have hurt as much.

They advanced in a straight line towards me, all five of them, forcing me to back away until I was standing right at the edge of the cliff. I dislodged a small rock with my foot and it plummeted to where it broke in two on a jagged rock below. It was swept out of sight when the waves crashed into the rocks. This was it.

"Where is it?" One of them screeched at me. Their voice was so distorted that it no longer resembled in any way to the singsong voice I had once known.

"Give it to us!" Another one shrieked.

"There is nowhere to run." The one on the far right cackled.

"Give up little girl." The tallest of them stepped forward out of the line. His voice was gravelly and horse.

"Never!" I yelled back, steadying myself on the edge.

"Don't make this harder for yourself." The tallest one spoke again and took another step.

I was trapped, with no escape. He was right, there was nowhere to run. But who said I was running.

"You'll never get it from me!" I tried to sound confident.

"Traitor!" The first one who had spoken hissed.

That's when I heard it. Cracking. The ground around me broke open and broke away from the cliff, falling to meet the freezing waters below. The edge of the cliff crumbled, falling, and taking me with it. I had planned to jump all dramatically but this worked just as well.

The one who hadn't spoken yet broke away from the rest of the group. She was the smallest out of the five. She ran towards me, hand outstretched. Without thinking, I lifted my hand to meet hers. I was already over the edge. She reached down to me. For a moment I really thought it was her. When I saw her grey eyes, full of fear, I thought it was the real her, the girl she had been, the one who smiled and laughed alongside me.

My fingertips brushed her soft ones as she grabbed for me, but I was too far. She missed. I fell and she watched me fall, hand still reaching for mine.

"No!" She screamed. It was full of fear and loss. Did she remember me? No, I reminded myself. She forgot my name long ago. A shadow of who we used to be to each other might still be somewhere in her mind, but it was fading. Even now she was forgetting me and who she had been.

I couldn't look anymore so I closed my eyes to her cries. "I'm sorry." I breathed. The words were meant for not only her. They were also meant for the promises I could not keep, the lives I could not save. Maybe I really was the traitor. The backstabber. The villain. The liar.

Then I hit the water and remembered nothing more.

That's when I opened my eyes. I jerked violently under my blanket and fell from my low bed onto the hard ground. I had woken in a cold sweat, gasping for air. The side of my face was now pressed against the cold floor. I lay there for a few moments, trembling. It had all been so real. I sat up slowly, rubbing my head. I still felt the coldness of the water against my skin. My heart still beat uncontrollably under my shirt. I breathed deeply, trying to slow it.

"It was just a dream." I told myself.

Or had it been a memory, lost in time?

**Thank you for reading and please REVIEW!**

**Should I continue writing this story or is no one interested in seeing how it ends?**

**Was the dream just a dream or was it a memory? One that she is hiding from herself?**


	10. Hunith

Hunith

I received the letter only a day before she arrived. I unfolded the cheep parchment and scanned her scribbled handwriting. They were the same letters that I had taught her to write once, before everything went to hell. I didn't know at that moment, but she knew as well as I how difficult the purge could be on the heart. It brought the strangest of people to your door.

The letter read that she was coming for a visit. It had been years since I had seen her so I was delighted to hear the news, but still it was dangerous. I didn't want to get her involved. Little did I know that she was perhaps more involved then I was, and with no way out.

I folded the letter carefully again and placed it in my right pocket, opposite to the one that contained our little secret, the black feather. I calculated in my head how much faster the letter could have gotten here ahead of her, and concluded that she would be arriving the very next day, the morning, to be precise.

The day after I had read and received the letter, I set out bright and early, without waking my refugees, to the edge of town. I could see my breath as I breathed out into the cold air. Winter was coming, and fast. I wrapped my jacket tighter around me. I would have to find my warmer cloths soon and get more blankets for the attic.

The sun was rising in the sky, my pace quickened until I was almost running, my boots making scratching noises against the gravel streets. I reached the edge of the town just in time to see a familiar figure appearing over the hill on the path that led straight to where I stood. I waited for her there until I could just make out her face. I couldn't take it anymore, so I ran to meet her.

She was carrying a bundle in her arms and a bag slung over her back. She looked tired. Just seeing her lifted my heart. It had been so long, too long. I called out to her when I was close enough. "Hunith!"

At the sound of her name she looked up, a radiant smile appearing on her face. "Joone!" She called back. She jogged a little to reach me, but the bundle in her arms slowed her down.

I embraced my old friend when I reached her. The bundle was wedged between us and it squirmed. I looked down and laid eyes on a tiny face. He wasn't quite a baby, a little older. He had a toughed of raven hair covering his small head. His little hands reached up and rubbed his eyes before falling back to sleep.

I looked up at Hunith quizzically. She smiled halfheartedly. She was tired but happy in her own way. My friend was a mother.

"I'll tell you when we get inside." She offered my questioning glance. A cool breeze blew in and we shivered. Hunith wrapped her arms further around the child.

"Of course." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and led her to my house.

Once there, I closed my door against the freezing winds and went to start the fire. Hunith placed herself in a rocking chair I had placed by the fire for her. Gently, she rocked the child in her arms to keep him from waking up. I went to the kitchen and eventually came back with a warm drink to bring the colour back to my friend's cheeks.

I sat down in a chair across from her, waiting. She sipped the warm drink and there was silence for a moment. All that could be heard was the crackling of the fire as it burned.

"What's his name?" I asked. At his age it was obvious that he was a boy.

"Merlin." She answered simply.

Merlin. That was the same name as a bird. I slipped my hand into my pocket to feel the feather. Merlin was a bird of pray, also known as a pigeon hawk. Coincidence. Perhaps. Perhaps not.

"How old is he?" I had an idea of how old he was but I still wanted to know.

"He just turned two years a few days ago." Hunith looked up.

"What are you doing here Hunith?" I had been wondering ever since I had gotten her letter. It didn't offer much for explanation.

"I just needed to get away." She explained. "And do I really need to have an excuse for visiting my best friend."

We both smiled at that. Hunith and I had been close friends since I was fourteen, when I moved with my family to Ealdor. She was like an older sister to me. We got into all sorts of trouble back in the good days when we weren't afraid of death. Things had changed though. We both knew that.

Hunith seemed to be thinking the same thing when her smile faded and she bent her head to sip from the cup again. I had left a couple years back and we hadn't seen each other since. We had written to each other though of course, but I had never put the information about my new lodgers into one of those letters. It was too dangerous, especially if someone else managed to get hold of it. Of course I wanted to tell her. I just never seemed to get the chance. Now that she was here I wasn't sure if I should tell her. I didn't want to put her in any danger. Well it was too late for that.

I looked at the child sleeping in her arms. He looked so peaceful, naïve of this deadly world of lies and deceit. I hoped he would never become part of it. My hopes were for not.

"Where's his father?" I noticed that it was only the two of them who had come.

"I don't know." She shook her head; a brief look of sadness crossed her face.

"Is he alive?" I asked cautiously.

"I hope so." She sighed. She had loved the man, that was for sure, and it was enough for me. I wish I could have met him if he made her sigh like that.

"Does this fellow happen to have a name?" I questioned with a smile.

She hesitated for a moment then she looked my in the eye. I had a feeling I might not like what she said. "His name was Balinor."

It took me a moment but then I realized. "Balinor!" I almost yelled but Hunith shushed me. "Balinor?" I asked in a quieter voice. "You don't mean?"

Hunith simply nodded and I gaped.

"A Dragonlord. Are you mad?" I lent forward in my chair.

"Maybe?" But she smiled when Merlin turned in his sleep.

"What happened?" This was all too much.

"He was running from the king and I offered to hide him." She shrugged as if it were nothing. "We fell in love but then he had to leave. He didn't want to put me in danger."

"Well he was smart. I'll give him that." I sighed and sat up. "You really do love him."

"Yes." She grinned.

"Does he know about…?" I gestured to Merlin.

"No." Hunith shook her head. "He left before I knew."

"Well I guess he didn't leave after all." I pointed at Merlin. "He left part of himself behind."

"I'm glad he did." She rocked Merlin back and forth in her arms.

I fidgeted in my chair. "Can I, um, can I hold him?" I asked hesitantly.

Hunith looked up grinning from ear to ear. "Of course you can."

I got up and walked over to her, kneeling down beside the rocking chair. Carefully, she slipped the bundle into my arms. I held him close to me and looked down at his young face. He was so tiny. I felt a tear come to my eye.

"Hey there." I cooed. Merlin's eyes opened slightly to get a look at me. "I'm your aunt Joone."

I heard Hunith give a joyful laugh at the sight. In that moment the two of us were so happy. It was as if the purge had never begun and I hadn't moved away from Ealdor. It was like the old times when Hunith and I would never leave each other's sides, not even for a moment.

"He's beautiful." I complemented. "He takes after you there. Is the hair from his father's side?"

"Yes." She leaned down and stroked his little head.

"He's so small." I couldn't get over that. "I wish I could have been there." More tears came to my eyes and I could see that Hunith's eyes were brimming with them.

"I wish you could have been too." She got out of the chair and knelt beside me, wrapping her arms around Merlin and me. "I still wish you hadn't gone away to begin with."

"So do I sometimes." I laid my head on her shoulder. "But then Merlin might not be here."

"And why is that?" She looked at me.

"Because I would have told you off about Balinor being there in the first place." I laughed.

"That wouldn't have changed anything." She laughed back. Then we laughed together.

Hunith was stubborn. I knew what she said was true and I had no right to judge her for hiding him. I glanced at the ceiling, thinking of the sleeping. It was still early and I wouldn't expect them to be awake.

"You're right." I closed my eyes. "You were always right."

"You probably would have been mad but then you would have helped me. Wouldn't you?" She kissed the top of my head lightly.

"You're like a sister to me Hunith. Of course I would." I looked up at her.

A small sound came from the bundle. We both looked down to see Merlin staring up at us. His eyes were wide and bright, curious. Did curiosity really kill the cat or did it just betray the naïve creature.

"You're a mother." I finally said it out loud.

"I am." She spoke as if she was just realizing it as well.

He stretched out one of his tiny hands towards me. I took his hand, tracing the lines of it with my thumb. Reading palms was like second nature to me. I don't remember how I learnt to do it. I stared down at the lines that crisscrossed. There wasn't much there yet to read.

"He will be strong." I told Hunith who had seen me read hands before. She had never let me read her hand though. She wanted her future to be a surprise. But her motherly instincts took over when I spoke of her son's future. She wanted to know if he would be safe.

"He will be loved." I continued. "He has a good heart and he will be wise. He will struggle." Hunith looked at me, worried.

"He will not have to struggle alone. There will be others there with him. He may feel alone at times but there will always be people there for him. There is no need to worry."

"I'm his mother. It's my job." We laughed.

Hunith pulled away from me and I slowly passed her Merlin, who had started to cry quietly. She held him close and tried to calm his cries. Soon they disappeared and I knew he had fallen asleep again.

I didn't tell her all I had read. I didn't want to worry her anymore then she would. There was something very big in the boy's future. Something I couldn't understand yet. He would do more then struggle. There would be times when the way seemed dark and he would lose himself. There was evil written there. It may not have belonged to him but I couldn't make it out. His hand was so small.

As he grew older his future would become clearer and I would be able to see everything. I wished him the best. He would have a great adventure, one that would be remembered until the end of time. Then beyond.

I hadn't read anyone's palm for a very long time. I had stopped almost completely when the purge began. I was afraid that it would be seen as an act of sorcery. Luckily no one in town really knew about my talent. They didn't have the chance to betray me.

It felt good to read again. I was glad I got to read his hand. I didn't know who he really was at the time. He was only a child. How could he have such a large destiny? I always had to be careful with my readings. Sometimes knowing your future was dangerous. I have never read my own hand. I'm always afraid of what I will find, especially now.

I smiled at the sight of Hunith so happy. I pulled my knees up to my chest and laid my arms crossed on top of my knees. I laid my head on my arms. The fire warmed us.

In that moment I could almost forget about the purge. Then I heard the all too familiar sound of wood scraping against wood.


	11. Snowfall and the reveal of Emrys

**Just noticed I never put an author's note on the last chapter. Oops.**

**Anywho, here's the next chapter.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Snow fall and the reveal of Emrys

I looked up to see two shadowy figures sneaking out from behind the cabinet, but this time they weren't headed for the door. The two of them had snuck out several times before. The first time I found that they were gone I thought they had been found by the king's knights. I immediately went to Holt for help but on my way there I saw them in the field. I gave them quite a lecture when I ran out there to catch them. I never knew I could give lectures.

I remember my mother giving long ones when she found me doing things I shouldn't be. Usually Hunith and I were in on it together. They just always thought I was the instigator. Well, let me tell you, Hunith had some pretty mischievous ideas up her sleeves. We even got away with a few of them. I always thought my mother was overreacting, but now I understood. When you care about someone you want them to be safe. Jasper still doesn't trust me. Even so, I don't know what I would do if something happened to either of them.

They had snuck out several times after that and lately I've let them. They need their freedom. I know that. They are going through what my mother called a rebellious stage. It was natural, especially if you've been cooped up in an attic for several months without going out. We made the odd trip here and there. Ok, I'll admit I may have been a little over protective. So, I let them have their little adventures, as long as they came back before sunrise. If they weren't back by then I was going to have a proper freak out.

This was different. It was morning and they weren't headed for the door. Instead the two of them were sneaking towards us. Hunith was so wrapped up in looking at little Merlin that she hadn't noticed. My head snapped up and watched them come closer. I knew that they could see me watching, but still they did not hide. I was confused.

Aida came until she was only a few feet away from us. Her hands were wrapped together and she looked nervous. Jasper appeared behind her looking equally as wary. Slowly I stood up, catching Hunith's attention. She looked up to see the two teenagers. She got to her feet as well, holding Merlin close.

"Joone? Who are they?" She looked to me for an answer.

I froze. I didn't know what to say. The truth, it seemed to be my only option.

"Joone?" She asked again.

"Hunith." I began. "This is Aida." I placed my hand on Aida's shoulder. "And the one hiding behind her is Jasper." He shot me a dirty look for that.

"What are they doing here?" Hunith adjusted her grip on the child.

"Well." I hesitated. "They're hiding in my attic." I cringed, waiting for her to yell at me.

"They're sorcerers!" She was surprised for a moment then her features softened. "And you were going to lecture me about Balinor."

I smiled. "I guess I was being hypocritical."

"But they're so young." She noticed. "How old are you?"

"Fifteen, almost sixteen." Aida spoke up first. "Both of us." She said when Jasper remained silent.

"How did you get yourself into this Joone?" Hunith looked to me again.

"It's complicated." I shrugged.

Aida took a step towards Hunith. "It is an honor to meet you."

"Why do you say that?" She asked.

"You have given this world it's salvation, it's savior." Aida explained.

"I don't understand."

"Your son." She continued. "He will bring peace and magic back to this realm. He will grow to become a Hero."

Aida closed the space between them. Hunith was stunned at this information. The two of them looked down at Merlin. Aida reached out to touch his little hand that was sticking out from under the blanket. Her hand recoiled slightly as a spark ran between his hand and hers. His eyes opened slowly and he giggled at the sight of a new face. Aida's hand completely enveloped his. I saw a tear come to her eye.

"Jasper." She gestured to her friend. "Come see him."

Jasper walked forward and Hunith didn't stop him. They were both quite in awe of the child. I went to stand by Hunith's side. Merlin's eyes were blue, very beautiful. It was the first time I had ever really seen them since they arrived. He had been asleep almost the entire time.

Merlin looked up at the four of us with wide eyes. So many new faces for him to take in. I could tell he was enjoying himself.

"All is not lost." Aida gasped. "One day, when he is old enough, he will make the journey to Camelot and lead us out of the dark. He will change the world."

"This baby will save us?" Jasper didn't seem to believe it.

"Not for a while. When he is older and stronger." Aida almost laughed for joy.

"Why my son?" Hunith asked. "Why not someone else?"

"He will be the strongest. The wisest. He can do it." Aida tried to breath. She was so excited. "I know he can."

"But he is only a baby now." Jasper argued. "He won't be strong enough for a very long time."

"Then we'll just have to be patient." Aida looked to Jasper. "Freedom is worth waiting for. It will happen. We will be free one day and it will be because of this boy."

"What's his name?" Jasper asked Hunith.

"Merlin." She replied.

"A bird." Jasper smiled. "Seems he's a part of the organization already."

"The organization?" Hunith wondered. "You don't mean the organization of the Black Feather, do you?"

All three of us nodded to her astonishment. "He may never know we exist but we will stand behind him the entire way." I finally spoke up. I had really meant to say that in my head but it just came out.

"You're a part of the organization?" Hunith looked at me, surprised.

"I told you it was complicated."

"He is so small." Jasper noted.

"With such a large destiny." Aida added. "He has been spoken of in prophecy. They called him Emrys."

"Then how do you know Merlin is this Emrys?" Hunith was trying to take everything in. It was a lot, to find out your son had such a large destiny on his shoulders.

"His magic is powerful. We could sense it all the way from upstairs. Only one person could have such magic." Jasper explained.

"Magic?" Hunith looked afraid now. "But he hasn't learnt any."

"Merlin is one of the rare few to be born with the power already running alive through him. For most it is dormant until they awaken it, but with him it has awoken on it's own." Aida smiled down at the child.

"Oh my baby." Hunith began to cry. "I'm proud of you already. You're just like your father."

"Hunith." Aida spoke softly to her. "You must never tell him of his future. He cannot know of his destiny until the time is right. You will know when the time is right for him to make the journey to Camelot. Do you understand?"

"I do." She spoke with confidence. "I will keep him safe."

"He will not be alone in this." Jasper confirmed. "His journey will bring him many things. Friendship is one of them. He will cherish it."

"Who doesn't cherish friendship?" I whispered.

I stared down at Merlin. So that is what I saw when I tried to read his hand. All I could make out was that there was something large in his future. I had never imagined it would be something like this. He was a part of a prophecy. I felt jealous for a moment. His future was certain. He had a path, a place to go, and a goal. He would grow up and live his life.

I didn't know what the future held for me and sometimes I couldn't bear to think about it. There was a very large possibility that we wouldn't make it through this alive. We may not live to see this peaceful world that they spoke off. We may not make it to the day we are finally free. Though I would never tell anyone of these thoughts.

I would give anything not to have to hide anymore. I could be patient. I would wait forever for the day when I didn't need to be afraid anymore. There wasn't a problem there, but I had a bad feeling that waiting wouldn't be an option. We may not have that kind of time.

"Look it's snowing." Jasper noticed.

I looked up to see small snowflakes floating down from the cloudy sky. They were slow, like the sand in the hourglass that sat next to my bed. It counted down the time that had passed and the time we had left. How much snow was left up in the sky, waiting to float down to earth? How much time did we have left?

"It's beautiful." Aida whispered.

The world was a beautiful place, but sometimes-ugly things could be seen. The world wasn't perfect. Nobody was perfect. I especially wasn't perfect. We can't go through life without seeing a little darkness, but now and again we need to take time to look at the beautiful things. Without the darkness there would be no such thing as beautiful because it would only seem normal.

"Look at that Merlin." Hunith brought him close to the window to see the sunrise and the snow falling.

Merlin wouldn't remember this day. He wouldn't remember how the snow fell from the sky or the other three people in the room other then his mother. He wouldn't remember the revealing of his destiny. Merlin was only a child, not able to understand quite yet what the world had in store for him.

I watched him stare at the snow falling from the sky with eyes full of wonder. I noticed he was a very quiet. He didn't laugh and squeal at this new sight. He didn't gargle the odd word or sentence. He just remained silent, taking in the moment.

No matter how much he took in he would never be able to keep these memories. It just wasn't in the cards. He would forget and Hunith had promised not tell him, not to remind him of what happened this morning. A part of me wanted him to remember us. Everyone wants to be remembered, to feel as if they had somehow made an impact.

Merlin would forget, but I wouldn't. I will remember the falling snow and the words that were spoken. I would remember the small child destined to save us all. He made an impact on my life and would live to impact the lives of others. He would be remembered.

Jasper, Aida and I were amongst the many that would disappear from history. It would be as if we had never lived at all. No one would tell our story because soon enough no one would remember, except me.

I would always remember. I will never forget.

Two years, seven months, and twenty-five days. That's how long has passed since the day this world plunged into darkness. How long would it be before someone came along to pull us out? Would we be around to see it happen?

**Thank you for reading and please (I am on my knees here) REVIEW!**

**How do you think the story will end? What is Joone counting down to?**

**I need help thinking of a better summary for this story. Any ideas? **

**The next chapter will be up soon. It will be up faster if you review.**


	12. Redwings on fire

**Sorry that took so long but here is the next chapter.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs.**

Redwings on fire

Night was falling. It had been about a week since Hunith and Merlin had arrived. I stood by the attic window, staring out at the beautiful night sky filled with shining stars. I held a thin burning stick in my hand, the one I had used to light the candles.

My eyes wandered down to the street below. It was empty and dark. Not a soul walked there, no one to see me staring out. Slowly, I bent my head and blew out the flame and placed the curtains back into place. I looked back into the room to look at the other occupants of the cold attic. The snow had started falling again outside.

Jasper and Aida were sitting next to each other with their backs to the wall. They both had a blanket wrapped around them. Aida had her eyes closed but Jasper was staring at the flames of the candles. Hunith sat across from them against the opposite wall. She held Merlin tightly in her arms to keep him warm. There were bags under her eyes and I could tell that she wanted nothing more then to just drift off into a well deserved sleep.

I had a warm shawl wrapped tightly around my shoulders to keep out the cold. Even with this protection I shivered. I went and sat next to Hunith, taking a good look at my friend. Her eyes were already half shut. I sighed and reached out my arms.

"You need to get some sleep. I can take him for a while."

She looked at me skeptically then she yawned. I razed my eyebrows and she knew that I had seen. She sighed and silently passed me the child. I wrapped my shawl around him as soon as he was in my arms. Hunith yawned again and let her head wrest against the wall behind her. Soon enough her breathing slowed and I knew she was out.

We passed some time in silence. There were many nights that we spent in the same way. Silence became our new companion. The quiet of the night had once been a beautiful thing, but now it was filled with fear and worry. When would it end?

Jasper looked over to Aida who still had her eyes closed. A strand of hair had fallen across her face. He reached over and stroked it away. It was a simple gesture. His eyes fell slightly when she did not stir, and went back to looking at the burning candles.

We found out yesterday that he would be staying here a lot longer then we had first realized. The family who had hidden him before felt that it wasn't safe for him to come back any time soon. It may be best if he stayed here, forever.

I hoped forever wouldn't be long. Don't get me wrong, I cared about them both dearly, but they need their freedom. They can't live in fear their whole lives. The time will come when they can truly live again.

Jasper still doesn't trust me. I can see that. I had hoped that he would grow to trust me as Aida does but it appears as though that may never happen. He trusts Hunith though, because of Merlin.

As if he could sense me thinking about him, Merlin wriggled in my arms and yawned. I adjusted my hold on him so that he could be more comfortable. The shadows in the room seemed to move, drawing my gaze to the boy sitting across the room from me.

Jasper had his hand outstretched towards the candles sitting in the middle of the room. I watched as his eyes glowed a beautiful gold colour and the fire lifted from the wax, floating into the air. They bobbed up and down like on the waves out at sea.

Merlin seemed to sense the magic as his eyes popped open and he peered out at the dancing lights. I heard a giggle burst from his tiny lips and his little hand reached out as if he wanted to catch them. Or maybe he wanted to do it too. Perhaps he wanted to make the fire dance.

"That's beautiful." Aida's voice startled Jasper and he almost lost his control on the flames.

"You think so?" He made the flames rise higher into the air.

"Yeah." She raised her hand too, towards the lights. A few of them broke away from the others and they began to dance to a different song. Aida was controlling them now.

"Wow." Jasper murmured. His fingers twitched and his fire went to join hers. They weaved in and out and around each other. Kind of like Lords and Ladies would at a royal ball.

I'd heard stories of their dances, so elegant and graceful. Every move practiced and rehearsed until perfect. They knew their partner's moves before they made them. It was as if they danced as one. It was a connection they shared that no one could duplicate. Each pair was different in their own ways, even though they were all using the same moves.

That is what I thought of as I watched their fires burn together, as if they knew what the other was going to do even without talking. They were both staring up at the beautiful dance as if in a trance. The fire reflected in their eyes. They moved as one. The flames rose and fell.

There was that connection between the two of them that no other could understand. I watched them closely and still did not comprehend how they were doing it. Their magic bound them together. It was a bond stronger then the threads of time. Their futures would be forever intertwined.

Fire used to be a sign of freedom and hope. It burned as our hearts do. That is what their fire told me.

Now though, fire means something else. It is danger and fear. The ashes they leave behind cannot return to the way they once were. Fire is destruction as we are burned for our treason.

But as I watch these two, I am taken back to the time before the purge, a time of freedom. When fire meant so much more then just a way of getting rid of something that scared you. A strange feeling suddenly came over me. I wasn't afraid anymore.

Then, as one, their fires returned to the candles and the dance was over but this new feeling still burned inside of me. I looked over to Hunith who was still sound asleep. There wasn't anything that would wake her now. She wouldn't wake up until the sun rose high in the sky the next day, but now it was dark and I let her sleep.

I got to my feet and looked down at Aida and Jasper. They returned my gaze, wondering what I was going to say.

"Come with me." I said simply and headed towards the stairs. Aida followed me without question and Jasper followed her, still on guard.

We made our way down the stairs to the large cabinet. Aida stepped in front of me and pushed it out of the way. We stepped through. I grabbed a long piece of fabric from a chair that I had been using as a scarf and made it into a sling for Merlin. I threw two cloaks to them for them to put on. I still hadn't said what we were doing, but the mystery drew them in as they followed me out the front door.

The cloaks were warm around us in this cold weather. It wasn't until we reached the stables that I finally turned around to answer the question that was plaguing their minds.

"Have either of you ever ridden a horse before?" I asked.

"Yes." They both answered warily.

"Then get on." I opened the gates to reveal three horses. One was gray with white spots. Another was brown with white socks. The last one was black with a white mane.

Aida immediately went for the brown one. Jasper took the gray one next to hers. So I took the last one, the black one. _Beautiful beast. _I thought as I stroked its neck.

"Where are the saddles?" Jasper asked.

"Saddles?" I looked over the horse to see him. "Oh no. No saddles. We're riding bareback."

"What?" He looked at me incredulously. "Are you crazy?"

"Maybe." I laughed.

"Oh, come on Jasper. What's life without a little danger?" Aida brought her horse over to the gates. She climbed up on the gate and mounted her horse. Then she smiled back at us as if to say _hurry up_.

With that, Jasper expertly mounted his horse and went to join her. I watched them for a moment before mounting my own horse. A came until all three of us were next to each other in a line with Aida in the middle.

"Don't these horses belong to somebody?" Aida looked to me.

"Yeah, but we'll have them back before Mr. Thomson will even notice they're gone." I galloped off before they could ask any more questions. I could hear the hooves of their horses' pounding the earth behind me.

We sped towards the forest, disappearing within the trees. There was no path to follow and I honestly had no ideas of where I was leading them. I was just going. For the first time in so long I didn't care. My eyes didn't scan the shadows of the forest for potential threats.

Jasper and Aida disserved freedom. They had been trapped in that attic for a long time, only coming out when I was sure it was safe and no one would see or ask questions. We never went too far and we always stuck to the paths I knew. Not this time. This time I left it all to fate to decide what direction we went in.

They had it wrong, the ones who said that Jasper and Aida were the only ones trapped in that house. I was too. I had to be carful in order to keep them safe. It hadn't always been that way. There had been a time when I was reckless and I loved it. Why do you think I was so willing to join the Black Feather? Not only to save them. If it had only been that then I wouldn't have been involved so much. I wouldn't have been Magnus' right hand.

I wouldn't have been the Blackbird's red wings. A bird can't fly without its wings. I wanted to fly and I wanted the thrill of it. When it started I loved the sound of my heart beating furiously in my chest. It told me that I was alive and I had something worth living for.

Back then I had nothing to loose. I volunteered to do the dangerous jobs because I wanted in. I liked the feeling of adventure and danger. I wanted to get out there and do something.

Now I was trapped, my wings pinned together. Now I had something to loose and I would do anything not to loose them. But I didn't think about that now. Forward was all I saw. I heard their laughter coming from behind me and I smiled. We needed to stretch our wings. I wanted to fly again.

The snow flew past us softly. Merlin giggled as we bounded up and down through the trees, expertly avoiding them all. I went faster and faster as if I needed to escape, to get away from something.

As I rode faster and faster I could feel my red wings stretching out behind me. I was Redwing again. We rode bareback and the feeling was strangely familiar, as if I had done it so many times before. But that wasn't possible.

The cloth was wrapped tightly around my head, not allowing my hair to fly behind me, caught in the wind. I had it like that as far back as I can remember. Why did I do that again?

Something knocked me from my thoughts and I stopped. The horse skidded to a halt. The others stopped beside me, wondering why I was staring off into the woods as if I had seen something. They followed my gaze, their eyes widening.

It crackled and popped. Consuming nature, its beauty, and freedom. The snow did nothing to slow its hungry rampage. This was the dangerous kind of fire, the one that we feared. This fire meant to destroy us, and nothing was going to get in its way.

The forest was on fire and we were right in the middle of it.

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	13. Trust me

**Sorry this one took a lot longer because I have been working on my other story "Buried" for a while and it took up all my time writing. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Trust me

I looked around, the fire slowly growing closer. The air around use became almost unbearably hot and I felt myself gasping for air. I desperately looked around for a means of escape but the fire surrounded us. Jasper and Aida shared my fearfulness. We had to get out, and fast or the fire would overtake us. The horses moved uncomfortably and we struggled to keep them calm in the face of the fire.

There had to be a way out. It couldn't all end here, with one simple accident, one mistake. That's all it really took in the end, one mistake and you would be falling with no way to get back up again as the fire consumes you body and soul.

I wanted to cry out for help but I couldn't see what good that would do. I had to be strong, for their sakes. It was for them that I needed to find a way out. I didn't need to save myself, only them. Right from the start it had been them I needed to protect. That was my job and I wasn't going to fail them.

That was the very reason that I was going to try something that sounded completely stupid and dangerous. That's what my life seemed to be filled with lately. Making stupid and dangerous decisions. I felt Merlin squirm in the sling he was laying in. I had almost forgot he was there. It wasn't only Aida and Jasper that I needed to save. If things went wrong a whole destiny would be destroyed and we would never be free.

I looked back at the others. "Follow me." I turned to ride off but Jasper's voice stopped me.

"We can't go that way." He argued. "That leads straight into the fire. It will kill us."

"Do you have a better idea?" I called back to him. He remained silent. Jasper hadn't trusted me since the day he arrived and no matter what I did he still looked at me as if any second I would send word to Camelot that I had two sorcerers in my custody, but that wasn't me. Would he ever understand that?

"We shouldn't have come here." He continued.

All right, that was it. I turned my horse around and trotted up next to him. He looked at me warily as if I was going to throw him into the fire.

"Do you think I knew this was going to happen?" I was angry. "Do you think I wanted to get you hurt?" Jasper was speechless at the anger and sincerity in my voice.

"If you want to get out of here alive you are going to have to trust me." I looked him straight in the eye. "I know that will be hard for you but you have to realize I'm not the bad guy. I want to keep you both safe and I would give my life to protect you."

I could see Jasper was having an argument with himself inside his mind. Should he trust me? The correct answer was yes but he seemed to be having a hard time grasping it. I meant every word of what I said. Why couldn't he see that?

"We don't have time for this." The fire was getting closer. "Come with me and have the chance of living, or stay here and battle the fire. It's your choice."

With that I rode off. Aida followed me, and a few seconds later Jasper joined us as well. We rode our horses straight towards a wall of fire. If I was right, and I hope I was, this wall would be smaller and thinner then the others. I took a deep breath. Time seemed to slow. Then in one powerful movement, the horse jumped, carrying me over the wall of fire. We landed safely on the other side and I could see a clear path out of here. I looked behind me to make sure the others had made it too. They had.

I steered the horse, weaving in and out of the trees in order to avoid the flames that lashed out at us, trying to burn us. Our cloaks flapped behind us. We were so close to being clear of the heat, riding fast to keep ahead of the flames that were rapidly growing, devouring everything in its path.

Then I was hit with a burst of cold air as we burst into the open and away from the burning forest. We came to a halt in the snow-covered field, looking back. Aida came up beside me. Both of us looked over at the third horse, realization coming over us. There were three horses but only two riders.

"Where's Jasper?" Aida voiced the question. I looked back into the fire. He must have fallen off his horse. For all we knew the fire could have already gotten to him or at least the smoke. But I wasn't going to tell Aida that.

I tried to ride my horse back into the woods to go look for him but the horse refused my commands so I was forced to dismount.

"Aida you stay here ok."

"What are you going to do?" She asked fearfully.

"I'm going back in to find him."

"I'll come too." She began to dismount as well but I stopped her.

"No, you need to stay here and look after the horses." I removed the sling from around my neck and handed Merlin to Aida. "You need to keep him safe. Can you do that?"

She took Merlin in her arms and nodded. I smiled at her then ran back into the forest on fire. I looked around, desperate for a glimpse of the boy. I went in further, my hand over my eyes to try and see better. I unwrapped a red neckerchief that I always kept tied around my left wrist and used it to cover my mouth and keep out the smoke. I squinted, falling to the side as I narrowly escaped being crushed by a falling tree.

Then I saw him, he was still. I crawled towards him, trying to stay bellow the spoke. He must have been knocked out. I draped one of his arms over my shoulder and dragged him through the fire, back to Aida. The heat was growing and I had to blink black spots from my eyes. It felt like my lungs were on fire, but I couldn't stop. I had to get him out.

Jasper wasn't as heavy as I thought he would be. The Purge had made him thin. I was going to have to force food into his mouth when we got back. He needed to eat. We didn't have much food. It would be too suspicious if I bought enough food to feed three people when I was supposed to be the only one living in that house. It was a little easier with Hunith was here because now I had an excuse, but it was still hard. I would never tell them, but I hadn't properly eaten anything for a few days now either. I regretted it as I felt myself growing weaker under the heat of the fire.

We were almost there, just a few more feet and we would be home free. I heard the creaking of a tree as its base weakened. It was about ready to fall. The sound was close, too close. I realized just in time and pushed the unconscious Jasper forward and into the opening. He fell into the soft snow as the tree fell. I closed my eyes, ready for the end. I told Jasper that I would give my life for them. It seems now I would be living up to my words.

But I never felt the pain of the burning wood crushing me against the ground. I looked up to see that the tree trunk had narrowly missed me. My eyes were wide and my heart beat furiously in my chest. I had never believed in luck before this moment, but as I scrambled out of the burning woods again and into the snow I found myself becoming a believer, or had it been magic.

I looked up to see Aida, with Merlin in her arms. Jasper was sitting up now next to me. The cold snow must have woken him up. My eyes went back to Merlin who seemed to be staring down at me. Something inside me was telling me that I owed him my life. Magic ran through his veins. He would become great some day I just knew it.

Jasper was looking at me in shock. His mind trying to find the words for what just happened.

"You save my life." He sounded astonished.

"Never imagined that would happen." I said sarcastically.

"But why?" He seemed to finally realize that if I was evil then what just happened shouldn't have happened.

"I told you. I would give my life to make sure you were safe." I smiled at him. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you." Slowly I got to my knees, coughing.

Then Jasper did something I never thought he would do. He hugged me. I was caught by surprise. He didn't say it but I knew this was his way of saying thank you and maybe sorry for not trusting me. I returned his hug. I was just so relieved that he was safe.

Aida smiled and Merlin giggled next to us. The three horses just stood patiently and watched us. I was the one to pull away first. I looked both of them up and down and started laughing. Soot covered their faces. I got a snowball to the face for that. I returned it swiftly, smacking Jasper in the stomach. He looked winded for a minute but Aida was laughing so hard that he threw a snowball at her too. We laughed and insulted each other playfully, throwing snowball after snowball until we saw the sun coming up in the sky.

Hunith would be waking up soon and knowing her we would be in big trouble. Especially if she learnt that we had put Merlin's life in danger. He was laughing though. I looked back at the others. The looks on their faces told me that they might be thinking the same thing.

"Not a word to Hunith about any of this." They nodded. This would be our little secret, as if we didn't keep enough of those already. We quickly wiped away any signs of snow or soot then mounted the horses again. We galloped back to town and returned the horses from where we had taken them.

We slipped in through my front door without a sound and made our way up the stairs to the attic. I sighed with relief when I saw Hunith still fast asleep, but the candles had blown out. Jasper and Aida slipped under their sheets and pretended to sleep, though I'm pretty sure they fell asleep for real. Merlin was asleep too in my arms as I carried our cloaks back downstairs to put them away. They were wet from the snow and slightly singed from the fire.

I returned to the attic and sat down next to Hunith. I watched them all sleep and smiled. When Hunith woke up in the morning she wouldn't suspect anything.

As I looked at their peaceful faces I found myself once again wondering if they would ever be free or if the fire would find them first. I adjusted Merlin in my arms. He was so small and innocent but yet he had such a great destiny. One day he would save us all.

I had escaped the fire that night but how long would I be able to run for before the fire finally caught up.

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	14. My Secrets

**I was feeling emotional so I wrote this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, just my OCs and this plot.**

**Hope you enjoy whoever you are.**

My Secrets

White snow still covered the ground as I stepped out into the cold of winter alone. The others had gone ahead and I said I would catch up because I had something to do, finish washing the dishes or something like that they must have thought. But it was a lie. There are still those moments where I just want to step into the open and breath in the cold hair. I know I am completely alone, so that I can just take it all in with no distractions. In moments like these I can truly forget everything that has happened to me over the past two years. But soon enough it will come crawling back into my mind, shattering this peaceful moment.

I looked both ways down the street. It was empty, not a soul in sight. I didn't even have that chill feeling running through me that would tell me when I was being watched. For once in my life I was actually completely alone in my own little world. I closed my eyes, letting the world around me disappear.

The Purge hadn't been the beginning of my chain of deceit. There was something there, at the back of my mind, screaming to be heard. A secret, another stupid secret locked up inside me. But this one was different. Not only was I keeping it from everyone around me but I was also keeping it from myself. What was my darkest secret? Not even I knew the answer to that question but I knew it was there. I could feel it.

They say that curiosity killed the cat. If I were the cat then my life would definitely be coming to an end. I wanted to know. I wanted to know my own secret and it might just kill me in the end.

To the others I'm just Joone, or Redwing to a few. I'm just that girl that's in way over her head. There is a feeling deep inside me though. It tells me that I've been in over my head since the day I was born. I protect those with magic, risking my life for them, and they always wonder why. Why do I do all of this for them? Two years ago I never knew most of these people but now they're like family to me.

If I hadn't gotten involved I would be safe and making pots for a living but that didn't happen did it. I didn't just hide a couple sorcerers. I brought them into my life, telling them they could stay as long as they liked because I would always protect them. I would always be there for them no matter what happened.

When people asked why I did it I usually say for adventure and because I care. Both those things are true. I do care. I care enough not to let that happen to anyone no matter who they are. But there's something else, another reason why I do what I do. It's instinct. There's something deep inside me, something I can't quite grasp. A sort of understanding of these people, like I understand them on a deeper level then anyone realizes.

If someone asked me what it was I wouldn't be able to answer, because I don't know. How do you think it feels to not even know who you really are? It's like I'm walking around as only half a person, half a coin. My other side has been lost to the past and I can't find it anymore.

There are people out there who know who they are, and they're afraid. They have to hide who they really are because if anyone knew they'd be killed. Am I hiding? Would I be killed if anyone knew who I was?

I've never told anyone, not even Hunith, but my memories aren't all there. I can't remember anything before I came to Ealdor with who I thought was my family. I was fourteen at the time. That was six years ago. I was so good at lying that no one could tell that I had amnesia. To them I wasn't any different then anyone else.

I've asked my parents in the past because I knew something was wrong. I didn't look like either of my parents like my siblings did. I would have understood if they told me that my parents had given me away. I really would have. But that's not what they said. When I asked who I was all they said was "We don't know."

The people I call my parents say that they just found me one day, washed up on a beach somewhere with no memories. They were kind people and they took me in, but they couldn't hide the truth from me. I wasn't their daughter and they didn't know where I had come from.

The snow is starting to soak into the bottom of my dress but I don't move. I just keep my eyes closed and breath in the cold air of winter. I wrap my shawl tighter around me as the wind picks up. Slowly I open my eyes, checking that there's no one around to see me. I lift my hand up to the scarf that I have wrapped tightly around my head, and I take it off. The fabric hangs loosely in my hands, waving in the wind. My hair falls down to my shoulders. It sweeps across my forehead, feeling soft.

My hair, the secret I know I have kept for six years. The only other people who know are the ones I refer to as my parents. Ever since I came to them they made me wrap my hair, hiding it from the rest of the world. At first I didn't understand but then I looked around at everyone else and I knew I was different. My hair has always been the one visual proof that I was different.

I used to think there was something wrong with me. My hair isn't really bronze like it was in my dream.

I let the cold wind run through my hair, lifting it off my shoulders and blowing in the wind. It felt good to let my hair down. This was what I imagined freedom felt like. There would be no reason to hide anymore, no reason to fear. But that was a lost dream. A wish I had forgotten years ago.

Someday Emrys would free his people and bring peace back to these lands with the help of the Once and Future King as they reunited Albion together. It was a dream that many of those who posses magic share. Some have never heard the story and believe there is no light in the darkness. But others know the truth. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and someday they will reach it.

Something told me that this light wasn't for me. There had never been a light willing to bring me out of this darkness. There was no point in the future where I would be free like them. There is no magic running through my veins but I am not normal like most people these days. I am… something else. No one will ever free me from this cage.

But even in the darkness I am not alone. They do not share the same shadows as I do but they are still close to me. They keep me from falling off the edge. Sometimes I get so close but they pull me back every time. I'm an accomplished liar. In their eyes I am the one protecting them, but the deal goes both ways.

I smile and sing and act normal. I feel fear and anger just like them. I cry and laugh when the time is right. But I am not like them. I can feel it in my heart and it scares me because I don't know what it is, this monster inside me. Like everyone else I am afraid of the unknown.

Sometimes Aida finds me staring blankly out the window, a wistful look on my face. She'll ask if I'm ok but I'll lie every time. "I'm fine, really." I would say, but I'm not fine. I will never be fine. No one in this world will ever truly be fine.

The cold stings my cheeks and I know it is time to go. I lift the scarf up to my head again and wrapped it around and around, slowly hiding my hair beneath it once more. Each time it goes around a little more of it disappears and soon it is completely hidden.

A gust of cold air pushes me from my spot in front of my door. My feet push through the snow as I walk down the street. It's getting late and the sun is beginning to drop beneath the horizon. It was a beautiful sight with all the colours that it splashed across the skies. There were oranges, yellows, and reds. They were warm colours on this cold winter night.

Soon enough I was standing outside the familiar door of a friend. We hadn't visited in some time and out of the blue he invited us over again. Hunith hadn't met them yet. She and the others are already inside waiting for me. She still doesn't know about the incident with the forest fire and it was going to stay that way.

I raze my hand to knock on the door and announce my arrival but I hesitate. Why would I do that? Maybe all my thoughts were just getting to me. I wasn't going to let my lost emotions ruin this night.

My knuckles connected with the cold wood of the door, sending the sound echoing through the house on the other side. After a moment I hear someone make there way towards the door. Then he opened it and let me inside.

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	15. The Violin and a Promise Kept

**Sorry its been a while so here's a longer chapter for you.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**I hope you enjoy it.**

The Violin and a Promise Kept

The mother I came to know when I was fourteen told me stories. I could barely remember anything about my past. All I ever got were images, overwhelming emotions, and voices saying words I did not recognize. They were only vague memories that I couldn't grasp. They were the only things I had that linked me to the past that I couldn't remember and I wouldn't give them up for the world.

The mother I knew told me wondrous stories that grabbed my imagination. When they first found me I could barely form a sentence. The stories she told me taught me so many things. All the lessons a child learns so that one-day they can do great things were imbedded in those stories. The tales told of heroes who made the right decision and saved the day. The characters may have only been fictional but to me they were real. When I went to bed at night I would meet them in my dreams. I wanted to be like them. Their lives were so clear and they always knew what the right thing to do was.

It wasn't until I left the only home I had ever known that I realized all those stories were lies. There would always be a right and a wrong decision but finding the right one could sometimes be impossible. It's different for each person. A decision may be right for one person but wrong for the other. And the crazy thing was that you would never know if you did the right thing until it was too late. You can look back and wish you had done things differently but the truth is you can't.

When the purge began I was pulled into a whole new story where the villains were real and the heroes rarely won. Sometimes the heroes didn't look like heroes at all, at least, not on the outside.

The king ordered the destruction of anyone who might use magic. But his madness and loss drove him to not only destroy them but all those who came in contact with them. It wasn't only the witches and wizards who feared for their lives but everyone else as well.

You can walk down the same street every day, see the same faces and have the same conversations. Then one day will come along where all of that changes. That street you always walked down is disserted. Those familiar faces have all but disappeared, and you're too afraid to say a word to anyone incase that one contact could mean the end of your life as you know it.

That brings us to my story. You've followed me so far on this adventure but it isn't over yet. I can tell you now that there will not be a happy ending. You may think to yourself that if you walked along side me we could change the world together. There is nothing I want more then that but we can't. It isn't that simple. One day this world may change but many will be lost along the way. Will we be among them?

So far I've told you that life isn't easy and that the world can be a very dark and dangerous place. Now I remind you that within these dark times we can always find that moment where we can laugh and smile again, even if we do it in secret.

It was Olwen's idea. There was no particular reason for us all to get together but Olwen thought it was about time that we did. The last time we had was for Fionn's birthday and we had gained a few new members since then.

How long has it been, since the purge began? Over two years I suppose. It seems like longer.

Narayan led me to the trap door in the back room hidden under the carpet. The door looked like nothing but floorboards but we knew it was more then that. Narayan pried it open and we both hopped down, closing it carefully behind us.

The basement was small and filled with candles. It looked exactly the same as the last time we had all gathered here. We had been so happy then. Just for that one night we got to forget the tragedy going on around us. We took hold of that moment and let it take us.

It was strangely silent down here as I looked around. Then I was tackled from behind, almost falling flat on my face. I gasped as the air was pushed from my lungs when I hit the ground. I just managed to turn my head to the side to see who was so heavy. But it wasn't one person.

"Dog pile!" That was all I heard before the weight on my back increased. I heard laughter and I couldn't help but join in.

Narendra, who was holding Merlin, and Narayan hadn't joined in but they were still laughing at the sight of the rest of us in a pile on the ground with me on the bottom. Holt had been the first to tackle me and then Fionn jumped on him and the rest followed. It was Hunith that I had heard shouting and she was the last to join the pile.

"All right guys." I managed to get out between laughs. "It's getting harder to breath down here.

"It's about time you got here." Olwen noted as the rest of them rolled off of me and I could finally get to my feet, brushing myself off.

"What took you so long?" Aida asked.

"I was thinking." I explained.

"Thinking about what?" Jasper came to stand by Aida.

"The past, I guess." I tried to wave away their questions.

When I mentioned the past I saw Hunith tense up. She had always suspected that there was something more to my story before we had met but I had never told her because I didn't know myself. Hunith was my best friend and I had never told her my greatest secret and I don't know why. All I knew was that I couldn't tell her.

"Well now that you are here lets get this party started." Olwen said, rubbing her hands together. I could see sparks jumping between her hands as she rubbed them together.

"Speaking of which. I found something interesting while I was away." Holt took out a strange parcel and unwrapped it to reveal a strange wooden carving. "It was given to me as a thank you for helping a few people. They say that it's a musical instrument but I've never seen anything like it."

My eyes widened at the sight of the musical instrument. Something was nagging at the back of my mind as if I had seen it somewhere before. It seemed nostalgic. I had to hold it.

"May I see it Holt?" I asked, not giving away the struggle going on inside me to remember this strange instrument and its beautiful sound. I had never heard it make music before but somehow I knew that when I played it the music would be beautiful.

What did this instrument mean to me? I felt its smooth wood under my fingertips as Holt handed it to me. I almost gasped, as something inside me seemed to click.

"A violin." I remembered the name.

"You've seen one of these before?" Holt asked.

"I think so." My eyes became distant as something in my mind began to flow and I knew. "It was a long time ago."

"Can you play it?" Aida stepped forward, curious.

"Maybe." I turned over the violin in my hands. Something was missing. "Is there a bow?"

"Oh, you mean that long stick thing?" Holt pulled out a long wooden stick with horsehairs attached to it from the wrappings.

I took it from him gently. With the neck of the violin in my left hand I placed the other end under my chin and let the hairs of the bow run across the strings. The sound silenced everyone in the room. Even Merlin didn't make a sound. I just played one note but it was like a symphony of sounds. As I played that single note a flurry of images passed through my mind.

There was a fire in the center of a bunch of tents. People in colourful clothing were dancing around the flames with smiles on their faces. They seemed so happy while the music played. Where was I? Sitting on the side lines as always I suppose until a young girl with colourful ribbons woven into her long brown hair came up to me. She stretched out her hand to me and I took it.

The girl pulled me too my feet and dragged me towards the other dancers. They all smiled at me, waving for me to join in. I hesitated but the girl didn't let go of my hand. She began to dance; the colours in her hair reflected the light of the fire. The music was all around us and I couldn't help myself. I began to dance as well. Our skirts flapped around our legs as we span around the fire with the others. The girl laughed and called out someone's name but I couldn't hear it.

A young boy, the same age as the girl, came running up to us. He took both the girl's hand and mine. We spun around together in a circle laughing and dancing to the music. Something about these two was special to me. I could almost remember their names.

We broke from our small circle and joined the others in a larger circle that wrapped around the fire in the center. I could hear an old man laughing next to the musicians as he watched the young ones dance. He had been around for so long and had seen so many things. Now it was the young ones turn and he was happy watching us grow.

I could hear the violin among the other musicians as it sped up causing the dancers to do the same. The violinist was challenging us. Could we keep up with his playing? My feet began to hurt with the speed they were moving at but I didn't stop, none of us stopped. It was too much fun and I thought I would die of laughter but then the music stopped suddenly before the piece was over.

The smiles disappeared and were replaced with looks of horror. The tents were on fire and it was spreading, trapping us on the inside. The girl and the boy stayed close to me and we held onto each other so as not to be separated. Cloaked figures stepped through the flames as if they were nothing. I could hear people screaming as they looked for a way out.

The old man got to his feet and moved towards us. He wrapped his large coat around us as if to protect us from these outsiders who had intruded on our festival. He ushered us towards the edge of the camp where the fire had not gone yet, trying to keep us out of sight. He moved quite quickly for his age. I almost tripped but the boy and the girl had hold of my arms and kept me up.

We were so close to the darkness of the forest that we could conceal ourselves in but then the old man fell. We stopped to help him and that's when we saw the arrow sticking out of his back.

"Go!" He yelled in his gravely voice. "Run!"

So we ran. I would always regret leaving him there but there was nothing we could do. The three of us ran on, disappearing into the forest. I would never see those people again.

How old was I when this happened? Thirteen, the number came floating into my mind. It was a year before I washed up on shore with no memory of these events. That was six years ago now. It was the last time I was truly happy before it all came crashing down.

The boy and girl that I ran with were so dear to me. What were their names? Yes, I know them now. The girl was Nadira, it meant precious and she was so precious to me. The boy was Edwin, it meant prosperous friend and we were the best of friends.

All of these memories ran through my mind as I played that single note on the violin. When I reached the end of the bow I stopped and the memories ended. I stumbled. Hunith caught me by the arm.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. It was just so beautiful." There were tears in my eyes.

"Will you play more for us Joone?" Fionn asked me. "Something we could dance to."

I knew just the song. I put the bow to the strings and let the music run from my fingers. The music echoed, filling the room with sound. I played the song the violinist played on that last night. The one we had danced to. It felt right to play it.

Not a word was said as the others began to dance. They let the music guide their movements as they moved across the floor. Olwen had her eyes closed, focusing only on the music. Somehow she weaved around everyone else without even looking. Her movements were so fluid and strong. I couldn't help but watch her.

Narendra and Narayan didn't move as fluidly as Olwen. Their movements were stiffer. Narendra bounced Merlin up and down on his knee, making the boy giggle.

I tapped my foot to the music and moved with the violin. As the music began to speed up smiles came to their faces. Hunith took Jasper to the side and whispered something in his ear. He smiled and nodded.

He went up to Fionn who was dancing alone near the edge of the group. He took her hand and began to dance with her. Hunith went up to Holt and pulled him into the dance as well.

Narayan banged his hand on the seat of his chair like a drum, keeping in time with the beat of my music, which began to speed up even more.

Hunith and Jasper danced with their partners, getting closer and closer together. Then suddenly they spun and switched partners, forcing Holt and Fionn to dance together. They didn't complain. Their feet tried to keep up with the music that burst from the violin. Fionn laughed as they both watched their feet to see how fast they could go. The locket we had given her bounced around her neck.

Hunith danced with Jasper across the room to where Aida was dancing. She spun and reached for Aida's arm, pulling her in. She spun out, leaving Aida to dance with Jasper. I smiled, seeing that Hunith had planned it all from the start. She was a sly one.

Narendra took Merlin's small hands and clapped them together in time with the music. His foot had begun to tap as well along with Narayan's and mine. It was almost impossible to resist the urge. We did not resist, letting the music take hold of us.

Olwen spun and her skirts spun with her. It reminded me of spinning with Nadira that day. While Olwen was spinning she took Hunith's hand and they span around together.

The music began to speed up and so did the feet of the dancers. They smiled and laughed at the impossible speed but still they danced. I could see a few of them beginning to pant.

So then, with a flourish of the bow, I ended the peace, freeing them from the dance. They all fell to the floor exhausted but happy.

"That was beautiful Joone." Hunith came over and complimented me. "I never knew you could play. Where did you learn?"

I didn't know the answer to this question but then again I did. "I watched someone else playing but their fingers could move so much faster then mine. I couldn't play half the speed they had been playing at."

Hunith accepted the answer but still looked impressed. "Would you play another one for us?"

The others sat down in chairs that had been pushed against the walls to make room for the dancing. So I decided to play a slower piece, one they didn't have to dance to.

Once again I placed the bow to the strings and began to play for them. This song was mysterious and I couldn't remember where I heard it. The others began to clap as I played, entranced by the sound of the violin.

I closed my eyes and let the music flow and I was swept back in time once more. This time I was sitting on a stool outside one of the tents sewing two large pieces of fabric together that were to be used to make another tent. This was before the night when the tents burned. The one I sewed would be burned as well.

A sound came over the tops of the tents, making me look up from my work. Someone was playing the violin. The music came closer and closer until a man with long curly hair came out from in between two of the tents, violin in hand. He didn't seem to be playing to anyone in particular.

He saw me looking and smiled, stopping. There was no one else around but he didn't care. He played on as I watched, his body bent and swayed to the tune. His hair whipped around his head as the song became more violent. He banged the hairs of the bow against the string to make a different sort of sound.

My eyes were wide as I watched him. From that day forward I would dream of someday playing as he had.

I asked him later why he was playing and he said to me, "You do not need an audience to play music. All you need is the perfect moment and then just let the music go. Music cannot be controlled. You must let it run wild."

I strummed my fingers across the strings. Then the music faded away and the room grew quiet once more. Everyone was silent.

Merlin broke the silence when he began to clap his hands together as if I were still playing. The others joined in and I bowed.

The rest of the night was rather simple after that. We talked and told stories about the time we had spent apart. Narendra handed Merlin to me, exhaustion written all over his face. Merlin reminded him of his own children when they had been small. It also reminded him of how tiring they had been.

I wrapped my arms around Merlin as he sat on my lap. The others were absorbed in conversation so I bent my head and whispered in Merlin's ear so no one else could hear. These words were for him and him alone.

"Watch them smile Merlin, my little bird. Watch them laugh tonight. The world is a dangerous place sometimes and life can grow difficult." I told him the truth. "Whenever you find yourself slipping into darkness just think back to this moment and remember their smiles and the way they laughed. Remember how happy we were tonight, because there will always be these moments. They may be rare but that just makes them more special."

I could feel Merlin's head beginning to bob. He was falling asleep. I didn't have much time. I tightened my arms around him, feeling his warmth. He was so innocent. It was hard to believe he had such a great destiny. It was so big for such a small person. I moved my lips closer to his small ear so he could hear me.

"Would you remember us if I asked Merlin?" Sometimes the greatest fear in the world is to be forgotten. "There may come a day when some of us aren't around anymore but you'll still have this memory. We will always be with you though thick and thin. Remember that Merlin. We'll be right here, always." I pointed to his heart.

Merlin closed his eyes and fell asleep that night will a small smile on his face. "You may go away." I kept speaking even though he could no longer hear me. "But we will meet again. Someday."

It was only when Fionn began to yawn that Holt suggested we call it a night. "We'll do this again though." He said, smiling.

I handed Merlin, still asleep, to Hunith. She smiled down at him and brushed some of his dark hair out of his face. We said our goodbyes and left Narayan's house with happy hearts.

Aida came up beside me and took hold of my hand. It was warm and it made me smile. Jasper was walking with Hunith, talking quietly. I saw him glance our way a few times and I knew he was looking at Aida.

"Sorry you didn't get to dance Joone." Aida said, looking ahead.

"That's alright. I enjoyed playing the violin." And I had.

"When we go back you'll get to play again." Aida smiled. We had left the violin at Narayan's, not wanting to take it out into the cold. "The music you played was so beautiful. I'd like to hear it again…" Then she stopped, pulling on my hand to stop too.

I followed her gaze to a dark figure standing in the darkness between two houses. I frowned, trying to see his face. He saw us and stepped into the light of the moon. I gasped.

"Magnus!" Aida almost yelled, letting go of my hand and running towards the man. She threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. He hugged her back. Aida hadn't known him long but he was like an old friend.

"You've grown." He said brushing her hair back from her face. "And your hair's gotten longer."

She let got of him, smiling and turning back to us. "Joone, it's Magnus." She said as if I hadn't noticed yet.

Magnus looked my way and our eyes connected. His eyes widened as if seeing me for the first time.

"So that's Magnus." Hunith whispered behind me. "He is rather handsome." Of course I had told Hunith about Magnus.

Jasper noticed the way Magnus and I were looking at each other. Quickly he ran over and grabbed Aida's hand, pulling her down the street and towards the house. Hunith followed close behind, understanding what he was doing.

"We should leave them alone." He explained. "It looks like they have some catching up to do."

They disappeared down the street and I was left alone with Magnus. We were still looking at each other. Who would move first?

"Hello Redwing." Those were the first words he said to me.

I wanted to get angry with him. I wanted to yell at him about being away for so long. Two years it had been since he left. I wanted to hit him for making me worried, but I didn't do any of that. Instead I lifted my skirts and ran, stumbling, through the snow towards him. I fell into his arms with tears in my eyes. He held me close and I never wanted him to let go.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I didn't mean to be away so long."

"You kept your promise." I looked up at him. "You promised to come back to us and you have. That's all that matters."

"I missed you." He looked deep into my eyes. "I thought of you every single day, wondering if you were still waiting for me."

"Of course I was waiting. I would have waited forever." I smiled. "I was thinking of you as well."

"You look so beautiful." He said, placing one of his hands against my cheek. "Even more then the last time I saw you."

He was making me blush. "Well you on the other hand haven't changed at all."

"Hey." He laughed. "I like to think I've become stronger and maybe better looking."

We both laughed at that. "We were out dancing at Narayan's. I wish you could have been there."

Magnus stepped away from me then reached out his hand. "May I have this dance?"

I smiled and took his hand. There was no music but it didn't matter. He was here and I was here and we were dancing together. So I got my dance after all, and it was perfect. I wish it could have lasted forever.

"I can't stay." Magnus said as we swayed back and forth in each other's arms.

"I know." But I didn't want him to go, not yet. "Just a little longer."

So we danced until the snow fell. "I'll see you again." He said pulling away.

"Soon." I smiled up at him. "You still promise to come back to me?"

"Always." He said, and then wrapped his cloak further around him to keep out the cold. Before he left he lent down and kissed me.

I watched him leave again and I knew I would see him soon.

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW! **

**If you want to know what the music sounded like I was listening to Sherlock Holmes Game of Shadows - Romanian Wind for the first song. The second song was from the Red Violin soundtrack, it was the gypsy song.**

**I'm having trouble with this story because not a lot of people are supporting it. Please help me and REVIEW.**

**Hope you keep following and see you next time.**


	16. I Don't Deserve Their Kindness

**Lately it seems impossible for me to write a short chapter.**

**If you have been following so far thank you.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

I Don't Deserve Their Kindness

I've known Magnus for pretty much three years. I only have six years of complete memory and he has occupied half of that. He did disappear for two however but I never forgot him.

This is what I think of now as I sit on a fence in the field close to the forest, but I am not alone. He wears his hood up incase anyone walks by and recognizes him but there's no one else other then us here on this beautiful morning. The snow has all melted now and the cows are grazing in the field behind us. I can see flowers beginning to pop up with their vibrant colours.

This has been our meeting spot for the last few months. He comes back more often now to see me and to hear how everyone is doing. Every morning I check the windowsill of my bedroom, which looks out behind my house where I can see the fields. If I find a small black feather under a rock, so it will not blow away, then I know that he's here and I go straight away to this spot on the fence to meet him.

It's always early morning when we come here to talk so no one else is awake yet. I've told him about everything that's happened since he was away. I told him about Hunith and Merlin. I even told him about his great destiny. I told the story of how Holt brought Jasper to us and how it reminded me of when he brought Aida to my door in the rain.

The one thing I didn't mention were the flashes of memory I had been having. I hadn't told anyone about them and I didn't plan to. Magnus didn't know about my mysterious past and I find it curious that he's never asked. I could be a murderer before I met him for all he knew. He respected me and never pried. I liked that about him. He knew the importance of keeping secrets.

We had our own little secret after all. I found the little black feather under a small rock on the windowsill early this morning. I pushed it into my pocket, wrapped my jacket around me and snuck quietly out of the house, carful not to wake Hunith and Merlin in the room next to mine.

My feet sped across the green grass wet with fresh dew. My leather boots were worn so my feet inside would become wet quite easily but it didn't matter to me that morning as I sped towards our meeting place. I saw him there, sitting with his back to me on the fence. I snuck up behind him.

"Good morning Blackbird." I startled him off the fence. He spun around to see me laughing and twirling the small black feather in my right hand.

"Don't do that." Magnus put his hand over his heart as if he were going to have a heart attack. "You know I'm always on edge."

"And yet you still risk coming back here to see me." I handed him the feather and he slipped it into his pocket.

"Beautiful morning isn't it?" He got back onto the fence and helped me up as well.

"Yes, very." I looked around at our surroundings. It was so peaceful that morning.

"So how've you been?" He asked me the same thing every time.

"Same as usual. Nothing very exciting has happened." I thought about the time we had spent apart this time, trying to find something to tell him. "Oh, Jasper broke his arm the other day."

"Is he ok?" Magnus didn't know Jasper except for what I had told him but he was one of us so he was family. Magnus cared about family.

"I've had to put it in a sling, but it'll heal." I told him.

"How on earth did he manage it?" He wondered.

"I honestly don't know the details myself. It was on one of their many secret excursions, him and Aida I mean." I explained. "I'm quite sure it had something to do with a falling tree. Aida tells me that he save her life."

"Really Joone, I don't understand why you even let them out of your attic."

"Because, Magnus, they're teenagers and you can't expect them to stay up in a cramped attic for the rest of their lives do you." I looked off into the distance where the sun was rising. "They need their freedom. We all do. Don't worry I gave them a serious talking to after I had taken a look at his arm."

"You know you sound like their mother." He noticed.

"Do I?" I had never really thought about it.

"They're lucky to have you." He got a far off look in his eye.

"You're thinking of your father aren't you?" He hadn't told me much but I knew that his father was missing and that he used to practice magic. His name was Felix Fedele. Maybe that's why Magnus is so set on saving those with magic.

"I just wish I knew where he was." He almost whispered.

"You've been looking for him haven't you?" Magnus had been searching for a safe place so we could move everyone with magic out of the town to somewhere they didn't have to hide. If he could just get them that little bit of freedom that would be enough for now.

"I've heard rumors but they've all led to dead ends. I'm thinking of giving up on him." He lowered his head.

"Don't you say that." I said sternly. "Your father is out there and you will find him one day. You've never been one to give up so don't start now. There are people relying one you."

"It's a lot of pressure." He admitted. "What if I fail? What if I can't save them all?"

"You're just one person. Don't think about saving everyone yet. Just focus on the few for now. If you can save them then you'll be a hero." I tried to boost his self-esteem.

"But what if I can't?" He looked lost.

"I met a boy who thought he could fly once." He looked up slightly to meet my eyes. "He climbed up onto the roof, took a running jump and fell. Do you know what happened to him when he fell?"

"What happened?" Magnus knew the ending to this story but he wanted to hear what I said next.

"He landed on a girl who was walking by, nearly crushed her." He laughed slightly at that. "He never gave up on his dream of flying though. So he built his own wings and became a bird. I've seen him fly. As long as he believes in himself I know he can do anything."

"What happened to the girl that he fell on?"

"She gave him a stern talking to." That made him smile. "And she has never left his side since."

"Kind of a strange way to finally pluck up the courage to talk to a girl right."

"I always thought it was rather perfect. I had been here for three days and on the third a boy decides to fall out of the sky right on top of me." It was the way we had met.

"Oh so the girl was you?" He joked and got a punch in the arm from me for it.

"I've got nothing but trouble from you since that day. First you almost crush me then you decide to drag me on this wild adventure of yours."

"Well the boy didn't want to leave the girl behind after that. He liked to think that it was his job to protect her."

"Trying to make up for almost doing her in himself was he?" I laughed.

"I'm glad you came with me though." The smile disappeared from his face. "But I might have put you in more trouble. I was supposed to protect you and I've gotten you into this mess."

"I wouldn't give up this mess for the world." I admitted. A small smile returned to his face.

"So I haven't completely ruined your life."

"My life would have been boring if you hadn't gotten me into the organization. I don't think I would be able to take being left on the sidelines." I swung my legs off the edge of the fence. "You made my life an adventure."

"But you would have been safe." He explained.

"I'm just as safe as I was before we met." I don't really know why I said that. Was it true? "I've lost people before and I couldn't do anything about it. You gave me a chance to do something. Thank you."

We were both silent for a moment. Magnus pondered what I had just said. He knew I might have been referring to my mysterious past. The words I had spoken seemed to have come from nowhere. Who had I lost? Was it the people in the camp on fire or were there others?

A shot of pain ran through my head. I gasped and my hand flew to my head hoping to stop the searing pain.

"Are you alright?" He sounded worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine." But my words didn't sound sincere. The pain disappeared and I let out a breath of relief. "So where are you going this time?"

"I've gotten some information from a reliable source about a camp somewhere in the forest close to the border where they can be safe." He was still looking at me warily as if I might collapse any minute. "I'm going to try and find it."

"How long will you be?" I lowered my head. This part was always hard, finding out how long it would be before I could see him again.

"A few months, maybe more, maybe less." He wasn't quite certain.

"The others are going to be waking up soon." I noticed that the sun had risen higher in the sky. How long had we been talking for? "I should go back."

"Yeah." He hopped down off the fence and turned around to help me but instead I leaned down and kissed him. He seemed startled so I hopped down myself.

"Something to remember me by." I used the words he had when he first said goodbye.

"How could I ever forget you Redwing." And he used mine.

He watched me go this time. I lifted my skirt so I wouldn't trip over it and ran back to the house. I looked back several times to see him standing there. The last time I looked back he was gone. I stopped and searched for him in the distance but he was gone.

When I got back inside the house I could smell food cooking in the kitchen. I tried to sneak by but I could hear their footsteps behind me.

"Have a nice time?" Hunith asked. I turned around slowly, afraid that she might be angry, but she was smiling. Merlin was crawling around on the floor next to her.

"How long have you known?" I asked.

"For a while. Is he doing fine?"

"Yeah, but I won't see him for a while now. He's following a lead and it's going to be long before he gets back." I explained.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Want to come help me with breakfast?"

"Sure." I followed her into the kitchen. It was a simple mix of wheat and some fruit. When we were done I took two bowls up to the sleepy heads upstairs. When I got up there though they were wide-awake. The smell of the food had woken them up. They were growing teenagers. What was I supposed to expect?

"It smells really good this morning." Aida noted. Jasper nodded in agreement.

The fire was going when I got back downstairs so I decided to dry off my feet, which were still a little wet from running through the dew. From my spot in front of the fire I could hear Hunith cleaning. I didn't notice Merlin crawl in until I felt his small hand on my arm. I jumped, startled, but he only smiled at me, not saying a word.

"What are you doing out here?" I looked back at the door to the kitchen. Did Hunith not notice that he was gone? Well at least he hadn't somehow wandered out of the house. I looked back to see him staring intently into the fire as if he wanted to reach out and touch it. To stop him from acting on any crazy ideas floating around in his head, I lifted him into my lap. He didn't complain, but still didn't take his eyes off the fire. Did he remember our little outing to the woods that ended in flames?

"What's so interesting?" I followed his gaze, trying to understand. "What do you see?"

Suddenly the fire seemed to leap out of the hearth and straight at us. I shrieked and pulled Merlin away quickly before the flames could lick our skin. The fire reseeded back into the hearth as quickly as it had come. I looked down at Merlin who didn't seem to understand what was wrong or why I had seemed so scared.

"Merlin, did you do that?" I pointed at the flames. Merlin looked at me, smiled, and nodded. I was amazed and terrified at the same time. He hadn't even said a word. This was the first time I'd gotten a glimpse of the power he held with in and I didn't know what to think. Should I be grateful that he was powerful and learning fast or should I be frightened at the ferocity of it? But I couldn't blame Merlin; he was only a baby and didn't understand the dangers quite yet.

I looked into his eyes and spoke as clearly as I could, "You mustn't do things like that Merlin." I tried to explain in words he would understand. "You must be careful or else people could get hurt."

I didn't know if Merlin could understand me but the smile disappeared from his face. "You're special Merlin and you have been gifted with magic. In the future I hope you will learn to us it sensibly. This isn't a game." Merlin looked up at me intently as if he could understand every word I had said. "You will have to learn the rules. I'm sorry that this time isn't the best for learning magic my little bird. Its dangerous and you must keep your magic secret. There are people out there depending on you, like Aida and Jasper, to one day free us from these dark times. So you must be extra carful. Do you understand?"

I doubted that he would understand completely the message I was trying to give him but I could almost swear that he had nodded in reply. There was something different about Merlin. Perhaps it was because he was meant for such a large destiny.

"Oh Merlin." I patted his head. "You don't know how special you are. Out of all of us you will be the one they remember. I wish I could be there with you every step of the way but there are some things you have to do on your own. You must learn from your own mistakes."

Merlin was calm and quiet. He blinked several times and I saw his eyes flash gold for a second. It was a beautiful colour, the gold. It signified the power within him. I felt something move on the op of my head. I reached up and realized what Merlin had done. With his magic he had undone the fabric I usually wore around my head. It fell open so that it was just lying on top of my head. If anyone had walked in then they wouldn't have been able to see my hair from the back but there was one person who could see and he was staring up at me with his wide curious eyes.

No one had seen my hair for a very long time. Merlin reached up with his small hands and grabbed a lock of it in between his chubby fingers. He pulled on it lightly so it didn't hurt. I'd forgotten the feeling of someone pulling on my hair.

"It seems we both have secrets we have to keep." I noticed. "At least you know what yours is. I've never told anyone this but I have no memory from before I was fourteen years old. I washed up on shore with no memory. Can you imagine that? I do get glimpses of it sometimes, the time before that is. I still don't understand what happened but it was dangerous."

I went silent but Merlin was still looking at me expectantly as if he expected me to continue. He tugged on my hair again, a little harder this time. Was he trying to ask a question?

"Oh, you want to know about my hair and why it looks this way. I'd tell you if only I knew myself." I got a far away look in my eye as something in my mind pushed to get out. "It's a symbol I suppose. It marks me for what I really am. So everyone knows what I am, like a curse. I was afraid, so afraid of the others. They looked at me and didn't like what they saw, because I am…" Then I snapped out of my daze and remembered nothing more.

What was I? Who were the others? Did I really want to remember?

"Merlin?" I heard Hunith calling from the kitchen, just noticing his absence. "Merlin?"

Quickly I tied the fabric like a bandanna, stuffing my hair underneath and tucking in the pointed end at the back so my hair wouldn't fall out. I heard her steps approaching.

"Mer…" She walked into the room. "Oh. Joone you should have told me he was here and keep him away from that fire, its dangerous."

"Sorry Hunith." I said, standing up with Merlin in my arms. "We were just talking."

"Talking?" Hunith wondered as she took Merlin from my arms, but before she could pursue the question I disappeared into my room.

I shut the door behind me and slid down it, putting my face into my hands. So many questions were buzzing around my head. Slowly I got up and walked towards the small cracked mirror that hung on my wall. I looked over my shoulder at the door, listening to make sure no one was going to come in. Then I looked back at the mirror, seeing my reflection there. I reached up to take the fabric off my head but before my hand could reach it the searing pain attacked my head again.

I clutched my head and fell to my knees. It was much more intense then it had been before. There was ringing in my ears as if someone was screaming. The screaming was emanating from somewhere close by. I turned around and tried to find where it was coming from. Under the screaming I could almost make out words.

I tried to make my way towards the door to get away from whatever it was but as I passed my bed it became almost intolerable. I couldn't move any further. It was most intense here. I peered under the bed. The three boxes were still there. I reached under; my fingers found the smallest one first. As I touched it a shock ran up my arm and it felt like being pricked by a hundred thistles.

A sudden relief ran through me, and the pain stopped, but I could still hear quiet whispering as if it were coming from inside the box. I reached down and slowly, carefully, lifted the lid and looked inside. My eyes widened. There, sitting on the bottom of the box, was a small crystal that seemed to glow on the end of a silver chain. I had never seen it before but somehow it was in one of my boxes.

The crystal was small but the strange whispering sounds were coming from it. I had to know. So I went to touch it. My fingers slid over the surface of the crystal and I lifted it gently from the box. Suddenly sound and pictures bombarded my mind. I was rushed by such emotions that I felt like I was going to explode. Everything seemed to be happening at once.

Then I knew. This necklace was a peace of my past. Somehow it was the reason for so many of my problems. I had stolen it. Right then I knew that I had stolen it and someone wanted it back, someone dangerous. I saw tragedy and loss. They were my memories. I knew they were. It was all from before I had fallen into the sea and forgotten everything. This was what those people wanted but I couldn't let them have it. Why?

My past was darker then I had ever realized. I had wondered for so long about what had happened but I didn't like what I had found. I was running. I was always running, only finding happiness to have it ripped away from me. Would my happiness now be taken away from me like before?

I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want these memories and I didn't want this past. The person whose memories these were couldn't be me. That girl couldn't be me. I wouldn't accept it, but somehow I knew that I wouldn't have a choice.

The necklace seemed to scream at me, "Remember!"

I let out a horrific scream and threw the necklace back into the box, kicking it with my foot so it would slide under the bed. I didn't want to see it. My hands covered my ears and there were tears running down my cheeks. I backed up, only stopping when I hit the wall.

My scream had been loud enough for others to hear and I could hear their footsteps running towards me. Someone flung open my door and Hunith was the first person to enter, Merlin was crawling at her feet. She looked around and her eyes fell on my pitiful shaking form. I felt her warm arms wrap themselves around me.

"What is it? What happened?" I heard other voices ask as two other people entered the room. Aida knelt down in front of me. I tried to hide my face. I didn't want her to see me like this. Jasper appeared on my other side with wide concerned eyes, his arm in a sling.

"Joone, are you alright?" He spoke calmly and gently put his hand on my shoulder. It was the second time someone had asked me that today. But I wasn't all right and would never be all right again.

Their faces seemed to blur before me. Hunith felt me sway and tightened her grip on me. Their voices faded next and I felt myself slowly slip into darkness. They never left my side and I would always remember their worried faces looking down at me because they cared, but now I had to remember another life when people didn't care.

They were so kind to me.

But I didn't deserve it.

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW! (I'm bagging here)**

**I'm going back to school tomorrow so I won't be able to update very often.**

**I haven't been consistent with this story because I kind of got sucked into writing my other one "Buried". You guys should check it out.**

**Hope you keep following because she is beginning to remember.**

**See you next time.**


	17. Human

**Here's the next chapter.**

**Thanks to all the people who actually read this story.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Human

Why in my dreams am I always running, but this wasn't any dream was it. It was a nightmare and it was real. I can still remember the pain I felt in my legs as I forced them to move faster across the cold hard earth. A boy was running, not to far ahead. Edwin. He'd look back sometimes to make sure we were still there. Then I looked to my left and saw a girl, her hair flying wildly and her grey eyes full of fear. Nadira.

Suddenly she cried out and fell. We couldn't afford to stop but we couldn't leave her. Edwin and I rushed to her side. There was an arrow sticking out of her right ankle. It had gone all the way through to the other side and it looked unbearable.

"It doesn't look too bad." I went to try and pull it out but something shocked me, forcing me to pull back my hand.

"What is it?" Edwin asked in concern.

"Nothing." I lied. "Nadira bite this." I handed her a stick and she put it between her teeth. "I'm sorry but this is going to hurt." I snapped off the end of the arrow and then quickly pulled out the other side. She gasped.

"See, not so bad." I said, ripping a strip of fabric from my skirt and tying it around her ankle. "Can you stand?"

Nadira gasped at the pain but tried to push it away as she attempted to stand. Her ankle immediately buckled under her.

"I can't." She cried.

"Come on. I'll help you." I could hear yells in the distance, whoever shot her was getting closer.

"No." She pushed my hand away. "Just go. I'll only slow you down."

"We'd never leave you." Edwin argued. "How could you even ask that of us?"

"I won't be the cause of your death Edwin, or you Joone. You both mean too much to me. We don't all have to die."

"None of us have to die." I yelled and knelt down with my back to Nadira. "Get on."

"What?"

"I said get on. I'm carrying you." I explained. "And don't you even think of saying no. We are in this together, until the end."

Nadira nodded and Edwin helped her onto my back. She was lighter then I thought she'd be and it worried me. None of us had eaten properly for days now and I didn't know when we'd get to eat again. Even sleep didn't seem like a possibility.

Edwin ran along side us this time, watching Nadira and making sure she didn't fall off. I tightened my grip on her as I felt her loosen hers. Her chin rested on my shoulder. The wound was already taking its toll.

"You stay with me, Nadira." I called back to her.

"I just feel so tired." She whispered in my ear.

"Don't give into it." I ordered. "We need you."

"What?"

"You heard her." Edwin spoke beside us. "We can't do this without you."

I felt my shoulder grow wet as Nadira cried her silent tears. Sometimes we wait all our lives for someone to tell us that they need us. Having someone that needs you gives you the will to go on, for them.

"I need both of you too." Her voice was quiet but we heard her. I almost smiled but then I heard large crashes from behind us. They were getting closer.

We moved slower now and that wasn't good. If we were going to survive this we had to be smart and fast. My heart fell though and dread flooded me. Even if we did manage to loose our pursuers one of us wasn't going to make it out of this forest. At least not as themselves.

"Joone." Nadira whispered in my ear. "I'm scared."

"It's good to be scared." I told her. "We all are. Sometimes being scared can save you. Being scared is human. Don't forget who you are."

"I don't understand."

"You are Nadira Singh. You are best friends with Joone Tellar and Edwin Clester. You love to dance and smile. Secretly you fancy Edwin." I could almost hear her blush but I spoke softly so he couldn't hear us. "You taught me to sing and showed me how it felt to be loved. Sometimes I think you care too much about people but that's what makes you Nadira. We've done some pretty stupid things together but we've always been all right. I don't want any of that to change. You are Nadira and nobody else. And you're human."

"Joone, why are you telling me this?" I could hear fear in her voice.

"Keeping on feeling Nadira, don't give into it."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about. I know you can feel yourself changing. You have to fight it."

"This feeling, it's so strange. It's taking away my fear Joone. Isn't that good?"

"No. It's taking away who you are. You can feel yourself forgetting." I tried to keep her here. "I know you can."

"What's happening to me?" I could feel her tears hit my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't take the arrow out in time." I felt like my heart was going to break in two. "It was on the arrowhead and now it's inside you. It's a kind of poison that slowly takes away everything that makes you human. That's why you have to fight."

"How?" She asked, afraid.

"Think of Edwin." I told her. "Think of all the good times we had together. Remember how it felt to be happy. Remember how it feels to love someone. You're crying because you're scared. Scared is human."

"Maybe it would be better just to forget." Her voice changed. She didn't seem scared anymore. She sounded calm.

"No. You have to stay with us. You are Nadira and I don't want you to forget. Please."

"Put me down."

"What?"

"I said put me down." She pushed herself off my back and we stopped. Edwin looked confused between us.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"We don't need to run." Nadira said, almost smiling.

"Of course we do." Edwin said looking to me. I was silent and I stared at the ground. Then I looked up.

"The arrowhead was poisoned." I explained to him. "It's changing her, making her one of them. A monster. Morphed by a greed for power. Right now we aren't exactly powerful. But they are. She'll want to join them now."

"No." Edwin couldn't believe it. He looked back to Nadira; a cruel smile had made its way onto her face. "Nadira?"

"Who's that?" She tilted her head. Our eyes widened in shock.

"You, you are Nadira!" Edwin yelled. "Our best friend."

"Friends?" She spoke the word as if it were vile and disgusting. "I don't need friends. They do nothing but hold you back. They make you care and get you killed."

It was as if Nadira was still somewhere in there but using this girl's mouth to talk. Anyone else would have missed it but I understood the secret message. She was telling us to run and save ourselves before it was too late.

"I know you're still in there." I took a step towards her. "Remember all those things I told you. Remember your fear."

"Fear?" She looked confused, almost as if she were remembering. But then her wicked smile returned. "Feelings are for the weak. They let you down in the end. People play off your emotions to get what they want."

"I know what you all want." My hand went to my neck where the crystal still hung. "But I can't give it to you."

"You made this harder for yourself. We want this to end as much as you do." Her words were smooth and carefully chosen. "We can end this, together. All we want is that crystal and we'll let you live."

"Liar!" Edwin yelled. "You have no intention of letting us go alive. We're liabilities."

"Edwin." I was surprised at the passion in his words.

"To give you the crystal now would be to betray all those who gave their lies to keep it from you."

"She stole it from us. It is rightfully ours." The monster spoke from within Nadira.

"It was never yours because you don't deserve it. You'd only use it for destruction and to cause others pain for your own gain. Is that really what you want, Nadira?" He tried to speak to his friend, who was slowly fading away.

I hadn't realized but Edwin understood the power of the crystal. He knew why I had stolen it and he supported my decision. Sometimes I regret what I did. I brought pain to a peaceful people and caused their demise. I shouldn't have gone to them. I shouldn't have gotten them involved. It's my fault, all of it.

"I know you have it Joone." She was now speaking directly to me. "I know you regret taking it. You've caused so much suffering. Just give me the crystal."

There was a kind of hunger in her eyes, a hunger for power. She could sense the power that it emanated but she could not see it. She was so close to achieving her goal but I wouldn't let her.

Then Nadira smirked and cloaked figures grabbed Edwin and I from behind. We struggled to get free but it was no use. The tallest of them came up behind Nadira. Large clawed hands hung by his sides. His face was hidden under his hood but I could tell that even his face was undergoing this monstrous change. Would this happen to Nadira as well?

There were six of them in total, including Nadira. Though I didn't want to include her. My friend. I used to trust her with my life but now. I don't know if I'd ever truly be able to trust her again, not with that monster inside of her fighting for complete control.

"Well done." The tallest one behind Nadira ruffled her head. "Very well done. So you're the little piece of filth that stole the crystal." He came over to stand in front of me. "Hand it over."

"Never." I refused.

"You will give us the crystal. Whether you want to or not." He nodded to the man behind me, holding me in place. He let go of one of my arms but still held on tightly to the other. He took a small knife from his belt.

"I will ask you one more time. Give us the crystal." The tall one in front of me commanded.

"Not even if you said please."

"Fine. Cut off her ear." He ordered the man with the knife. He put the blade to the skin behind my ear, cutting into it deeply. I was shocked into silence.

"No!" Edwin yelled behind me and stamped his foot down hard onto the toe of the cloaked figure holding him. The sudden surprise gave him enough time to wriggle free, and steal the knife from the cloaked figure's belt. Then he did something I never thought he'd do. He charged Nadira.

She was caught off guard and only had time to step back. Edwin swung the knife and I gasped. The small blade cut a thin line into the back of her left hand. She screamed with pain as blood dripped from the cut. This pain was human and for a moment, if only for a moment, she was Nadira. She used that moment as best she could.

Nadira grabbed Edwin by the hand and pulled him toward the edge of the group. It all happened so quickly as she took the knife from him and threw it back towards the man who was about to cut off my ear, killing him. I was released and I ran to join him. Then Nadira stopped and began to shake. The poison was taking hold again.

"Go!" She pushed us away from them. "Run!"

"But…" Edwin protested but I grabbed his hand and pulled him after me.

"I'm sorry." I told her before we ran. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

"It's alright." It was hard for our Nadira to speak. "I forgive you."

The tallest man recovered first and grabbed for us, lunging with his knife but Nadira grabbed him, thrusting him back into a tree. He yelled, but I wasn't looking anymore.

Then we were gone. Running through the forest. I could hear Edwin crying behind me as I held fast to his hand, not letting him fall behind. The shouts of our pursuers rose again and I could tell that they had overcome the shock of the situation and were now hot on our trail once more. Nadira would be with them but she wouldn't be our Nadira anymore.

They shot arrows and threw their knives as best they could at us but the forest was becoming dense and soon we disappeared from their sight. We were smaller then they were so we could slip in and out of the trees with ease. Eventually, when all of the shouting died away we slowed down and I let go of Edwin's hand.

"We have to go back." Edwin turned but I stopped him.

"There's nothing we can do." I shouted.

"She's our friend. How could we leave her?"

"She isn't Nadira anymore. Her last act was to save us. Don't take that for granted." Both of us were breathing heavily. We leant against the trees for support. We were going to have to start running again.

I heard Edwin start to cry again. "We lost her."

I took his arm and pulled him into a tight embrace. "She isn't lost Edwin. She still lives on in our memories. Remember her the way that she was, human. Don't ever forget. Not her smile, the way she talked, or even her name."

"How could I ever forget?" Then he understood. "It's the crystal talking again isn't it?"

The crystal that hung around my neck had certain qualities. I didn't understand it myself but it could glimpse the future. It was always in fragments but it told you enough.

"Joone." He spoke softly. "You mustn't let it show you things. You know how it affects you."

I knew. The magic that it emanated burned me. The first time I had touched it I saw fire. I saw a battle that would end destiny itself. I saw the future and it was dark but there would be light again one day.

"Let go Joone." Edwin spoke again, more forcefully this time. He didn't mean him. He meant the vision now running through my head because of the crystal. "Let go before it consumes you."

Fire consumes and destroys. I gasped and the vision disappeared from my head. I fell back against a tree. There were tears in my eyes and I felt like my head was about to explode. Edwin knelt down next to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't tell me what you saw." He said. "If you let the visions in again it might kill you. Let me carry it for a while." He stretched his hand out.

I hesitated but then I removed the crystal from around my neck and placed it in his hands. "It's not meant for me." I said. "It's meant for another and I must take it to them."

"Do you know who it is?" He asked, slipping the chain over his head and tucking it under his shirt.

"No."

"And yet you still search for them." He sat down next to me.

"I'll always be looking." I said.

"Be carful." Edwin warned. "Magic is dangerous for you but you'll be surrounded by it."

"That's the crystal talking?"

"Don't get too close or else it will burn you." It wasn't Edwin talking. "Tragedy isn't done with you but you will find love and you will be happy, if only for a time."

"I know." Tears came to my eyes as I thought of the future. "Time is short for people like you and me Edwin. But in that time we can do so much and we can impact so many lives." I looked over at him, his eyes were closed and he had fallen asleep. It was getting dark. I'd let him sleep and I would keep watch.

"I'm sorry Edwin." I brushed some hair out of his face. "Sometimes its as if we had never really been born because no one will remember us. No one will know we existed. This is not a story people will tell but I promise you Edwin. I will remember, even when everyone else forgets."

He looked so peaceful and innocent when he slept. I wish I could have saved him. "Oh Edwin, you should never have let me read your palm."

The memories did not end there. The tragedy wasn't yet done with us. I knew what would come but I didn't want to see it.

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!**

**I really love this story so I hope you keep following. Do any of you have any ideas for how to get more people to read this?**

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	18. Not Quite Right, Not Quite Real

**Here is another chapter done and ready to read.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Not Quite Right, Not Quite Real

I was swept further into my mind. In the world of my memories a few days had passed. Edwin and I had been running and hiding constantly. We'd loose the hunters for a while but then they would pick up our trail again and we would be forced to move. For some reason these last few days had been harder on us then before.

Maybe it was because they had Nadira on their side. She knew us. She knew us too well. We wouldn't be able to keep this up forever. We no longer had any idea where we were going, just away. Just any place but here and now.

The trees worked to our advantage, most of the time. They'd grow thick when we needed to disappear and thin out when we needed to gain speed. Our feet flew across the forest floor as if it were on fire. We had to be at least a couple of hours ahead of them now but that wasn't enough. The more distance there was between us the better chance we had of getting out of this forest alive.

We never ran in a straight line, we'd bob and weave our way through this forest in an unpredictable pattern. I could hear Edwin's breathing becoming heavy and labored. We were going to have to rest soon.

Suddenly the trees began to change. As we moved farther and farther through the forest the kind of trees we saw were different to any I had ever seen before. Their bark was dark like charcoal and there were no leaves growing on their drooping branches. Their trunks were thin and they twisted and bent in odd directions. The branches looked like claws reaching out to grab us.

Soon, these strange trees were all that surrounded us. The ground was empty of fallen leaves and the roots jutted out like the hands of the dead when they came back to life, trying to crawl further and further into the world of the living. I never knew this part of the woods existed.

For a moment I thought I saw a strange house poking out between the trees but when I looked back it was gone. This distraction caused me to stumble across the roots, forcing me to lean against a tree for stability. I hadn't noticed before but my heart was racing and my lungs were burning.

"We have to keep moving." Edwin came to stand next to me.

"Just one moment." I panted. "For a breather."

"Make it short." He put his hands on his knees and tried to get his breath back.

I leant further onto the tree. My legs were shaking from the strain of the constant running. If only we could stop here, stop running and hiding. That's all I ever seemed to be doing lately, running and hiding.

"Strange place." Edwin pointed out.

"Yeah, strange." I looked around, my hand still resting on the tree. "I've never seen trees like this."

"Now that I think of it I have heard stories about a place in the woods not far from anywhere. A place that's not quite right, not quite real. Where the trees look like they've been sucked of all life. If they ever actually had any life in them." The temperature around us dropped. "She is said to sleep in a place like this. They say she covers herself in furs from the magical beasts she's killed and when she awakes she will go on the hunt again. Searching for souls to make into puppets before she devours them along with the life they once led. When she's done with them it will be as if they never lived."

"Who's she?" A shiver went up my spine and I almost regretted asking.

"The Old Mother. That's what they call her." It looked like even he was spooked by his own ghost story. "But it's just a myth."

"Even myths and legends can turn out to have an inkling of truth." The trees looked more menacing then before. "We shouldn't linger."

"I agree." He began to walk away and I tried to follow him.

But suddenly a rush of pain ran through me and I clutched at my heart. I fell to my knees, sliding down the side of the tree.

"Joone!" Edwin turned to see me. "What's wrong?"

"I can't breathe." I wheezed. "My heart."

Heart problems, now I remember, but they had never been this bad. This was different. It felt like I was being crushed from the inside. Someone had their hand around my heart and they were slowly squeezing the life out of me. I couldn't move.

I felt Edwin grab me under my arms and swiftly pull me away. The relief was immediate. "Don't touch the trees, Joone." Edwin warned.

I could stand but I still felt nauseous. I looked at the tree and for a moment it looked as though the bark were swirling around like a thick fog. "The trees." I almost whispered.

"It's magic. I can smell it." He had always had a sensitive nose. Good thing those cloaked people hadn't snatched him or he would have sniffed us out by now.

Then I smelt something burning. I looked at the tree and some of the bark was beginning to peel away. Lights shone through. Lights like fire, hissing and crackling.

"Get down." I grabbed Edwin and pulled him down just as the tree exploded overhead, bark flying everywhere. Ash began to fall from the sky.

"I thought we were ahead of them." Edwin gasped.

"Damn their magic. They must have used it to increase their speed." I spat.

The burning smell came again and I heard the crackling of the fire coming from a tree close by. "Move!" I yelled.

We fought past the pain we were feeling in our legs as we dashed away from the tree right before it exploded. The cackle of laughter echoed around us. The forest seemed to tilt in front of me as the magic being used started to affect me. Edwin saw me struggling; he placed my arm over his shoulder to support me. It slowed us down though.

One of the trees in front of us began to crackle with fire and we were both forced to jump in opposite directions to avoid the falling debris. This tree seemed to set off a quick succession of exploding trees. Edwin was getting to his feet close by. He didn't see the tree hissing behind him.

"Edwin!" I screamed but it was too late. The tree burst, sending him flying and smacking into another twisted tree.

I crawled towards him as best I could. Things seemed to move slower. The tree he had smacked into irrupted and I threw myself over him to protect him. The debris rolled over me, burning my back. I gasped in pain but didn't move until it grew quiet again. In fact it was too quiet.

I looked around disoriented. Another tree went off some long feet away from us but I heard nothing. That last one had defined me for the time. I felt Edwin move under me, regaining consciousness. As quickly as I could I pulled him to his feet and we supported each other as we ran away from the destruction.

Eventually the fires faded into the distance behind us. Normal trees came into view in front of us and we staggered towards them until we were hidden by the long shadows they cast. I felt the skin on my back sizzle. The trees grew close together, creating a circle. We slipped inside.

"Water." I breathed a sigh of relief. We had come to the side of a small lake with trees growing all around it and a view of the mountains in the distance.

I let go of Edwin and ran for the water, driving my hands into its depths. I splashed some of the water over my back. It stung the burn but it was cool and banished some of the burning.

"Joone." A small voice said behind me.

I stood and turned. "Edwin?"

He stood so still, his back arched. I took a few steps toward him, not sure what to make of this. Then he looked up and stared into my eyes. He looked so tired and that's when I noticed his hands clutching his side. He pulled one away, revealing the piece of wood that had pierced him. It must have happened when the force from the tree had thrown him. How could I not have noticed? He tried to take a step but his legs wobbled.

"I…" Then he fell forward.

"Edwin!" I screamed and ran toward him. He fell into my arms. His head rested against my shoulder.

"You must protect the future, Joone." I felt him slip something into my pocket. "You are the first piece to the puzzle, the first stepping stone towards a bright Albion."

"Albion?" I had heard the name somewhere before.

"I saw it Joone." He whispered in my ear. "It was so peaceful, so free."

"You saw it in the crystal." I concluded. "What else did you see?"

"I saw two men standing side by side, a man of courage and a man of magic. Only they can bring about this new world. They must be protected, Joone." His voice was getting softer. "You must protect them, even if they never know you're there."

"That's the best kind of protection." I told him. "Because then you never even know that you're in danger."

"Am I in danger?" I heard fear in his voice. For a moment I was silent. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't bear lying to Edwin but then I didn't want to tell him the truth.

"No matter what happens, Edwin, remember that you were loved." I spoke softly in his ear as he leant against me with his weak legs. "You were loved and you always will be loved."

"I loved too." He added. "I loved, I mean love, all of you." The trouble with the tenses tugged at my heartstrings.

"We know." I didn't want him to go, believing no one knew how he felt. "Nadira knew most of all. You're my best friends and you will always be just that and nothing less."

"Nadira." He breathed her name. "If you see her again, tell her I'm sorry."

"I will." Tears came to my eyes and my voice cracked. "Don't forget us Edwin."

"The future can be interpreted in all different sorts of ways." He sounded calm. "I promise to you now Joone. I will never forget."

"No matter what happens." I repeated myself. "I vow on this day that I will protect the future and I will never forget. Not you. Not Nadira. Not even the tears I shed now."

"I'm glad I got to meet you."

"It will be an empty world without you." I could feel him getting weaker and I could only imagine the pain he was going through. He wasn't going to make it.

"Edwin. I'm so sorry." Then I took hold of the shard of wood in his side and rammed it in further. He only felt pain for a second more before going limp in my arms. I gently let him down until I was kneeling with his cold body in my arms.

I brushed some of his wild hair out of his face then slid my hands over his eyes, closing them. He looked so peaceful, as if he were already a part of the world he had spoken of. But he would never see it, not with these eyes. I screamed to the high heavens.

"Look what you've made of me." I cried. "How am I supposed to protect the future if I can't even protect my friends?"

Storm clouds rolled in and it began to rain. It washed away Edwin's blood but my white blouse was still stained with it. A mark I would wear forever.

I got onto my feet and looked to the skies, spreading my arms out on either side of me. "You have the wrong person!" Thunder boomed in response, disagreeing. "Look what magic has done to us. How can it save the world if it can also cause such destruction?"

My hatred for magic burned in my heart. Thunder boomed again. The lightning streaked across the sky, blinding me.

It was a short storm, blowing over in only a few minutes. The dark clouds remained, setting the mood. A sliver of sunlight peaked out from behind the darkness. "Maybe there is a future after all."

I looked back to Edwin, lying still on the grass. Kneeling down beside him, I scooped him up into my arms. Only then did I realize how small he really was. He had always been shorter then me but I had never given it much thought. We are all so small. Legends pass us on the way to their destinies but they don't notice us.

With Edwin in my arms, I made my way to the edge of the lake. I stood there for a moment, taking in the beauty of my surroundings. Then I stepped into the water. I waded in until I was up to my waste. Edwin was so still in my arms.

"You promised never to forget Edwin." I spoke to him knowing he couldn't hear me. "But you will. Death is only the beginning my friend."

Then I let go of him, letting him sink bellow the waves. Something above caught my eye so I looked up. There was a small ball of swirling blue light falling from the sky. It landed with the smallest of splashes, sending a ripple of light across the lake. It passed through me but the magic did not burn me as it usually did. It had a feel of protection to it, and understanding.

When I looked down again Edwin was gone, swept away to Avalon, and only the waves remained. I was alone in the middle of the lake. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the crystal. Edwin had slipped it in before. I put the chain over my head and hid the small crystal under my shirt. It burned slightly as it emanated its power.

When the water around me became still I saw my reflection. It was the first time I had seen myself after the night the camp burned. I didn't look like myself with my wild hair. The tears I had shed left tracks through the soot that covered my face. My eyes were red and swollen from crying. My cloths were ripped and disheveled. The cut behind my ear had opened again and there was blood dripping down my neck. Realization came over me. I would never be the Joone I had been before ever again. Everything had changed. The game had changed and I had to adapt to play by these new rules.

Slowly I waded out of the lake. The last run was about to begin. I left that lake behind and never returned. I had been wrong before. None of us would leave this forest, at least not as ourselves.

/

Then I woke up. My eyes shot open and I sat up with a start. I was in my room, lying in my bed. I was back to the present. A tear fell from my eye. I had broken my promise, I realized. I had forgotten, but never again.

"Joone?" Someone said as they opened the door to my room. "You're finally awake."

"Hunith." I looked up at my friend. "How long was I asleep?"

"A few days." She explained. "Don't worry. Everything's been fine around here. We've all just been worried about you. Even Merlin." She gestured to her son who had come waddling around the corner and into the room.

"I'm sorry to have worried you all."

"What happened?" Hunith asked, sitting on the bed beside me.

I did the only thing I could do. I told her the truth. "I remembered."

"Remembered?"

"I've never told you but before we met I didn't have any memories. I couldn't remember anything except my name. The people you believe to be my family aren't." I explained. "They just found me washed up on some beach with no clue as to what happened. I remember now."

Hunith was silent for a moment, taking in all of this new information.

"Joone!" I heard two yells from the hallway. Jasper and Aida came running into the room, wrapping their arms around me.

"You're back." Aida cried.

"We were so worried." Jasper exclaimed.

I gave Hunith a look. She nodded. She would not ask any more questions about my past but she understood. Finally some answers about me had come to the surface and it was enough for her.

/

A week later Hunith and Merlin packed for home, leaving with the early rays of sunlight. I was there to see them off, Aida and Jasper watched from the window, making sure no one saw them.

At first Hunith was torn about leaving, knowing that she had been away for far too long and also worrying for my mental state. She wondered if it was safe to leave me here without care. I assured her that Jasper and Aida were enough to keep me sane and I urged her on her way. I sensed danger when I touched the crystal and I didn't want either of them around when that happened.

"Keep safe." I said as I pulled the shawl further around my friend. "Stay out of trouble, for Merlin's sake."

"I will. I know he has a future and that makes me happy." We both smiled and I hugged her one last time.

"Goodbye Merlin." I looked down at him and he grabbed onto my finger with his small hand. "We will meet again someday, then we'll have a proper chat."

"Don't forget to write." Hunith reminded me. "I want to know how you and the others are getting on."

"I may not be able to say it outright in case the letter is intercepted and falls into the wrong hands." I told her. "They still have a list with their names on it."

"Make sure your name doesn't end up there as well." Hunith took my hands in hers, squeezing them tightly. "You need to keep safe as well."

"I know." Tears came to both of our eyes. It was always hard to say goodbye. "I'll miss you."

"And I you." She wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

"You best be off." I let go of her hands. "You want to get back before dark and it's a long walk."

"Of course." She swung her pack over her back.

"Oh before you go there's something I want to give Merlin." I untied the red neckerchief from my wrist and tied it around his small neck. "To keep him warm."

"Promise you'll visit." Hunith looked at me with her big eyes.

"One day." I told her, making no promises.

"Goodbye Joone." She turned to leave.

"Goodbye Hunith." I waved after her.

She looked back only once before she was out of sight. My arm fell limply by my side.

"Be safe." I whispered to the wind.

I didn't know but in the not so distant future the other half of destiny would come running into my life and more of my past would be revealed.

**Thank you for reading and please REVIEW!**

**In case anyone was confused my OC Edwin is not the same as the Edwin that is already in the show Merlin. Sorry if there was any problems.**

**If any of you don't know, Part 4 of a teaser for my upcoming story "The Old Mother" will be posted after the last chapter of this story.**

**Hope you all keep following because there is still more to Joone's past that you won't be expecting and a young prince will soon be riding into the picture.**

**See you next time.  
**


	19. Nimueh and the Abomination

**Here is another long chapter to make up for how long it took me to write it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Nimueh and the Abomination

It's been four years since the purge began. Seems not long ago Magnus and Holt were bringing home strays and pleading for me to hide them in my attic. I'm standing just inside the door to my house as these thoughts run through my mind. It makes me glance over my shoulder at the tall wooden cabinet with a world full of secrets hidden behind it. I ran my hand across the old wood, feeling its age.

"You've been so good to us." If anyone had been around they would have thought me mad for talking to an inanimate object, but I was alone in the house. Not even Jasper and Aida were hiding up in the attic. I had let them go on an adventure to the forest as long as they were back before lunch.

I no longer hear the banging coming from next door as Lavania got her merchandise ready for the market, taking some of mine with her and bringing back the money for the ones that she sold. I've had to go myself lately, leaving Jasper and Aida to keep themselves out of trouble, I should really trust them more by now.

Lavania had left a few weeks ago to go live with the rest of her family. They had hit some hard times, loosing quite a few to the purge. I'd miss her.

The world was warm as I stepped out into the sunlight of day, one of Narayan's woven baskets around my arm. It was a beautiful day in sense of weather but events would change the mood and the sun would not seem so bright. I'm glad I took a moment just to close my eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on my face. If I had gone straight to the market then I would have missed him, running on his short little legs, only four years old.

I heard him first before I saw him. His little feet padding across the ground as he ran. I opened my eyes in time to see a small boy with scruffy blond hair bolting towards me. There was fear in his eyes and he looked behind him as if to see if he was still being followed. He was looking back when he ran into my legs, falling backwards, but he didn't cry when he hit the ground. He was in too much shock.

As fast as he could he got to his feet and hid behind me, clinging to my skirts with his little hands. I was startled to say the least as I looked down at him. If he had grabbed onto anyone else's skirts they would have shaken him off and told him to go bother someone else, but I had seen this kind of fear before. Aida and Magnus had worn it when they turned up at my door after running all that way.

I looked back down the road the little boy had come down, searching for his pursuer, but saw nothing. He was shaking now. I couldn't just leave him out here where he could be found. I didn't know who he was at the time or why he was running but instinct kicked in as I turned around and wrapped my arms around his small body. I lifted him up and took him into my house. He clung to me fiercely, still shaking, his eyes wide. I locked the door behind us and quickly went up the stairs hidden behind the old cabinet.

It was the safest place I could think of. As soon as the cabinet was back in place and I had run up the stairs, I gently put him down on one of the vacant cots that neither Aida nor Jasper were using. The small boy wouldn't meet my eyes at first. He was looking around trying to figure out where he was. I tried not to look worried and took on a kinder appearance to try and calm him.

"What's your name?" I asked him. It took him a second to answer as he finally came to look at my kind smile.

"A-Arthur." He stammered.

"Well hello Arthur. My name is Joone." I smiled at him and sat down next to him. He flinched away from me. "There's no need to be afraid." I tried to use soothing words. "I won't hurt you."

"She'll f-find m-me." He began to cry. "She c-can s-see everything."

"Who?" I asked softly.

"T-the w-witch that attacked us as w-we were r-returning to C-Camelot." He had trouble explaining.

"Do you know why she attacked you?" I had to be careful about the questions I asked to not upset him further.

"Father said all people with magic seek to harm us." He was beginning to calm down. I was impressed by his use of words. He was so young.

"I see." If only he knew who he was really talking to. "Well you should be safe here."

"But no matter where I run she always finds me. She can see everything." He repeated. "Why does she keep following me?"

"I don't know Arthur." The name seemed familiar somehow.

"She doesn't care who she hurts to get to me." He warned. "You could get hurt too."

"You fear for the safety of others." So young and he already knew how to care. "Sometimes the sacrifice is worth it if it's for the right person and the right reasons."

"Am I worth it?" He looked at me with teary eyes.

I had only known this small boy for a few minutes but already I cared for him and I wanted to protect him no matter what. Why? Something about him seemed so familiar, as if I had seen him in a dream.

"Of course my dove." I wrapped my arms around him protectively and pulled him close. "Don't ever take your life for granted."

"I'm so scared." He leaned into my embrace. "Nothing seems to stop her. She's going to find me."

"I won't let her hurt you." No matter who she was. Something about Arthur made me want to protect him. Something told me that if I didn't then all would be lost, destiny included.

"Why are you helping me?" Arthur asked softly.

"I guess over the years I've fallen into the habit of helping people on the run." I just can't help myself. I see someone in need and I have to do something, another reason why I joined the Black Feather.

"You've helped people before?" He voice was small.

"Yes I have, and I still am." I rested my head on his. Tears came to my eyes. "But I haven't always been able to save them."

"Why?" Arthur asked.

"Sometimes no matter how hard you try there is nothing you can do and they slowly slip through your fingers until you are forced to let them go." I don't know why I was telling this to a boy I had just met.

Arthur was quiet, taking in my words. I didn't expect him to quite understand, he was still too young. He still had so much to learn. He would make mistakes but he would learn from them.

Suddenly everything went still, I couldn't hear the sound of the wind running through the trees or the sound of the birds singing. I looked up and out the window to see the sky suddenly darkening with thunderclouds. Something was wrong.

Arthur started to shake. "She's here."

Then the room began to tremble as if there were an earthquake. The glass in the window rattled. The walls and floors creaked in protest against some unseen force. My arms seemed lighter as a weight was lifted from them. I looked down.

"Arthur?" I looked around for him frantically but he wasn't anywhere. Something had torn him from my arms and now he was gone, but I would not give up that easily.

"Help!" I heard a small voice yell from outside. Without hesitation I bolted down the stairs and out the back door to see a figure in a bright blue cloak dragging Arthur away.

"Stop!" I yelled. "Let him go!"

But the figure didn't stop. Arthur dug his heals into the ground to anchor himself but it only slowed the figure. "Help me!" He looked back at me.

"I said stop!" I ran at the cloaked figure and tackled them to the ground, forcing them to let go of Arthur. Their hood fell off in the process and her long brown hair became visible. I looked down to see her piercing eyes staring up at me and quickly backed away as if I had been burned, taking hold of Arthur's arm and forcing him behind me. "It's you."

The woman stood up, brushing herself off. Then she looked at me. It had been eight years since I had last seen her but she still looked the same. I doubt she would recognize me though. It had been so long. The look in her eyes confirmed that. There was no recognition there. I remembered everything from my past now and I remembered her face.

"Hand the boy over to me and you won't get hurt." She got straight to it, threatening me.

"Why?" I put my hand on Arthur's shoulder to keep him behind me. "Why is he so important to you?"

"You don't know who he is do you?" The woman almost laughed. "He's Prince Arthur, son of King Uther. Ring any bells?"

My eyes widened as I realized where I had heard his name before. He was the son of the man who had started the purge and condemned so many to death and a life of suffering.

"Ah, now you see." She reached her hand out towards us. "Hand him over and we'll be on our way. No one has to know he was here."

"No." I didn't care who he was. I had to protect him.

"You know who he is. You know what his father has done." She tried to reason with me. "Its better this way."

"He's just a boy." I argued. "You cannot blame him for his father's mistakes."

"I don't. But this will punish Uther." She explained. "Without his son he is nothing. There will be no heir to the throne."

"You think that will make things better, by killing an innocent boy?" She was mad. "You'll just make his hatred for magic stronger and the rest of us will pay for your foolishness. It is not his destiny to die at your hand."

"How dare you speak to me that way. What would you know about destiny. I am Nimueh…"

"I know who you are." I cut her off. "And I don't care."

"You insolent wench." She screamed. "You will pay for your impudence."

"I already have." I spoke under my breath.

Thunder cracked as the witch razed her arms to strike. Words of magic flowed off her tongue but she never completed the spell as a disc of green fire came whizzing past her face, just missing her.

Surprised, I looked to see two familiar faces come bounding in, standing protectively in front Arthur and I.

"Are you alright?" Aida asked, putting up her hands, prepared to cast another spell at a moments notice.

"We saw the clouds and decided to come back early." Jasper explained. "And it's a good thing we did."

"Fools." Nimueh shrieked. "This matter is none of your concern. All I want is the boy."

Aida and Jasper looked at the small boy hiding behind me, seeing him for the first time. They turned back to Nimueh, determined looks on their faces as they stood their ground.

"Well you can't have him." Aida spoke with confidence. Their rebellious natures caused them to act without knowing who the boy was or who the witch was either.

"Get out of my way!" Nimueh took a step forward. The wind began to pick up and it swirled around us.

"Temper, temper." Something changed inside of me as a small smile came onto my face. This caught Nimueh off guard. "You never could control that fiery temper of yours."

"Excuse me." She dropped her arms and the wind died down. "What did you say?"

"You haven't changed Nimueh, not after eight years." I let go of Arthur and gestured for Aida and Jasper to get behind me. They started to protest but one look from me silenced them and they stepped back.

"Do I know you?" Nimueh looked me over, trying to place my face.

"I didn't think it had been that long that you've already forgotten me." I mocked. "After all you did try to kill me on several occasions."

Nimeuh's eyes widened as she recognized me. "Joone?"

"Hello cousin." I smiled, but not kindly. "It's been too long."

"But…I heard you died." She looked shocked.

"You wish." I crossed my arms. "But it seems plunging into the sea and being swept away doesn't always kill someone. Oh don't tell me that's what you told the others. They'll be so angry with you when they find out your little minions didn't finish me off. They were probably already angry with you when they found out you had lost the crystal."

"I underestimated you." Nimueh said, overcoming her shock.

"Well that was your mistake." I could tell the three behind me were very much confused with our conversation.

"Well it seems luck is on my side." Her eyes darkened. "Fate has given me another chance at killing you."

"Kill me know and you'll never find the crystal." I tilted my head to the side.

"You still have it?" Her eyes were filled with hunger for the power that the crystal held within.

"Even if I did, why would I give it to you?"

"Because it is rightfully mine. You stole it from me." She spat.

"You should really learn to control that temper of yours." I didn't back down. "I stole the Crystal Heart because it wasn't rightfully yours. Not that it matters; you had been given orders to kill me already. So I decided to take something with me."

"You deserved to die." She argued.

"I was eight when the order was given, just a child. You brought this upon yourselves." I countered.

"You were a danger to the future of our family. Everyone agreed, even your parents." That struck hard.

"What?" I lost some of my confidence.

"You didn't know?" Nimueh smiled. "Its true. They wanted you dead just as much as everyone else."

"That's not true." I didn't want to believe it.

"Oh, but it is." Her smile was cruel. "Does it hurt to know that everyone that you thought cared for you signed the order for your death?"

"No." I lowered my head.

"They never loved you." Nimueh could feel that she was winning. "Not a single person tried to stop it."

"Your wrong." I looked up. "What about Theo?"

"What?" Her confidence wavered for a moment.

"You couldn't have forgotten Theo could you? Your own brother." There was strength in my words. "He tried to stop you. He never agreed with this."

"You turned him against us!" She yelled. "He was my brother, yet he was loyal to you."

"So you killed him!" I yelled back.

"He betrayed us! He helped you escape!" Nimueh screamed. "And we didn't kill him."

"You didn't?"

"No, we cursed him to wander blind through the world for eternity. He would not be able to look for you." Her voice grew quieter. "Theo is still alive."

The revelation shocked me. Theo and I had been very close. When he found out about the order for my execution he came straight to me and told me to go. I didn't want to leave without him but he told me that it was the only way and that he would stay to hold them off. I tried to argue but he wouldn't listen. I told him they'd kill him, but he didn't care. So I ran, I wished every day that I had stayed but I was so young. I left him there alone to face them as I escaped, taking the Crystal Heart with me, to spite them.

"Joone?" I heard Jasper say behind me. "Why did they want you dead?"

"Yes, why did you want me dead Nimueh?" I knew the answer.

"Because…" Nimeuh couldn't find the words.

"Because I was different." I finished her sentence. "You were afraid of me."

"We did not fear you." She denied, but her words were not sincere.

"I have been asked many times why I hide my hair." My voice grew soft. "I never told the truth. I never told me that my hair was my mark. It marked me as an outcast." I began to undo the scarf wrapped around my head, letting it fall to the ground. My silver hair fell to my shoulders, puffing out a little. "Marking me as an abomination."

Everyone went silent, even Nimueh. The clouds set the mood as my words sunk in, as they realized what that word might mean.

"I tried to hide my hair in other ways, by finding people who could change the colour but it would always turn back eventually." I broke the silence and continue. "I could never run from what I really was Nimueh."

"You deserved our sentence. You're a monster." Nimueh yelled.

"I was a child. I did nothing wrong." I argued.

"You were born." She stabbed me with her words.

"It seems as though my world is topsy-turvy to the way it is now. Our family was full of powerful sorcerers and priestesses. Our blood was pure as we carried on magic." I lowered my eyes. "That is, until I was born. I was an anomaly because…"

"Because you couldn't use magic." Nimueh finished. "We should have known when you were born with silver hair that it was a sign of your abnormality. It wasn't that you wouldn't learn how to use magic. It was that you couldn't."

"I was born with a heart defect." I explained. "I was so weak and to save me they tried using magic, but the magic burned me and it made my heart problem permanent."

"That's when we knew what you were." Nimueh continued. "We turned a blind eye for as long as we could but you stained our family legacy. We used to be pure until you came along. So we decided to finally put a stop to this blasphemy."

"By killing me." My eyes darkened. "You think I chose to be this way. You think I chose this curse. I can't touch magic without it burning me. A simple healing spell could kill me."

"Well it seems today I'm going to take out two birds with one stone." Nimueh got back to the matter at hand. "I'll kill you, take the crystal back and the prince."

"The prince?" Aida looked at the small blond, fear crossing her eyes.

"I'll spare the both of you if you back away now." Nimueh offered.

"No." Jasper stood his ground. "You may have cast Joone out but she found another family."

"You don't turn your back on family." Aida came to stand by me.

"Joone is family." Jasper joined her at my side. "She protected us and now it is our turn to protect her."

"Jasper. Aida." I looked at both of them, love for them rising in my heart.

"This is your last chance." Nimueh warned. "Back away."

"Never." Jasper denied her.

"Very well, you will share her fate." She razed her hand and called upon the lightning to obey her commands. It flashed out of the sky straight at us. I tried to push them out of the way but Aida forced me back. She and Jasper raised their hands to the sky. I turned and wrapped my arms around Arthur to protect him as the lightning struck, but nothing happened.

I looked up to see that the lightning had been deflected off some invisible shield that Jasper and Aida had conjured together. There was a large smoking hole in the ground. Nimueh screeched and this time the lightning shot right out of the tips of her fingers. Jasper and Aida held the shield. Both of their powers combined stood up to Nimueh's, reflecting the lightning right back at her. It was enough to wound her but not fatally. She fell to her knees.

"No!" She screamed. "I won't loose." With one last blast of power she sent a ball of pure energy flying at us. Then she disappeared to heal in a much safer place. The energy cut right through the shield. It was over in a flash.

I got up to see if anyone was hurt. Jasper and Aida looked fine. I had no injuries, but then I looked down to the small boy.

"Arthur?" He looked stunned. Then he looked up at me and collapsed.

"Arthur!"

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	20. The Crystal Heart

**A bit of a shorter chapter this time.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, just my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

The Crystal Heart

I held the small limp body of Arthur in my arms as we ran into the house. He was visibly becoming paler as the ball of energy Nimueh had cast upon him began to do its work, stealing Arthur's very life. This wasn't right. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to protect him. He couldn't be another one of the people I would loose.

"Come on Arthur." I whispered in his ear. "Stay with me."

We laid him down on one of the cots. Aida checked his pulse and felt his forehead. "He's heating up and his pulse is slowing." Both the wrong answers.

"Is there anything we can do?" I asked.

"Why should we do anything at all?" Jasper spoke up. "He's King Uther's son. I'm sorry to say it but what if Nimueh was right? Arthur will only follow in his father's footsteps and…"

I didn't let him finish the sentence as I smacked him on the back of the head. "Ow."

"Don't you dare say that." My voice was stern. "You don't know what he'll grow up to be like. He could be completely different. He may even have the power to lift the ban on magic and give us our freedom. If we let him die we'll never know."

"If we let him live there's the possibility that he could be even worse then Uther." Jasper argued.

"Not if he has the right guidance." I countered.

"Well Uther isn't exactly the right guidance."

"There are others. It is not his destiny to die here." I looked back to his small body. "I know it isn't."

"You saw it in the Crystal Heart didn't you? I've heard of the crystals. They can give you glimpses of the future. But Joone, I thought magic burned you." Aida cut in.

"It did. I nearly lost my mind when the images forced their way into my head." I explained.

"You saw a glimpse of Arthur's destiny." Aida concluded. "Who will he become?"

I closed my mind and called upon the memory of those visions. The name slowly came floating back to me. "He will become the Once and Future King."

The others gasped, having heard the prophesy before. Side by side Emrys and the Once and Future King will lead us to Albion. Arthur was that king. He didn't look like it now, being so small.

"If we don't act quickly Albion will never exist." Jasper came to his senses. "But what can we do? His very life is being sucked away."

"Joone. When you touched the crystal it gave you visions. Did they say anything about this moment." Aida looked to me.

"I…" I searched for anything that could have been tied to this moment. "The crystal gave me few visions. It wasn't meant for me. I was merely meant to deliver it."

"To who?" Jasper asked anxiously.

"To…" Suddenly the sound of a piercing wail rang through the house. We covered our years. Aida leant over and covered Arthur's, leaving hers exposed. She screamed as blood began to drip from her ears. Acting on instinct I reached out and covered her ears. I felt searing pain inside my ears and I could tell they were bleeding. Jasper looked like he was going to do for me what I had done for Aida, but then the wail stopped.

"It calls." A small voice spoke.

"Arthur?" Jasper looked down at his small blue eyes that looked back, filled with innocents. But his eyes were cloudy.

"It calls for the one it seeks. So close." His voice was not his own.

"The Crystal Heart." I managed to get out. "It wasn't meant for me. It was meant for Arthur. It was always his."

"Can it save him?" Aida's voice was soft as she tried to regain her hearing.

"Lets find out." I got to my feet but wavered. The wail had knocked off my balance. Jasper rose and took my arm to steady me. I looked at him gratefully. He helped me down the stairs. "Stay here." I told him. "I can make it from here."

"Are you sure?" Concern filled his eyes.

"Go back and see if Aida has got her hearing back." I patted his arm and pushed back the cabinet and into the open space of the rest of my house. I spend so much time up in that attic that sometimes the rest of my home looks unfamiliar to me, as if I'm a stranger in my own house.

I felt my way along the wall, finally coming to my room. The Crystal Heart was still in the box under my bed. It looked so beautiful, reflecting the colours of the sun as it came out from behind the clouds. I hesitated before tentatively taking it into my hand. I almost dropped it as I felt my skin start to burn. I wouldn't be able to hold onto it for very long so I ran for the stairs but I was stopped in my tracks half way.

My hand flew to my heart as searing pain shot through my body originating at my heart. I couldn't walk straight, the pain messing with my mind. My eyes rolled back in my head as I fell to my knees, then fell forward even further, the Crystal Heart skidding from my hand, the world span in darkness before me. I was reckless. I should have known that my reaction to the magic would get worse the more I touched it, but I had to save Arthur.

A shadow passed through my vision and I felt someone lifting me to my feet, dragging me the rest of the way, up the stairs. They had the Crystal Heart in their hands. I shook the dark spots from my vision, still feeling weak.

"Jasper." My voice was faint. Sometimes I'm glad he doesn't always follow everything I say. He has a need to protect those he loves. His family. In that moment I knew that I would give my life for that boy, if only he could grow old with this world.

Arthur's breathing had become labored by the time we got back to him. Aida was holding his little hand firmly as if that would keep him from going into the light and leaving us. We couldn't let that happen, no matter what.

"What do we do now?" Aida seemed to have recovered and her ears had stopped bleeding.

"Put the Crystal to his heart. Both of you, together." I told them. They looked at me confused. "I cannot touch the crystal anymore. You must be the ones to save him."

They didn't wait for more encouragement. Jasper took Aida's hands in his, the crystal in the center. They gasped as the crystal began to glow, stopping.

"Hurry. We don't have much time." I warned them.

Together they put their hands to little Arthur's chest and slowly let the crystal slip from their hands onto his skin. The crystal seemed to sink into his skin, its glow fading. For a heart stopping moment nothing happened. Arthur didn't get any worse but didn't get any better. Suddenly he gasped and shot straight up, instinctively grabbing for my arm.

"You're okay, Arthur." I wrapped my arms around him. "Everything is going to be okay."

"The witch, she…"

"Shhh my dove. She's gone." I spoke soothingly to him. "She won't be able to hurt you now." My eyes darkened. "She wouldn't dare."

"Hello Arthur." Aida smiled. Arthur looked from her face to Jasper's, then he screamed and tried to back away but I held him still.

"They have magic. They'll hurt me." He cried.

"No, you're safe." I assured him. "Aida and Jasper saved you. There is no need to fear."

I could tell that Arthur didn't quite believe me. His father had already begun to fill his head with lies. It would take time but I knew, someday, Arthur would come to see differently, maybe with the help of a certain young warlock.

"But father said…"

"Not everyone is the way your father describes." I tried to be gentle. "Not everyone with magic is evil. Magic isn't evil in the first place if the wielder decides not to misuse their power."

Aida put her hands to her ears and spoke a few words, her eyes flashing gold. Arthur screamed but he could not run. He was still weak and wheezing. Only a little of his colour had returned.

"What's she doing?" He looked terrified.

"I'm only healing my ears." Aida explained. "I can barely hear you guys."

I opened my mouth to ask her to heal mine as well but then I stopped and closed my mouth again. Even a healing spell, as simple as that, could have fatal consequences for me. Aida looked up at me and our eyes connected as we shared the same thought. I smiled weakly. My ears weren't damaged as much as Aida's had been but unlike hers mine would never heal. It's not the first wound I've gotten. I could live with the loss of part of my hearing.

"Can she heal other people?" Arthur asked even though Aida was right there. "Can she heal you?"

"She can heal others, but I'm afraid I'm the one person she can't. Magic is dangerous for me, potentially even fatal, but I don't hate magic because of that. I will admit there was a time I hated it almost as much as your father does, but not enough to kill anyone. It seems memory loss and a new life can sometimes help you to see things in a new way, from a new perspective." I smiled at Aida and Jasper.

Arthur looked confused but I just waved it away. "No more questions." I poked his little nose. "You're still weak. You should rest."

"I'm not tired." He tried to sound convincing but his eyelids were already sliding shut.

Arthur fell asleep in my arms. "Destiny is a part of you now. Be careful not to break that Crystal Heart." I knew he couldn't hear me, but Aida and Jasper could. "There's no going back now. Things have been set in motion that not even we understand. I'm sorry Arthur. There is no escaping destiny."

I stayed with him for the rest of the day. Jasper scrounged around for anything we could eat in the house without going out. It had been four years and slowly, very slowly, Aida and Jasper were gaining more freedom. Maybe I'll take them with me the next time I go to the market to sell my pots. They'd like that.

They stayed by me. I could see Jasper chewing his lip nervously. Aida was tapping her knee with her middle finger like Magnus does.

"He'll be running around in maybe a little over a week." Aida estimated, looking down at Arthur's sleeping face.

"Can he stay here for that long?" Jasper asked. "His father will notice that he's missing by then. If he goes out searching and finds him with us he'll arrest us. Maybe even worse for Aida and I."

"I wouldn't let him take you." I said stubbornly.

"You wouldn't have a choice." Jasper pointed out.

Aida looked between the two of us. "So, what will we do?"

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	21. Rebellion

**I'm back here with the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Rebellion

_Dearest Hunith,_

_It has been far too long my friend since I last read your words, and even longer since I've heard your voice. I received your letter this morning, which will be a day ago when you read this. I'm glad to hear that Merlin is doing well and not getting into too much trouble. Keep him away from the fire. He seems too curious about it._

_Things are going well here. My lodgers are well and so am I. We had a new visitor come to us about a week ago. He isn't like the others, normal in a sense. I'd guess that he's a little older then Merlin. He's recovering from an ailment but will soon be back on his feet._

_Maybe they will meet someday, Merlin and the boy. I feel that they will. Merlin's future will not be complete without him. Destiny will not be fulfilled. It seems I have met both sides of the coin now. One day you will as well. I am sure._

_We're off to the market today to sell the pots I've made. Should be a good trip to get out of the house. I hope all is still well with you and Ealdor. I miss it and you so much. Give Merlin a kiss from me._

_Your dear friend,_

_Joone_

I rolled up the short letter and tied it with a little piece of string I had lying around. Then I tucked it into the pocket of my jacket. I tightened the scarf around my head.

"Are you all ready?" I asked, looking at the others. Jasper was still having a hard time with his cloak.

"Oh let me." Aida smacked his hands away and tied the knot herself. I saw his cheeks flush when she closed the space between them and I secretly smiled to myself. They're both seventeen now. I guess it's about that time. I was about there age when Magnus came falling out of the sky.

"Can I ride on the cart?" A small voice asked beside me.

Arthur had his hood up so that it was blocking his face. I laughed and knelt down in front of him, pushing it back so he could see. "The cart is full of the pots we're going to sell at the market today. There won't be room for you."

He looked disappointed but didn't complain any further. He had spent a week with us now and was almost completely healed. Over that time he had become used to the way we lived around here. We didn't give orders and we treated everyone with respect, as equals.

"Come on." I took his hand. "We better hurry or we'll miss the rush."

The market was in the next town over. It wasn't too long of a walk. Aida and Jasper had been wishing for this moment for a very long time but now they looked hesitant and nervous. I took hold of Aida's hand and squeezed lightly. Together we walked out the front door.

Our small cart was filled with my pots. I had been working late into the night so we would have enough to sell to get the money we needed for food. Jasper took the handle of the cart. It was small enough for one person to pull. I told him I would do it but he insisted, saying he would be representing the man of the house.

I hurried over to the messenger who was about to ride out. Eadlor was on his route so I handed him my letter. He gave me a smile and was on his way.

We had prepared the night before incase anyone asked questions. The story would be that Jasper, Aida, and Arthur are all orphans who have come to stay with me because they have nowhere else. A lie laced with truth is easier to tell convincingly. If they asked how they became orphaned then we decided on a fire for Jasper, a collapsing house for Aida, and illness for Arthur. We also shortened Arthur's name to Art so no one would become suspicious.

We were leaving for the market quite early in the morning so we would arrive when it was just beginning. I needed time to set up my stall as well. After a short time we could finally see the town in the distance. Our legs ached and we sighed with relief.

"I can't go any further." Arthur complained. He was still getting back on his feet, so I scooped him into my arms and he wrapped his short arms around my neck.

"You look tired Jasper." Aida noticed. "I'll help." She took hold of the handle of the cart next to him.

"Really I can do it." Jasper insisted.

"Don't try to act macho. You can't pull it off anyways." She laughed. "You're sweating like a hog and these pots are quite heavy."

"Sorry." I called over to them.

"Don't even try to argue." Aida spoke before Jasper could find a good rebuttal. "I'm just as strong as you. Anyways, you look like you're about to run yourself into the ground."

"Fine." He finally gave in and moved over slightly so Aida could get a good grip on the cart.

We arrived just as customers were beginning to show up. Our stall wasn't up more then a few minutes before the street was packed with people trying to buy and sell. People yelled over the crowd to be heard and to convince people to buy their merchandise. Aida used her loud voice to attract attention, which in any other situation I would have forbidden, but this was the market and it had been four years since anyone had seen Jasper and Aida's faces. No one would recognize them, not here. Arthur was only four and, because of his paranoid father, barely anyone knew what he looked like, the only upside to this situation. He stuck close to my side the whole time, suspicious of everyone who passed by, everyone who bought one of my pots.

We were down to our last couple pots when it happened. The first we knew about it were shouts from the far side of the crowd that filled the market. My head shot up and looked over the top of the crowd but could see nothing yet. People became agitated, moving this way and that as the shouts forced them out of the road to make way for whatever or whoever was coming through. Many people fled the market when they saw what was coming. Others froze and for a moment everything became silent.

My heart almost stopped when I saw what the horses were pulling along behind them. Two large cages, but the cages weren't empty. They were full. We heard the cries coming from within. Some people covered their ears or the ears of their children as they turned them away so they would not see. Instinctively I pulled Arthur close to me, turning his face away.

"What's happening?" He whispered.

I was too shocked to answer him. Never had I seen them take so many at one time. They must have found one of their camps in the woods and taken as many as they could. The ones who struggled and fought too much…I don't want to think about what might have happened to them. Those caught had lost hope, their mud smeared faces stared out at the rest of us.

The first cage was full of the elderly and some young men and woman. It's when the second cart pulled in that the shouting and yelling began. The shouting moved through the crowd as the cage made its way down the road. Under the cover of the uproar I quickly turned to Jasper and Aida. Their eyes were wide with fear.

"You cannot stay here." I told them, handing Arthur's little hand to Jasper. "Take Arthur and find a safe place to hide."

"What about you?" Aida stepped forward.

"I'm going to stay. I'll find you when this all dies down and we'll all go home together." I promised.

"We're not leaving you." Aida began to cry. I pulled her into a warm embrace.

"Shhh, my songbird." I whispered in her ear. "Your tears aren't going to help anyone. Now go." I pushed her away.

They hesitated, even Arthur looked like he didn't want to just leave. "Go!" I said sternly, giving them a little push. They were swallowed by the crowd. I saw their fearful faces disappear from sight and I hoped they'd be safe. I would have gone with them but I had to know what was happening here.

I pushed my way to the front of the crowd just as the second cage was going by. My hands flew to my mouth and I heard a few women around me begin to scream. Mothers clung to their children more fiercely as if to protect them.

"Murderers!" Someone shouted.

"Slaughterers!" Another one yelled.

A woman stumbled forward out of the crowd and grabbed one of the soldier's arms. Her eyes were filled with tears. "Please." She wept. "Please, they're only children. What bad have they done?"

The soldier shoved her away, roughly pushing her to the ground. Without a word he returned to his place along side the wagons. He may not have had any words but the rest of us had many.

"Children killers!"

"Let them go!"

"You should be in the cages, not them!"

"They're only children!"

"What harm have any of them done?"

The loudest of the voices were the protestors but I'm sure somewhere in the crowd there was someone who believed that what was happening here was just and for good reason.

Soldiers walked along side the wagons, sword and spear in hand, to prevent anyone from getting close. They were also cautious, if one of the prisoners should happen to escape. None of these people were powerful sorcerers. They all looked so weak and small.

One of the women next to me fell to her knees and wailed, her friend knelt down beside her to try and calm her crying. Others in the crowd shouted insults at the soldiers, who appeared unfazed.

"They're mad." Another woman next to me spat.

One of the wheels of the second cart hit a rock, jostling everyone inside. One of the women was thrown against the bars. A young man leaned over to try and help her. Her pale face turned to look out over the crowd and I nearly fainted as I saw her mournful, hopeless, familiar eyes. Her dark hair was matted and it fell over her face, but I knew her.

Before I knew what I was doing, I ran forward, dodging the soldiers who grabbed for me. I spun on my nimble feet to avoid the hands that reached out to pull me back. The rest of the crowd seemed to fall silent then, watching me do my dance toward the cages. The woman saw me coming and she reached out through the bars toward me.

"Lavania!" I called her name as I clasped her hand.

"Joone." She cried pulling me in closer to the bars so she could speak quickly to me in private. We didn't have much time; soon the soldiers would be upon us. Lavania swiftly took a small folded piece of paper from her pocket and stuffed into my hand. "Please take this quickly. Deliver it to my brother."

Others in the cage leant forward and stuffed more paper into my hands to deliver to their loved ones. I took them all, hiding them in my pockets before the soldiers could see. My eyes connected one last time with Lavania's before I was roughly torn away from her. My fingers slipped from her hand. Her arm still reached out for me as tears stained her cheeks, making tracks through the dirt and mud that covered her skin.

"No!" I screamed, trying to get back to her. "Lavania!"

One of the soldiers hit me hard in the gut to silence me. That set off the crowd as men and women ran forward to pull me away from them. The people outnumbered the soldiers, but they were skilled with their swords and spears. The most the people were able to do was gain a small victory by saving me.

"You're alright." A woman took me into her arms as I cried. I buried my face into her shoulder. Her embrace was that of a mother's. But I wouldn't be all right. I would never all right again. The crowd followed behind the wagons as they made their way through the city. Just on the edge, before they left the wagons stopped for a moment.

One of the soldiers stepped forward. He had an air of authority about him, probably a knight, most loyal to the king. Nobility. Always thinking they're higher and better then the rest of us. He cleared his throat.

"People, this world has been plagued by magic for too long. King Uther is wise and has finally taken action against the vile creators." He spoke loudly. "Stand behind your king and declare the vermin that inhabit your very town."

The people were silent for a moment. They looked around to see if anyone would speak. No one did, then an elderly man stepped forward, a young woman held his arm to support him.

"I declare…" He began. Everyone held their breaths. He razed his bony finger and pointed it straight at the knight. "You. I declare you."

"How dare you." The knight looked insulted. "I am no sorcerer."

"No." The old man's voice was gravely. "But you're the only vermin I see here."

The crowd roared in approval. "Silence!" The knight bellowed, but could barely be heard above the crowd.

It was the sound of marching feet and the whinnying of horses that finally silenced the town's people. Out of the woods behind the two wagons came what seemed like an army, but not that big, all wearing the same red of Camelot. The people backed away and the knight from before smiled maliciously.

"This isn't the first time this town has rebelled." He stated. "We were going to give you one last chance to follow your king but it seems you have cast that chance aside. We have our orders."

One of the men atop the horses that came from the woods whistled very loudly, signaling to the rest of his men. The order had been sent out and now nothing could stop them. They marched on the town with torches and swords.

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!**

**I was watching "La Rafle" and it inspired this chapter.**

**I'm trying to finish up as quick as I can so I can start writing "The Old Mother". Part 4 of the teaser will be at the end of this story.**

**Hope you keep following and see you next time.**


	22. Hanging by a Thread

**Here we are and I'm back again with another chapter. I am trying to wrap things up but it is taking longer then I realized.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy and tell me what you think.**

Hanging by a Thread

Everything was on fire. The flames licked up the houses as the people ran screaming in terror. The soldiers and knights from Camelot marched through the city, burning everything as they went. They cut down anyone who got in their way. Some of the people tried to fight back but it was no use as their lifeless bodies fell to the ground. Even the people in the cages screamed for us as they were forced to watch. I could hear Lavania calling out my name but the further I got the more muffled her voice became until it was completely gone, never to be heard again by my ears.

Parents carried their children as they tried to escape the flames that consumed the place they once called home. Many of them were trapped as the houses collapsed and the fire blocked their path.

The day had begun with a market where everyone smiled and shouted to be noticed so they could sell their goods. In only a few moments that had changed. The stalls were destroyed. The last of my pots were smashed. Families were separated. Many people had come from towns and villages close by but would never return. Their families would always wonder what had happened to them and why they never came home. Some would figure it out and others would be in denial, still hoping that somehow their loved ones had survived and escaped the chaos. Very few did.

My feet hit the ground as I ran down the street, my brow covered in sweat. I had to find the others. I had told them to hide and that I would find them. I promised. I wasn't going to leave this place without them. It was my job to protect them and I would not fail. We were going to go together.

I saw a small girl standing in the middle of the street, her wavy black hair tangled and her face covered in soot. She looked around with wide eyes, lost. Then she called out. "Gaia!" A friend? A sister? "Gaia!" She called again. A woman came running out and scooped up the little girl who screamed in protest.

"No!" She screamed. "I have to find Gaia! I won't leave her!" She struggled but the woman didn't let her go, running toward the edge of the city.

I turned off the main road, looking everywhere. There were carts of hay turned over, catching on fire. I coughed as the smoke entered my lungs. Then I saw him, through the smoke, and he saw me. His little legs carried him slowly towards me and I ran towards him, falling to my knees and embracing him.

"Arthur." I breathed his name. "Thank goodness your safe." I kissed the top of his head as he sobbed. He was so young and had already seen so much. I looked around us. "Arthur, where are Jasper and Aida?"

"We were separated." He sobbed.

At least there was a chance that they were still out there. "Lets go find them." I said getting to my feet. I turned and froze. There, standing right in front of us in his read uniform was a knight of Camelot. He held a loaded crossbow in his hands, the arrow aimed straight at my heart. I pushed Arthur behind me. But the knight did not fire. In fact it looked as if he were shaking. He was young, around my age, with short cut brown hair. His uniform was hand-me-down. He must be new to being a knight. Still trying to find the glory they told him about in battle. Was this what he expected when they told him stories? Did they tell him his job was to kill the innocent, their own people?

"What's your name?" He asked. A mistake. It would be easier to shoot us if he didn't know who we were.

"Joone Tellar." I tried to keep the shaking out of my voice. I tried to stand tall in front of him. "And you?"

"Sir Galahad. Who's he?" He gestured with his crossbow towards Arthur behind me, surprising that he did not recognize him. But his little face was covered in soot and he wore the cloths of the people.

For a moment I was silent. The story we had created to hide his identity escaped me. I couldn't remember, so I said the first thing that came to my head. "He's my son." Arthur didn't deny it with the arrow pointed at us.

That answer made the knight hesitate. How could he shoot a mother and her child? He had a mother. Would this be like killing her?

"I can't let you go." He tried to sound confident but his voice wavered. "I have orders."

"To destroy traitors to the king. Yes, I know." I spat. "Even the children of this town have betrayed the king. Is that what they told you? Did they tell you we deserved to die for our treachery towards the king?" He was silent, trying not to break eye contact with me. "Then shoot me, but let my son go. He's only a child."

"I didn't want this." He began to lower his weapon. "This is not honorable, to kill woman and children. I didn't sign up for this." He threw the crossbow to the ground. I was shocked.

"Go." He said as the sound of other soldiers could be heard in the distance, getting closer. "Go!"

"You are truly a knight." I called to him. "The most gallant. We won't forget your mercy." Then we ran. I looked back once to see him picking up the crossbow from the ground but he did not follow us. He would lead the others away from us.

Sir Galahad. Not a name I would soon forget and he would never forget me either. Joone Tellar, the woman who proved he was a true knight. He would never forget my words.

I scooped Arthur into my arms to run faster, holding him close. I didn't really know where I was going, just that I needed to keep running, searching for my refugees. That's when I saw Aida come bursting out of the smoke, almost running into us. Her cloths were slightly burnt and she had lost her cloak. Her ginger hair looked almost white with ash. Her eyes focused in on me and she engulfed the two of us in a large hug.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked.

"I don't know." Her eyes were wet and her voice was almost horse from shouting, calling for Jasper and the rest of us. I stroked her face with the back of my hand.

"We'll find him." I promised. The house next to us collapsed, and the flames jumped out at us, bighting at our heals as I pulled on Aida's arm to follow us. The town was falling apart, soon there would be nothing left but ashes and the memory of what it used to be. Very few would remember this night and the terror it brought.

We avoided the fire as best we could, but the smoke was thickening, threatening to suffocate us. The scarf I had wrapped around my head caught on fire and I was forced to pull it off, throwing it to the ground. We followed the path the fire showed us until we came running out into the open. Night was falling as we ran out into the fields that surrounded the town and the forest beyond. We didn't stop running until we came to a small hill where we could look down on the burning town and the flames would not reach us.

The cold air cooled our skin, but we didn't notice. We stared down on the town with wide eyes, traumatized. I turned Arthur's face away so he would not see. Aida fell to her knees and wept. I lowered Arthur to the ground and he wrapped his small arms around Aida to try and comfort her.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

"Because Jasper isn't here." She cried. "He was supposed to be here."

I wished I could comfort her as well but I could not take my eyes off of the flames. For four years we managed to evade the law, but now everything was falling down around us.

Uther's forces against magic had gone quiet for so long that we had become too comfortable. Maybe that was his plan. Make us feel as if he was beginning to relent so that we would feel like we could come out in the open only for him to grab us as soon as we stepped outside our doors and throw us in cages. The ones he had caught would be taken to Camelot and thrown in the dungeons to keep them away from the rest of the world. His prisons would become too full soon. What then?

Perhaps he planned to burn us out until his realm was all but ash. Would that please him, to know that he has destroyed his own kingdom?

I buried my face in my hands, no longer able to look at the gruesome sight anymore. My hair fell over my face. Then I looked up at the sky and yelled to the high heavens, falling to my knees. I couldn't save him. I couldn't save Jasper.

"I should have saved you." I smoke softly to the night sky. "Jasper."

I could remember his smile in my memories. I remember him dancing with Aida. I remember them laughing together and how stubborn he was to trust me in the beginning. I remember his kind heart. He didn't deserve this.

"Its okay Aida." Arthur spoke to her. "Jasper will be here soon."

His words broke my heart and I began to cry. He didn't understand what had happened. One day he wouldn't even remember this tragedy.

"He's gone, Arthur." Aida sobbed. "And he's never coming back."

"Yes he is." Arthur argued and looked to me. "You promised we would all go home together."

"I'm so sorry Arthur." I cried. "We won't be going home together today."

"Tomorrow then?" He still did not see.

"Not tomorrow Arthur. Not ever."

"No, that's not true." Arthur didn't want to believe it. "You're lying." He let go of Aida and stared up at me. "You're lying."

I didn't want to answer him. I couldn't. Many would have lied and told him Jasper was on a trip and wouldn't be back for a long time, but I just couldn't. I had done too much lying in my lifetime that I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm surprised at how long I've been able to keep my sanity.

Everyone was silent as we listened to the flames that brought the town to its knees. We heard the screams of the people. I looked away, but Arthur and Aida could not. Arthur wouldn't remember what happened but he would always remember the fire. Aida's eyes were wide and watery. She looked until she couldn't bear it anymore. I pulled Arthur away and he buried his small face in my skirts.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." Aida broke the silence. "I never even got to tell him…"

We heard the crack of a twig beside us and we turned to see the last person we ever imagined. He too had lost his cloak, his cloths were singed, and he was covered in ash.

"Never got to tell me what?" He coughed the smoke from his lungs.

"Jasper!" We shouted.

"I told you he'd come!" Arthur shouted.

Aida was the first to run forward as she stumbled to get to her feet. She stopped a few feet away from him as if she didn't believe he was real and this was all just a trick.

"Aida?" He looked concerned. "Its me. It really is me."

Just hearing his voice shattered the illusion and she closed the space between them. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Its about time." I said to myself.

"We thought we'd lost you." Aida said, pulling away.

He smiled. "I'd never just leave you like that." He assured her and kissed her again.

"Ewww." Arthur called from beside me. "Get a room."

We all laughed. So everything hadn't fallen apart after all. We were still hanging on by a thread.

"Come on." I called to them, taking Arthur's hand. "Lets go home."

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW! I would be eternally grateful.**

**This is the longest story I have ever written.**

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	23. I Will Always Wait for You

**This one is a little shorter but I hope you like it. Its shorter and happier.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Please read and enjoy.**

I Will Always Wait for You

I told them the story, when we were back safe in my attic. The story of a brave knight named Sir Galahad who saved a mother and her child from the fires. He showed mercy and was a true knight. I started crying half way through the story. I hoped he was all right.

Aida and Jasper were surprised when I told them that I had said that Arthur was my son but they were both just glad that we were okay and they wished they could have met Sir Galahad. He sounded like a nice man, they said. I hadn't lost the money we made from selling my pots so we would be all right for a while, but I didn't know when I would be able to make more pots again. They would always remind me of Lavania and how I would never see her again.

And now I'm here, staring out the window of my room, holding a little black feather in my hand that was left on my windowsill. The sun is just starting to come up and I can see the fence on the other side of the field where he waits for me. I've seen him less and less lately and my heart beats faster. I wrap a scarf around my head at the front so my silver hair is hanging out the back. He knows my secret. As soon as I remembered I told him. I couldn't keep it from him and he said it made no difference to the way he felt about me.

So this is how I find myself, again, running across the field towards the fence where I always imagine him waiting for me, and this time he's there. He sees me coming and jumps off the fence to meet me. I run faster today because there's something I must tell him. He doesn't know about Arthur and for the first time in so long I must ask for his help. I don't know what to do.

His arms are warm as I burry my face in his muscular chest. He kisses the top of my head. "Hello my Redwing."

"Hello my Blackbird." I answer him.

"I've missed you." He whispers in my ear.

"I knew I'd see you again." There were tears in my eyes. He had been gone for too long. Every day I check my windowsill for his black feather.

"I'm sorry I made you wait." He apologized.

"I'd wait forever."

He pulled away slightly and looked down at me, studying my face. "There's something troubling you." He could always tell.

"Come with me." I said. "Back to the house. I'll tell you there."

He let me take him by the hand and we sprinted back to the house. We went in through the back and up the familiar stairs. Last time Magnus had been up here had been just before he left the first time. It brought back memories. We woke the three sleeping up there with our noise.

"Magnus!" Aida smiled and hugged him. Jasper stood and shook his hand. Then he looked to the little boy that stared at him with curious eyes. He knelt down in front of the boy.

"And who is this?" He asked.

"Magnus." I said slowly. "This is Prince Arthur Pendragon."

Magnus acted calmly. "Its nice to meet you." He shook the little boy's hand. Then he stood and gestured me over to the other side of the room so we could talk.

"Oh, Joone. What have you gotten yourself into?"

"He was running from Nimueh, a witch who wanted him dead. I couldn't help it." I wouldn't meet his eye. "I had to help but he was injured so we couldn't send him home."

"If Uther finds him here…" Magnus didn't want to think about it.

"Arthur is better now. He's recovered. I need your help Magnus." I pleaded. "I don't know what to do. Should I send a message to Uther myself telling him his son is here? Should I go to Camelot to take him home? What?"

Magnus was quiet for a moment as he thought, bighting his lip. He always looked cute when he did that but I never told him. He lent against the wall before speaking again.

"I've had word that Camelot is at war right now, far from here. Its with one of the neighboring kingdoms." He told me. "Camelot isn't the safest place right now, especially for a little boy."

"So…"

"Its safer here for him then there." He said honestly.

"And after the war is over?" I asked.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but I'll think about it." I caressed my cheek. "Don't worry Joone. I'll think of something. Trust me."

"I trust you." I said, smiling.

We looked back to the others. Aida was tickling Arthur, who was squealing, and Jasper was almost falling over with laughter at the sight.

"There just kids." I said. "They shouldn't be a part of this purge."

"We were just kids once." Magnus reminded me. "Look at us now, fighting for what we believe. Did you ever imagine we'd end up here?"

"I've been fighting all my life, but no. I never imagined this." I told him. "But there are some parts I wouldn't give up for the world."

"Which parts?" He asked.

"Them." I nodded my head towards Jasper, Aida, and Arthur. "And you."

"Me?" He almost looked surprised.

"Yes you." I punched him lightly in the arm. He laughed but his smile disappeared for a moment.

"You should stop waiting for me." His voice was low and I almost didn't catch it.

"What?" I looked at him incredulously.

"I don't want you to keep waiting for me." He said a little louder but so the others would not hear.

"How can you say that?" I couldn't believe him.

"I'm away for months at a time Joone. I can't expect you to wait for me forever. You have to move on Joone. Meet someone who will be there for you."

"You are here for me." I argued.

"No I'm not." He took my hand. "Please Joone. Listen to me. Find a little happiness because I can't give it to you."

"When have I ever listened to you?" I pulled my hand away. "You can't just tell me to stop loving you."

"You love me?" I could see the surprise on his face.

"Of course Magnus. I guess in some ways I have since the day you fell out of the sky." I looked him straight in the eye. "If you want me to be happy then don't break my heart."

"Joone." His voice was soft. "I'd never hurt you. The woman I love."

"Then don't ask me to stop waiting for you." I smiled through my tears. "Don't you stop coming to see me. I couldn't bear to lose you."

"You are the reason I come back." He smiled. "You're the reason I keep searching for a place we can be free, together. It took me a while to realize it but I've always known that Joone, I can't live without you." He got down on one knee. My breath caught in my throat. The others were watching now.

"Will you marry me Joone Tellar?" He took my hand.

"You go from asking me to leave you to asking me to marry you." I laughed. "You are a strange boy Magnus Fedele."

"Is that a no?"

"Of course not." I pulled him to his feet. "It is and always will be a yes."

He sighed with relief, pulling me in and kissing me. The others laughed with joy. It was the longest kiss we had ever had and it was the happiest moment of my life.

"I don't have a ring." He admitted. Rings were expensive and being on the run didn't give you a lot of time to go out and get one. Anyways, I could guess that this was a split moment decision for Magnus. Which somehow made it all the better, that he hadn't planned for it, but it was perfect.

"Here." I pulled out two short pieces of string from my pocket and handed one to him.

"Are you sure?" He asked, holding the string.

"If it's from you then it's the most perfect ring in the world." I held out my finger and he tied it in a knot, kissing my hand. "Now hold out your finger." I tied the other string around his finger.

"A promise." He said.

"Yes, a promise that no matter how far you go I will always be here waiting for you and there's nothing you can say that will change that."

"You are perfect." He pushed a strand of hair out of my face. "I promise that no matter how far I go I will always come back to you, no matter what it takes." He lowered his eyes. "With me on the run it might take a while before we can get married."

"As long as I have this promise on my finger that's all I need." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

Aida took Jaspers hand. "Well this is the time for love."

"Yes." Jasper leaned over and kissed her. Arthur was left to quietly laugh to himself. He would find love someday and then he would know how it feels.

"So, you two?" Magnus looked at Jasper and Aida.

"We had quite an adventure last night." I explained. "But that's a story for another time. How long can you stay?"

"I can stay until tomorrow." He held my hands tightly as if he were afraid that if he let go he would loose me. "To be with you."

"Then how long will you be gone?" I didn't want him to go at all. If I knew it were safe then I would go with him, but I had to stay and look after the others. Especially Arthur.

"Maybe a month." He said solemnly. "But I'll be back as soon as I can. I'll look for news on the war with Camelot and I'll find out when it's safe for him to go back."

"We'll talk about that later." I pulled my hands free, putting them on either side of his face and kissed him. "For now let's talk of happier things. We're together and that's all that matters."

In this time of lies and deceit you never know when it will be when you can no longer be together with the ones you love.

**Thank you for reading and please REVIEW!**

**I love hearing what you guys think. Guest I love your review and you. Thank you so much.**

**Hope you keep reading and I will see you next time. **

**Teaser: The title for the next chapter is "What it is to have a mother".  
**


	24. What it is to have a Mother

**Sorry that took longer then I expected. The story is longer then I expected so my next story "The Old Mother" won't be coming for a while. Sorry again about that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

What it is to have a Mother

Magnus left the following morning. I watched him go out the back window, fiddling with the string around my finger. When would he be back? I would count the days in my heart. When I was a child I never thought I would care for someone like this. Most of the boys I knew got a punch in the arm if they ever tried to kiss me. But with Magnus everything is different. He is my hope but every time he leaves I feel that hope leaves as well until he comes back. He will come back. I know it.

I feel a slight tug on my skirt and look down to find Arthur's smiling face looking up at me. I force a smile and squat down to his level so I can look him in the eye without hurting my neck. I take his small hands in mine and swing them left and right. Aida and Jasper were out again. I had protested since it was so soon after the tragedy at the market but they said they needed to get away so I let them go.

"What is it my dove?" I ask him.

"Why do you look sad?" The smile disappeared from my face as he spoke. How could he see through me so easily?

"You are perceptive." I complimented him.

"What is perceptive?" He asked.

"Well…" I thought about it for a moment. I'd never had to describe what perceptive was before. "It means observant and sharp. It means you can see what is not obvious. You can see through people when they are lying for example."

"Why were you lying then?" His question was just so innocent. He had no idea of all the sadness that weighed on my heart and I didn't want him to. He was only a child.

"I just miss Magnus is all." I decided to tell him one of them.

"You two are going to get married." He giggled.

"Yes we are." I smiled, genuinely this time.

"You're going to be Mrs. Magnus." He grinned.

"Yes I am I suppose." I laughed. "You're a funny boy Arthur. Very funny." I began to tickle him. "You make me laugh."

"No stop it." He giggled and fell to the floor, squirming, but I didn't stop.

"Stop what? This?" I tickled him more and he laughed as children do.

"Yes that." He tried to role away but I had him pinned. "As prince of Camelot I command you."

"You have no authority over me here." I laughed. "Here you are just Arthur, and you're a filthy Arthur too. Which reminds me that you, young sir, need a bath. Come on." I pulled him up off the floor. "I'll go poor you some hot water."

Arthur's short blonde hair was the hardest to get clean with all the mud and leaves stuck in it. When was the last time this boy had a bath? I found some carrot as well. At least I think it was carrot.

We were in the kitchen and I had brought out my washing tub where I usually wash the cloths but Arthur was small enough that we could use it as a bath as well. Arthur was sitting in the water with his arms crossed, pouting.

"What, don't like it when people scrub behind your ears?" I asked as I used the cloth to clean behind his tiny ears.

"No." He said.

"Don't you want to be clean?" I asked.

"Boys don't need to be clean." He crossed his arms further.

"Oh they don't do they? Well I think that all little boys should be clean if they want to stay healthy. We don't want them getting sick." I dislodged some dirt from behind his ear. "Do you want to get sick?"

I saw Arthur's arms go slack and his eyes fell. "Father says my mother got sick." He said. "He told me that she got very sick and that's why she had to go away."

"The queen." I had heard that she had died giving birth to Arthur. I had forgotten about that. My eyes too fell and I stopped cleaning Arthur's ear. "Do you miss her?"

"I never got to meet her." He explained. "I don't know what I miss but I wish she were here. Do you have a mother, Joone?"

"I did once." I thought back to the woman I had once called mother before I had lost my memories.

"Did she leave too, like my mother?" He asked.

"No." I said simply. "She was my mother but she did not act like my mother and she did not treat me like her daughter. There was another woman though who cared for me as if I were her own. To me she was more of a mother then my real mother ever was." I went back to cleaning the dirt from Arthur's face.

"So you had two mothers?" Arthur summed it up in his mind.

"In a way." I guess that could be one way to think of it.

"What do mothers do?" He asked.

"They take care of you and love you. They are proud of you and they protect you from harm when you are unable to do so yourself. They sing to you at night before you go to sleep." I remembered my own experience. "They hold your hand while you take your first few steps into the world until you are ready to let go and walk on your own. They prepare you for your future and make you strong."

"I wish I had a mother." Arthur said longingly.

"Was there no one who took care of you?" I was surprised.

"There was but not like that." He did not meet my eye.

"They did not show you a mother's love." I concluded.

"What is a mother's love like?"

"A mother's love is strong and it burns like fire, never going out. A mother would love her son no matter what and hope that he would love her in return. She watches him grow up and cherishes every step he takes as if it were her own. She feels his pain and worries for him." I explained as I cleaned his nose. "When it is time for him to leave home she always finds it hard to let him go but he must discover the world for himself and she knows that she cannot always be there to protect him. A mother's love is forever and undying."

Arthur took this all in. He squinted as I washed over his eyes. "There." I said. "All clean. Lets get you dressed." I helped him out of the tub and back into his cloths, drying his hair with a towel.

In a split second decision he decided to take some of the water from the tub and splash me with it. I was stunned for a moment but then I grinned and splashed him back. He giggled and thus began the splashing war.

"You little." I laughed as I splashed him back. By the end of it both of us were completely drenched but we were still laughing. I got myself under control first and I watched Arthur as he laughed hysterically and I envied him. I envied the way he could laugh forever because a sad thought wouldn't just pop into his mind and put an end to it. That's what made us different.

Time slowed as I watched him and suddenly there was this searing pain at the back of my head. I gasped and fell to my knees. Arthur didn't notice as time completely stopped and he was frozen in the middle of a laugh. The setting around me changed as the walls pealed away and the floor became soft green grass. Arthur faded from my sight, I reached out for him but he was gone.

I was left in the middle of a field I knew all too well. Since my memories had returned I was starting to remember the little things. The memories were violent as they fought to be seen. That's how I found myself here in this familiar place. I knew exactly where to look but I didn't want to. Against my will I turned around. My breath caught in my throat. I shouldn't have been surprised to see her but there she was. My mother, with her long bronze coloured hair falling loosely around her elegant shoulders. My first mother, the one who had been a part of the group who ordered my death, but here she was smiling.

Her eyes met with mine for a moment and she stretched out her arms towards me for me to run into but I stayed where I was. I heard the rustle of little feet running through the grass as a small form passed me. My mother's eyes left mine and she looked down to the small girl running towards her, lifting her into the air and swinging her around. The girl's silver hair was wild in the wind and I heard her giggle. It was a laugh that would soon disappear.

I remember this moment like all the others, but this more then most, because it was the last moment. It was the last time my mother every showed me affection before she realized I was an abomination. It was the last time she treated me like her daughter and truly loved me. A mother should love their child no matter what. That's what I told Arthur. As soon as my mother found out what I was she disowned me and I lost her love. I don't think she realized that I didn't just stop being her daughter but she also stopped being my mother. She had lost me forever.

Tears ran down my face making the memory in front of me run and wash away until I was standing in my house once more. Arthur had stopped laughing and he was now staring up at me with curious eyes.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

"I was just remembering a moment from my past." I told him the truth, mostly.

"What kind of moment?" He pushed.

"Nothing for you to worry about." I wiped a drop of water from his chin. "I'll go get you a change of cloths then I'll make us something to eat."

I had made some new cloths for him out of some old ones Lavania had had lying around. My hands shook as I held the cloths in my hands. I wanted to throw them into the corner and never look at them again but I couldn't. I needed to move on and be strong. Sometimes I just wanted to break down and cry and I did, just not in front of the others. It was always late at night when I knew they were all asleep that I let the tears fall from my eyes.

I slipped the shirt over his head as he complained about how itchy the fabric was but I wasn't paying attention. My mind was still far away and I knew that it was obvious on my face. My usual smile was replaced with a half smile that did not reach my eyes. Arthur didn't understand. He'd ask me what was wrong, the sweet thing, and I would give him a simple answer that he would accept without question. Then he would drop it.

He complained about the food less now and I could already see him loosing some of his princely manners that he had probably learnt at the palace. I couldn't decide if this was a good thing or a bad thing. The way he slurped the stew always made me laugh. I thought of Uther often as I took care of his son. How was he doing? Before this I could have cared less about the king's well being, but after meeting Arthur I started to see things differently. Before I would have gladly run a sword through Uther's heart but then Arthur would have lost both of his parents and I couldn't do that to him. He was so young.

Was Uther going out of his mind with worry for his son? Did he think him dead? That struck my heart. If Arthur were my son and he went missing for this long I don't know how I would be able to hold it together, but Uther was king and he needed to be strong for the rest of the kingdom in the same way that I needed to be strong for my refugees.

The day went by so quickly. Aida and Jasper said that they wouldn't be back until late so I wasn't worrying yet, at least not excessively. I would always worry for them when they were out of my sight.

Arthur and I were sitting by the fire. It wasn't so long ago that I sat here with Hunith when she first brought Merlin here to see me, the other side of the coin. With the crystal heart now inside Arthur there was no escaping his destiny now. I don't know what hardships he will face but I hope the best for him. I can already see that Merlin and Arthur will need each other.

The fire slowly died and I could see Arthur's head begin to nod as sleep was beginning to overtake him. As gently as I could I scooped him into my arms and carried him upstairs to one of the cots. I was about to leave when his little eyes flapped open and he stared up at me.

"Don't go." He said. "I don't want to be alone up here." He looked around with frightened eyes.

"There is nothing to be afraid of up here." I said, lighting one of the candles. "But I will stay until you fall asleep. Move over." I snuggled in next to him under the blanket and took him into my arms. He rested his head against my shoulder.

"Would you…" Arthur hesitated for a moment then went on. "Would you sing to me?"

"Alright, if that's what you want." I searched my mind for the right song. The melody came floating into my mind. It was perfect. So I began to sing. Originally it was Theo, my cousin, who had sung me this song. It was during the winter and we were all huddled around a fire. The next day we would be arriving at the house of my uncle, not Theo's father. It was Lord Stephen and he had no children or wife but he rejoiced every time we came to visit and treated us as if we were his children. He liked me and was the one to take me on my first hunting trip.

Lord Stephen was strong both physically and emotionally. He had a kind heart and our visits had always been the best. I remember wearing a cloak with fur around the collar that he made for me. He told me that he had caught and killed the wolf himself. I wore it every time we came to see him because it was always winter then. We would stay with him for the cold season and then I would miss him the rest of the year.

Unfortunately he died shortly before the order was passed for my execution. He would have fought for me along side Theo. I know it. I miss them both ever so much and wonder if Theo is still out there somewhere. So I sing this for them as well as Arthur.

The song is meant for men to sing but my voice is quite low to begin with so I manage. The song is in no language Arthur would recognize. It is the song of returning home. The story it sings of is that of a knight returning from battle. His wife believes him to be dead. His lady is the first to see him coming over the hill. She drops everything and runs to him, jumping into his arms. He spins her around and the wind sings of their love. I sing the part of the wind as it recounts the story of their love, from the time they first met, their betrothal, to now.

When Theo first sang this song I cried. Lord Stephen had taught me the language in which he sung so I understood. Arthur's eyes are half shut. He can hear the emotion of the song through my voice as I sing to him. The song ends in a kiss as the knight kisses his lady on the top of that hill and they have the rest of their lives together. But Arthur is not asleep.

"Is this what it is?" He asked.

"What, what is?"

"What it is to have a mother." He explained. "I feel safe here and I feel happy. Is that what it's supposed to feel like."

"Do you feel loved?" I asked him.

"Yes." He said sleepily. "Joone, will you be my second mother?"

"I cannot replace your mother." I said as I stroked his blonde hair. "But I will care for you and love you. I will do all I can to protect you. So close your eyes and go to sleep my dove." I told him. "Maybe one day you will grow to become a raven and lead this world into a time of peace and prosperity."

Arthur listens to my words and closes his eyes. I wonder if he understands what I have said. I can feel that the time is coming where I won't be able to hold Arthur in my arms. I hope to see the time of Arthur's reign and to be there for him but I know that I won't. It brings tears to my eyes and breaks my heart. There is a feeling of foreboding in the air, as if some great tragedy is about to befall us.

"I love you Arthur." I whisper into his hair as I kiss the top of his head.

"I love you too, Joone." He speaks before he drifts into a peaceful slumber, not to wake until the sun rises in the sky.

I hold him close and stay with him through the night, not falling asleep until my eyes can stay open no longer.

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW! It would mean the world to me to hear what you all think.**

**I will try to write the next chapter faster but school is taking up most of my time.**

**Thanks and see you next time.**


	25. The Beginning of our Downfall

**I'm sorry at how long this has taken. This one is a bit shorter because of my writers block. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline. **

**Hope you enjoy.**

The Beginning of our Downfall

_Dearest Hunith,_

_I should have written to you sooner but it has been very busy around here lately. I assume you heard about the destruction of the town where the market was that I said we were going to. There is no need to worry. We all got out fine. Well, physically we are all right, but I'm afraid that night can't be unseen. They took Lavania and I'm afraid I will never see her again. The aftershock of the Great Purge may finally be catching up with us. I hope you and Merlin are safe. _

_The last few weeks have not been all tragedy though. He asked me Hunith. Magnus asked me to marry him and I said yes. I wish you could have been there. But I haven't seen him for quite some time and it is making me worry. I hope he is all right. _

_Enough about me though. I want to hear about you. How is everything? Is Merlin growing up well? I wish more then anything I could be there to see him grow. We must have another visit soon. Maybe I will go to Ealdor this time. _

_Your dear friend,_

_Joone_

I watch the messenger leave with my letter in his pocket, wondering when it will be that she reads my words. I miss my friend more then I could say in that letter. I always feel that sending letters may be dangerous. The things I put in them, if the wrong people read it we could all be in serious trouble, but I had to speak with her. I needed her counsel in this time of trouble.

It is early and my refugees are still asleep. I went to check on them not too long ago. They look so innocent when they are sleeping, like this war cannot touch them. Looking at them you would not be able to tell what they had been through and I wish more then anything that they hadn't been through all those things. I fiddle with the string around my finger and worry.

Magnus has been away too long. I've gone too long without a scrap of news. He would have told me if he had planned to be away this long. I mustn't think that something had gone wrong. The sun is rising over the hills in the distance and the others would be rising with it.

There is something else in my hands this morning. A letter. I gave the messenger my letter and today he had one to give to me as well. It isn't from Hunith. On the outside it says it is for a Joone Tellar. That's me I guess, but then I opened it and read the first line. My heart almost stopped.

_Dear Redwing,_

I looked around frantically to see if anyone was looking. Had someone been watching me? I quickly step back inside, close the door, and walk into the sitting room where the fire is burning. The letter couldn't be from Magnus. He'd never write down my secret name on paper where someone could read it and find out the truth.

I look back down at the letter. My eyes fly over the words, and the further I get the wider my eyes become until I reach the last line.

_Our condolences,_

_The Black Feather_

As soon as I read the last word I throw the letter into the fire and I watch it burn like the tears now streaming down my face. They weren't true. Those words couldn't be true. Whoever wrote it was lying, but I knew they weren't. Everything they had said in the letter, only a member could have known.

_Our condolences_

That's what they said. Well I didn't want their pity. I want to have Magnus here standing beside me. But he would never stand beside me again. That's what the letter said. That's what they wrote to tell me.

Magnus went missing a couple weeks ago when they were ambushed. Someone betrayed them. Many went missing, and when they were found it was too late. There is no body they said. No body to bury. There is no hope sparking in my heart at that little fact. It just makes my heart break even more.

I see the letter in the fire as it curls up and turns black, falling apart. I watch until there is nothing left of it and the fire has consumed all of the words. They praised him. He was their leader and a good man. They said that he talked about me often so they thought it only right that I should be told. They would have come in person but the traitor was still out there and they didn't know how much the enemy knew.

The enemy.

Is that what this is now, a fight between good and evil. I never thought of it that way. Yes the actions of Uther Pendragon are all evil and they cannot go unchallenged. But I do not believe the king is the embodiment of evil. The actions are evil and the man is lost. I only wish he could be found. His son needs him, but the hope of bringing him back is slowly fading.

Magnus knew this. He understood. I am afraid now the group will seek revenge and the rest of us will have to bear the consequences. I don't know how many more broken hearts I can handle.

I am still staring at the fire as if I can still see that letter burning and I can't take it. I break down and weep, falling to my knees, my head in my hands. My cries are quiet. Magnus was the embodiment of my hope for a better world but now I must place my hope in others. I didn't want those two boys to be the ones to save this world. It seemed like we would have to wait a hundred years for them to grow up and save us. Now we have no choice but to trust them, knowing that many will be lost along the way, not living to see the world they will someday create.

What was I going to tell the others? I could not keep this from them. I would not lie to them, but the truth will be hard the bear. I am barely holding on as it is as I look down at the little string wrapped around my finger, a promise that he couldn't keep. I would never take it off. It is the only thing I have left of the man I loved.

Suddenly I just feel tired. My body slumps to the side and I am staring at the fire sideways. I can't move as my heart starts to slow down. The spaces between its beats grow longer. My heart has always been weak, ever since I was small. I never told anyone but I feared one day, without warning, it would just give out on me. I lived everyday with that in mind.

I feel so tired now. So much has happened. So much that I cannot take. Maybe it would be nice to take a break from it all, leave it all behind. My eyelids are heavy as they slowly start to shut. Part of me is still fighting to stay awake but the other part has already surrendered.

I am about to give in completely when I hear someone yelling at me. "Wake up!" He yells at me. "It isn't over. You can't let it be over."

The voice jerks me from my frozen state and I sit bold upright. "Magnus." It was his voice, but I know it was only in my mind. My heart beats normally again to a sad rhythm. I would never hear him speak to me again.

I shakily get to my feet and head towards the old cabinet, pushing it to the side. I hesitated for a moment before going up the stairs and wipe the tears from my eyes. The stairs creak slightly as I go up them but when I reach the top they are all still asleep. Innocent in their dreams with no idea of what just happened.

Arthur has the covers wrapped around him tightly. Jasper has his hand outstretched, inches away from Aida's. I lean my back against the wall and slowly slide down it. We have all been hiding for so long but time has flown and they have grown. Jasper and Aida aren't children anymore. They're almost as old as I was when this all started.

I reach down and stroke Arthur's hair but he does not wake. I smile, wishing I could sleep that deeply but memories plague my dreams, forced to live through the best and worst of my life all over again.

He shouldn't be here. He should be at home as Prince Arthur, but instead he's here, hiding like the rest of us. Soon the war would be over and he would be able to return home. I was going to miss him though, when the time finally came. How would I know when that time was now? Magnus was my source for information on the matter. Now what were we going to do?

Maybe I shouldn't tell them. Maybe it would be better if they never knew. The letter was in the fire so there was no evidence. But with such things they would always eventually figure it out. I couldn't keep this from them.

The sun is rising higher in the sky now and they would soon be awake. I didn't want that time to come. I didn't want to see the looks on their faces when I told them because I knew that I would never be able to forget them. They would stay with me forever, like the string on my finger. I would keep the promise it signified for as long as I live, but who knows how long that would be with such situations now arising. It is a chain reaction now. One of us falls and eventually the rest of us fall. How long would we have until we all fall?

I see Arthur squirm beside me as he slowly wakes up. His eyes open and he blinks up at me. I smile at him, the tears already returning to my eyes. He rubbed his eyes with his little hands.

"What is it Joone?" He asked. "Why are you crying?"

I opened my mouth to say but I hesitated as I heard the others stir and wake. Aida sat up first, seeing me in my state. She quickly got up and walked over to sit beside me, wraping her arms around me. It was in her nature to be kind. She didn't even need to know why I was crying.

Jasper followed soon after. I stretched my hand out to him and he took it, joining our little circle. Arthur crawled under my arm and I kissed the top of his head.

Aida was the first to break the silence. "Something has happened, hasn't it?"

"Please Joone." Jasper squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Tell us. We are here for you."

I smiled. "You have such kind hearts. But I'm afraid this is not only my weight to bear. I wish it were."

"What has happened?" Aida held me as I used to hold her when she was younger.

"Its Magnus." More tears escaped my eyes. "I'm so sorry. He isn't coming home this time."

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!**

**I really want to know your views on this. It would really help with writing the rest of it, also for inspiration. The more reviews the faster I write.**

**I am trying to wrap things up so I can move on to my next Merlin story that is tied in with this one. It will be called "The Old Mother". It is also tied in with my other stories "Always", "Mercy", and "Buried". They will each have a teaser at the end. This is the last story to go before I move onto "The Old Mother". I am hurrying now.**

**Hope you keep following because the domino's have begun to fall.**


	26. This Life and the Next

**So sorry at how long this took me to write. I blame writers block and school. I have finally managed to get out some words that I hope you will like.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

This Life and the Next

There has been a dark cloud hanging over the house for the last few days after I told them of Magnus' fate. No one has spoken much, not even Arthur. I try to make myself busy, making pots and cleaning the house. No one comes to visit me so Aida has taken to wandering around the house. Jasper found a way to climb out the window in the attic and then onto the roof, so he has spent much of his time there lately. People rarely look up so it is safe there for him.

Aida has found me several times, broom in hand, just staring out the window that looks out onto the fields and hills behind the house. I haven't spoken really in days other then maybe a few words, and I haven't smiled. Arthur has tried to cheer me up, the sweet thing, but my heart has been broken and it may never heal. I know I should be strong. I have to look after the others, but I just feel myself slowing down, a great weight upon my shoulders that has never been there before. All of the colour seems to be gone from the world.

Aida seems a bit angry with me sometimes, like she wants to yell at me to pull myself together, but she doesn't. She would tell me that I couldn't go on like this. They need me. I cannot let them down. But she hasn't. She is giving me my space and I feel so alone.

I broke a plate the other day. I've never done that before. It just fell out of my hands and smashed against the floor. Aida came running in to see what had happened. She didn't say anything to me. She just came over and picked up the broken pieces of plate. I wish she would say something but she is taking this almost as hard as I am.

We can't go on like this, not for much longer. We would soon have to move on with our lives. I didn't want to. I needed to, but how? Forgetting Magnus was out of the question.

The how would come in a way I did not expect one sunny morning. In a spontaneous decision I decided to go for a walk. It was a nice day and I couldn't stay inside forever. I wrapped a shawl around me to protect me from the wind. I looked back and up at the roof where Jasper was sitting. I knew Aida was inside with Arthur. I saw her in one of the windows, looking out.

I waved to them to tell them I was going out. I walked out into the field and down the way I had gone many a time. My silver hair is hidden from view though I know that no one was looking. My feet know the path all too well. I've been thinking about going there for a while and now I've finally decided it is time to go. I just need to see it one last time then it is over and I will move on. Easier said then done, I know. But I had to try.

It doesn't take me long to get there. That old fence holds so many memories. I can almost see him sitting there, like he used to, waiting for me. This was our meeting place, every time he came back. It is the place I most connect with him and it is the first step I must take. My fingers find it easily, having traced it so many times. Looking at it you would think of children, naïve. An M and a J engraved in the wood. I carved his initial and he carved mine. The last piece of proof of what this place meant to us. One day this fence will fall and no one will know. Maybe it's better that way.

We do all these things behind the scenes. No one even really knows we exist. At least the officials of Camelot don't have specific names. We may be well known amongst the outcasts. The Blackbird and his Redwing. None of them ever met me but they heard the stories. Before Aida we had done so many things. We were even reckless because we had nothing to loose. It was just us. The people I called family after I lost my memory weren't really my parents so we had no connection. Magnus didn't know where his family was. The only people we were putting in danger were ourselves.

It was he and I, the beginning of the organization. Now it is taken out of our hands. I hope that Holt, our Crow, will take his place. He has good morals and I trust him, but I'm afraid he will have to fight for power and prove himself. I may be able to put in a good word for him but I'm not sure what else I can do. I wish I was still the Redwing everyone remembers, but things have changed. I have changed. I will do what I can.

We cannot stay here much longer. If there is a traitor amongst the others in the organization then it is possible that we have been compromised. We will have to move soon, but to where? Magnus was supposed to figure that out. There were so many things I relied on him for. I was wrong to do so.

I climb up onto the fence and sit in my usual spot. I have so many memories from this place. All good things must come to an end. I filled my lungs with air and closed my eyes, going back through my memories. And that's how he found me.

/

He came over the hill. Usually he came through the forest but because of recent events he had to take another path. He looked down over the familiar sight and sighed with relief. He had finally made it. He was finally home. His eyes scanned the landscape until they landed on a spot he remembered with such fondness. It was the bit of the fence where he used to meet Joone, his lovely Joone. He had missed her. The thought of her was what kept him going. He couldn't afford to give up, not while she was waiting for him.

But that bit of fence wasn't empty. There was someone sitting there. He didn't recognize them at first, but as he got closer his heart started to beat faster. It was her.

It had been so long since he had seen her he almost imagined he would never see her again. The others he had been with told him that no one was willing to wait that long for someone. Well they had never met Joone. She was different. She was strong and he trusted her with his life.

Redwing. Stories had spread about her. She was also referred to as the Mother of Birds. They said she would come and she would protect them. He smiled every time they talked about her and added in a few stories of his own. She would do anything for her little birds.

He had planned to tell her these stories the next time he saw her but there were complications. They were ambushed. He wasn't stupid. He knew someone had betrayed them, someone he had trusted. He had been separated from the rest of the group as they scattered. They came out of nowhere and cut down so many. He almost thought this was it. It was over. But then he thought of Joone and he was back on his feet, running through the forest for his life as they were hunted down. He didn't know what happened to the others and hoped they were all safe.

But all he could think of now was the girl he saw sitting on the fence. Though she wasn't a girl anymore. He willed her to turn around but she did not move. So he would have to move instead. He suddenly found himself running at full speed down the hill, not caring how much noise he was making, but he stopped abruptly half way when she started to turn around. Her eyes met his and they became caught in that moment.

Her eyes widened and for a moment she could not believe what she was seeing. It wasn't possible. They told her he was surly dead. She hadn't wanted to believe that either. What was she supposed to feel now, because here he was, against all odds? Her Magnus.

Without a word, she jumped over the fence and ran towards him and he towards her. They met half way. She threw her arms around him and he lifted her into the air, spinning her around. They laughed and cried together.

"They said you were never coming back." Joone cried into his hair.

"I could never leave without saying goodbye to you." Magnus put her down and looked deep into her eyes.

"Don't you ever say goodbye." She smiled up at him. "What happened?"

"We were ambushed and I lost track of the others. The only thing I could think of was getting back to you." He cupped the side of her face with his hand and she placed her hand over it, leaning in.

"I thought I'd lost you." Joone closed her eyes.

"Everything is alright now. We are together. That's all that matters." He lifted her chin, leaned in, and kissed her.

"I must be dreaming." Her voice was a whisper.

"Then it is a perfect dream." They stood there for a moment in each other's arms, surrounded by nothing but the sound of the wind. Magnus too wondered if this was a dream, but even in the middle of a war there can be times that just seem perfect and they can be real.

"You came back to me." Joone buried her head in his chest.

"I will always come back to you, no matter where I go." He held up the hand that had the string wrapped around one of his fingers. "We promised to be together and I plan on keeping that promise."

They both raised their heads when they heard the sound of people running towards them. Three small forms came towards them across the field. The three of them had smiles on their faces. The smallest was stumbling to keep up.

"Magnus!" Aida called, a big grin on her face. Jasper ran close behind, panting. Aida jumped on Joone and Magnus, wrapping her arms around them. Jasper hesitated but Joone pulled him into the hug. Arthur just ended up hugging people's legs, but he was happy all the same to see everyone else so happy.

/

That night we all found oursleves in the familiar basement of Narayan. There were smiles on everyone's faces. This kind of get together had never been often. Not only were we overjoyed with Magnus' return but also that we got to spend time all together. Everyone was there, even Holt who looked like he was about to cry. Fionn smiled and took his hand; she still wore the necklace we all had given her. The two of them had grown very close over the years. I smiled at the sight of them together.

Magnus and I stayed close by each other the entire night, not wanting to be far from the other ever again. We sang and danced that night. Magnus pulled me onto my feet and out onto the small dance floor. I laughed as we tried to dance. It wasn't graceful.

Narendra pulled out his lute and began to play some traditional songs while the rest of us tried to remember the dance movements for it. The room filled with laughter as we stumbled, running into each other, trying to remember where to put our feet. Magnus span me around the room. I saw Holt dip Fionn, planting a quick kiss on her soft lips. He pulled her up and I could see her cheeks had gone bright pink with their stolen kiss.

Aida forced Jasper to dance. They both looked at their feet as they worked out the steps. Though I saw Aida look up from time to time, stealing a glance at Jasper without him knowing.

Olwen had Arthur in her arms and he giggled as she swung him around. Time seemed to slow as I watched them, smiles on their innocent faces. Time snapped back as Narendra finished one song and moved onto the next. This one was slower and did not have complicated movements. Instead the couples in the room just seemed to sway back and forth in each other's arms. In that moment everything seemed perfect.

Olwen put Arthur down for this song. She danced for a moment on her own. Her movements were graceful and elegant, like she was born to dance. She stopped though and went to sit by Narendra as he played. Then she leaned in and whispered something in his ear. He nodded and strummed the final cord.

"Olwen has just suggested a grand idea." He announced. "Time is fleeting these days and if we don't take advantage of this moment then we may never get another chance." Where was he going with this? "As you all know two of us here have been engaged." His eyes fell on Magnus and me. "When we heard that Magnus was never coming back then we feared we would never have the wedding we had all been planning for." Everyone laughed at that.

"What do you mean planned wedding?" I had heard nothing about this.

"It was to be a surprise." Aida came to stand next to me.

"The two of you have done so much for all of us." Jasper explained. "We wanted to repay you."

"We had planned it differently." Fionn said.

"But why not take advantage of this moment." Olwen had a twinkle in her eye. "Though it might have been better to not have had the ceremony in a basement."

"No, this place is perfect." We had had so many happy memories down here. It seemed only right.

"But we do not have anyone to marry us." Magnus was confused.

"Oh, but we do." Olwen grinned and looked to Narendra.

"I married quite a few couples back home." He explained. "So, the question is would you like to get married?"

"Yes." Magnus and I answered in unison. We had known each other for over four years and we could not wait any longer. The king's hunt for magic made time unpredictable and we may never get another chance.

"Excellent." Narendra gestured for both of us to step forward. "Then it will be my pleasure to join you two forever." Forever. I like the sound of that. But how long would our forever be?

So Narendra spoke the words that would bind us. My heart pounded. It was finally happening. I almost thought this day would never come but here we were, where we should be. Magnus and I turned to look into each other's eyes. We spoke the words together then.

"I will love you always in this life and the next. Even if we are worlds apart our hearts will forever be together. Not even war could break this love. We are forever and always." Narendra took a ribbon from his pocket and tied it around both of our wrists, binding us together. We didn't have proper rings so we left the string tied around our fingers.

"I bind these two together in love and marriage. Not even death can break them apart." Narendra tied to knot. His words were different from the traditional ones but I liked them better. "Kiss her Magnus." He patted Magnus on the back. Everyone laughed. Magnus took me in his arms and dipped me. Then he kissed me.

"I love you Joone." He whispered in my ear as he brought me back to the standing position.

"In this life and the next." I whispered back. It was our promise of always.

Narendra took up his lute again and began to play a lively tune. With our hands still tied together, Magnus and I danced. I wish Hunith and Merlin could have been there. It would have made the night all the more perfect, but still I was happy, happier then I had been in a long time. We laughed, danced, and sang into the night, not ever wanting to go home. We forgot all about the war going on outside. For now it was just us.

It was a night not easily forgotten, because it was a last night. Danger was far from our minds. Fear was not in our hearts. We were all together and we were happy. That's what counted. None of us knew it then but it would be the last time.

The night I was married was the last time all of us were together. It was our last happy moment.

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW! It would be much appreciated if you did and it might help me write faster.**

**I'm trying to get this story done as fast as I can. Thanks to everyone who has followed, favorited, and reviewed so far. I love you all.**

**Hope you keep following because the events to come will determine Joone's fate.**


	27. Parting Ways

**Got this one written faster then I thought I would.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Parting Ways

"Uther ended the war." Magnus said. "The one he was fighting with a neighbouring kingdom."

"Arthur can go home." I said, understanding his meaning. We were sitting on our spot on the fence. It should have been happy news but I felt my heart fall when he said it. "Why didn't you tell me last night?"

"I didn't want to ruin the party." He explained. "We should all go. It isn't safe here anymore."

"It's been our home for the past four years." I looked back at the house where Aida and the others must still be sleeping. It was too early for anyone to be awake but here we were.

"It will be hard to leave behind." He looked at me with his warm eyes.

"You should know. You left enough times." It came out harsher then I had intended.

"It was never easy." I could see that I had hurt him.

"I know." I said as I took his hand. I had torn the ribbon that had bound us together the night before in half with my teeth and we had wound it around the wrists that Narendra had tied them around, Magnus' left wrist and my right.

"I have found a place." He assured me. "Somewhere where we can all be safe."

"What about Arthur?" I came back to the first problem. "We can't send a letter to Uther that will bring him here and to the others." I pointed back at the house. "That would only put them in danger. And we cannot leave Arthur to fend for himself."

"What do you suggest?" Magnus looked at me expectantly.

"Someone has to take him back." I said, looking away.

"Who?" Magnus asked, but seeing that I would not meet his eyes he knew the answer. "You."

"I am more then capable to get him to Camelot myself. No one will be looking for us." I tried to reassure him.

"I know. I know." He held my hand tightly. "But I've only just found you again."

"You won't be loosing me." I met his eyes. "You will lead the others to safety and I will take Arthur back to his father. The joy at seeing his son should keep him off your trail for a while."

"You know we have a traitor amongst the organization." Magnus lowered his head.

"I could piece that much together." I said. "We'll make a rendezvous point and I will meet you there. It will be a place only you and I know."

"What about the Stone?" He suggested. It was a clearing somewhere in the woods, I knew the place, and there was a single stone in the center. The sun shone through the trees in such a way that it only fell on the stone as if it were a pedestal for some great monument.

"No one goes there." I saw his reason. "It sounds perfect. No other members know of that place?"

"None." He assured me. "It was our place."

It was the place where we had first decided on the idea of the Black Feather. That place just seemed to be filled with such knowledge of destiny. Somehow you just knew that it was a place of legend as soon as you stepped foot into the clearing. Prophecy was tied to that place.

"Then I will meet you there. Lead the others to the safe place first then come find me in three days time." I kissed him lightly on the cheek. "And not a day longer."

"We should leave before the king sends out troops again to look for his son." Magnus hopped off the fence. "We should leave today, when the sun sets."

"So soon?" I came down next to him. I did not think we would have to leave so quickly.

"I'm sorry Joone." He slipped his hand into mine.

"No, we knew what we were getting ourselves into." I gently squeezed his hand. "We knew this day would come."

"We just didn't think it would be so soon." He read my mind. "At least we have one last day here."

"We should wake the others soon." We started to walk back to the house, hand in hand.

"Married one day and already our paths must twist away from each other."

"In hopes that they will twist together once more."

We woke the others shortly after arriving back at the house and told them the plan. Magnus snuck over to Narayan's to tell them. There would not be much to prepare. We needed to travel light so we would not be bringing much. I took the last of the money I had earned from my pots. It should be enough.

I found the small package I had hidden under a loose floorboard in my bedroom, opening it to reveal a set of cloths. My hand ran over the fabric that I had hidden away almost four years ago. I had put the garments away when I had started to concentrate more on protecting Aida. I could not be so reckless anymore.

Now I would adorn them again. They were the cloths of the ghost that was Redwing. I could not very well fight in a dress. I exchanged my skirts for a pair of greenish brown trousers. I slipped a light brown tunic over my head and wrapped a green jacket around my shoulders. The jacket had a small cap attached to it at the neck and it fell to just bellow my shoulders. There were many patches sewn on all over the clothes, each a memory of running through the forest and fighting. I remember the adrenalin.

I tied a short scarf around my neck and then took one of the small knives that I would be carrying with me. I put the blade to my silver hair that fell around my shoulders and in one quick movement cut it off, letting the hair fall to the floor. I covered my now short hair with a simple olive coloured cap that clung tightly to my head.

I took a long walking stick from the corner of my room and slipped on my flimsy brown boots. I went to find Arthur dressed in traveling clothes. He wore a simple, what used to be, white shirt and brown pants. He had a blue cloak wrapped around his shoulders with the hood covering his blonde hair. I draped a satchel over my shoulder that contained our provisions.

"Are you ready." I asked him and he nodded. "Is everything okay Arthur? There is no need to look so sad. We are taking you back to your father."

"I do wish to see my father." Arthur looked up at me. "But it means I will leave all of you doesn't it?"

"I'm afraid so. But it is not safe for you here anymore. We're all leaving, same as you." I knelt down in front of him.

"I don't like saying goodbye." Tiny tears appeared in his eyes.

"I understand." I took his small hands in mine. "You have to be strong now Arthur and I know you can be brave."

"Will I ever see any of you again?" He asked in his small voice.

"Oh I hope so." I kissed his hands. "I really hope so. Come on we cannot leave the others waiting." I stopped in front of the old cabinet before going out the front door.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Wait here Arthur. I just need to see something." I pushed the cabinet out of the way and made my way up those old steps one last time. I had to see it before I left. This attic had held all our secrets and the cabinet had been the lock that had protected them, my little birds.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Aida coming up the stairs. She stopped when she saw me. I reached out my arms to her and she ran into them. I held her close as she began to cry and I kissed the top of her head. She had grown so much over the last few years into a young lady. My little birds were now leaving the nest.

We stood in the middle of the attic together with our memories dancing around us. We had spent so many times up here and now we were leaving. Though the attic also represented something of a prison for all of us. Locked up here while their kind was being hunted. Those mad men catch the slightest sent of magic and they go charging out with swords drawn, ready to slay for their king.

"Do you remember the night Magnus brought you to me?" I asked Aida, still holding her tight.

"I remember it every night in my dreams." Her voice was soft.

"Do you ever wish you had not been brought here?" I asked her.

"I cannot imagine a better place Magnus could have taken me." She pulled away and looked up at me. "My life might have been shorter had I not met you. You saved me Joone. I wish you were coming with us."

"It isn't for long. I will see you again." I put my hands on either side of her face. "There is no need to worry. Keep safe, keep warm and stay healthy. Don't let any sickness through the door." I remember the woman I considered my true mother saying those words to me when I left to come here.

"You too." We descended the stairs together. We left with Arthur to go meet up with the others on the edge of town. The sun was setting in the sky. We walked away from that house and we never looked back.

They were there waiting for us and they smiled when they saw us coming. I looked out to the road we would soon be taking and remembered the letter I had sent that morning. It was the last letter I sent to Hunith. I couldn't leave without telling her. The words I wrote her weren't very detailed but I knew she would understand. I wished her and Merlin well.

"Well you best be on your way." Narayan smiled.

"You're not coming with us?" Olwen looked alarmed.

"Well someone has to be here to cover for Joone." He glanced towards me.

"I will miss you." Narendra grasped Narayan's arm as a brother. Fionn and Olwen ran forward and embraced him. "As will we." They said together.

"Until we meet again." He told them.

"Thank you Narayan for all you have done for us." I thanked him.

"Be safe." I almost saw tears in his eyes.

We left then before anyone could see us leave. We walked together until we came to a fork in the path. Arthur and I were going towards Camelot and the others were going in the opposite direction. Arthur went around hugging everyone and saying goodbye.

Something felt wrong about the goodbyes I was giving. I said them thinking I was going to see them all again. But still there were tears. I held Aida the longest. She was my little Songbird.

Magnus planted a kiss on my lips that I would savor and he gave me one of his crooked smiles. Our goodbyes could have gone on forever but we needed to go before the light was completely gone. So I took Arthur's small hand and headed down the road to Camelot.

"See you soon." I called out to them but the words tasted bitter in my mouth.

I looked back to meet Magnus' eyes. I looked back again further down the road but then they were all just a dark clump in the distance. I had the sickening feeling that none of us were safe. Not yet.

I would remember their faces until I died. I should have known that I would never see most of them again.

**Thank you for reading and please REVIEW!**

**Hope you keep following for Camelot awaits.**


	28. Teddy

**Okay this is a long one to make up for not updating a lot lately. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Teddy

I hadn't been this far since before the purge. It felt nice just to keep walking and not fear that you've gone too far. I wasn't on my own though. Arthur walked beside me. We had been traveling for a day and would soon arrive in Camelot. Arthur had been strangely quiet for the entire journey. He was still young, not even five. I would have to carry him quite often when he became too tired.

When one is that young you just assume that they won't understand what is happening, but sometimes they do. I wish Arthur didn't understand some things. I want to protect him. He's too young for this world. His father has made it more difficult for him to grow up and develop his own beliefs. I fear for his future. He needs someone to guide him but also give him room to grow on his own. His father cannot give that to him. Not now.

Arthur looks so small, walking next to me. I miss his voice and his young laughter. He doesn't notice when I stop walking. His head is bent and he looks only at the ground. He just keeps walking while I am frozen in place, watching him walk away. A strange feeling of déjà-vu comes over me and tears that I do not understand come to my eyes. What memory is this that brings upon such tears of tragedy? Somewhere at the back of my mind there is another boy, a little older then Arthur, walking away from me.

My memories are still not what they used to be. The scene before me changes and I see him. He looks to be maybe eight years old. He walks with a limp and the cloak that he wears is torn. I was fourteen and on the run. It was right before I lost my memory. This is the last one that I lost, him walking away from me. I can see the back of his head and his messy brown hair. I remember the summer we spent together and how much I wanted to protect him. He'd be sixteen now.

He didn't know what I was or why I was running. I remember him insisting on coming with me. He told me that he didn't have anyone. So I couldn't send him back because there was nowhere for him to go back to. I told him that it was dangerous but still he followed me. Finally I gave in and let him come. I shouldn't have. I know I shouldn't have.

How could I have forgotten him? Teddy. It was short for Edward but he never liked that name. He once said that he wanted to be just like me and go on adventures, but he didn't know the truth about me. If he did he wouldn't have wanted to be anything like me. My adventure was more of a nightmare and I had dragged him right into the middle of it.

Teddy had said that he loved to run. It made him feel alive. He enjoyed running next to me, not caring what we were running from. I remember the last time I saw him. He had been quiet, like Arthur. My pursuers had finally caught up with us. I could tell, but I didn't tell Teddy. I wanted him to come with me but I couldn't put his life in danger, so I let him go.

We were headed to a nearby village. He knew the way. We were walking in a forest much like this one and he was walking a little bit in front of me. He didn't notice when I stopped. He kept walking and I stole of a few seconds to watch him, and then I slipped behind a tree. I held my breath. He went a few more feet before sensing that something was wrong.

He turned around and I was gone. I can still hear his voice as he called out my name. I didn't come out of my hiding place and there was where I waited. I listened until I heard him walk away. He called out my name one last time and then started running. I came out from behind the tree and watched him until he disappeared into the trees. He would never forgive me for what I did. I just hoped one day he would understand why.

The vision of him faded and was replaced by the form of Arthur still moving further away. I jogged to catch up with him. It wouldn't be long now before we arrived in Camelot. Only this time Arthur knew that I wouldn't be there for him.

My thoughts were cut off when I heard shouts and the sound of metal clashing against metal. Arthur heard it too, and stopped. His eyes grew wide and he looked up at me. Acting on instinct, I took him by the hand and led him over to a hollow tree.

"Hide here." I told him. "Don't come out until I come back for you."

"What if you don't come back?" Fear was written all over his small face.

"I'll be fine." I gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. "Just stay safe. I won't be long."

"But Joone…" He started, but I was already gone. I had to keep whoever they were away from Arthur. I had to get him back to Camelot no matter what. Our futures depended on it.

I slipped one of my small knives from my boot and slowly made my way over to the source of the noise. I hid behind a bush and peaked through its leaves to see what was happening. There were three men and a boy. Two of them were holding the boy whose short sword lay on the ground where it had fallen when the other man had disarmed him. The third man aimed a good punch into the boy's stomach. The boy doubled over and gasped.

"You're not so tough." The man spat at him. He couldn't have been older then sixteen. "Stupid sorcerer." He hit him again, this time punching him in the face. The boy's eyes flickered, that last punch had almost knocked him unconscious. The man pulled back his arm to hit him again.

"That's enough." I came out of my hiding place, grasping my knife in my right hand. I tried to look as tall and menacing as possible. The man's fist stopped mid swing and he turned to look at me. He sized me up and laughed.

"What, are you going to stop me?" His laugh was disgusting. "You're nothing but a scrawny…" He stopped and looked closer. "You're a woman."

"Yes, you blind oaf." I gripped my knife tighter. "And you are nothing but a fat tormenter who thinks that beating up those smaller then you makes you look strong. In my opinion it makes you look weak."

"I'll beat you for that. A weak woman has no right to such a tongue." His face was red with anger.

"Well as a weak woman, I can tell you that you're going to end up dead in a pit somewhere at the rate you're going." I stood strong. I wasn't going to cower under his threats. "And I would be honoured to be the one who put you there."

"Do you know who I am?" He growled.

"Do you know who I am?" I countered.

"I am Grandal. They tell stories about my strength. I can break a man in two if I wish. I could break you with one hand tied behind my back." He cracked his knuckles and took a step towards me.

"Never heard of you. You haven't done anything worth remembering." I crossed my arms, looking at ease. This annoyed him.

"Even sorcerers fear me. That stupid organization, what is it, the Black Feather don't even stand a chance against me." He smirked, seeing that this last statement unsettled me. "Uther himself has paid me handsomely for the intelligence I've gotten on them. I have one of my men posing as one of them. The fools."

"The traitor." I spoke under my breath.

"What was that deary?" He put one of his filthy hands behind his ear. "What did you say?"

I just lost it. Knife in hand, I charged him, pinning him against a tree. He was so stunned that he didn't fight back. I put my blade to his neck. One of the men with him let go of the boy and drew his knife.

"Take another step and I'll slit his throat." I threatened, turning back to look into the shocked eyes of Grandal. "You should watch what you say. You never know who you might be telling."

"Who have I told?" He asked, starting to sweat.

"I've been trying to figure out who could have betrayed us. Now it looks like it will be easier then I thought." I grinned menacingly.

"You're with the organization?" His eyes grew wider.

"What, a weak woman like me couldn't possibly be one of them? There are a lot of things you don't know, because you're stupid." My gaze burned into him. "Who is the traitor?"

"You're a fool to think I would just tell you." He wouldn't meet my gaze.

"I thought the knife to your neck might change your mind." I pushed it into his neck enough to draw blood. "Good people died because of what you did. And many more will suffer."

"That was the plan. They disserved what they got." He spat. "The filthy magic lovers."

"You disserve worse, and I have a mind to kill you right here and now." I shouted. "But lucky for you I still need information. So if you don't want me to go ahead with killing you and your friends then you better start talking."

Grandal hesitated for a moment, but seeing the look in my eyes he could tell I was serious. "His name is Cedric and he's been undercover there for almost a year, trying to get as close as he can to their leader. Some guy they call Blackbird." He spilled. "He's been sending information to us by raven."

I searched my mind for the name. I knew I had heard it before. Then it clicked. "The Vulture?" Magnus had said he was one of their best.

"Is that what they're calling him?" Grandal laughed. "It suits him."

"How much do you know?" I pressed. "How much information has he sent you?"

"I don't know much. I'm just the middle man." He tried to defend himself. "He's sent enough information for them to put together an ambush that happened a while back. That's all I know."

"What about secret identities?" I shot another question.

"Just that they all go by code names that are birds. He's working on finding out who some of them really are. I think he's worked out a couple."

"Which ones?" I kept the fear out of my voice.

"He sounded really excited in his last message. He said he had finally discovered the true identities of the big ones. 'The Originals' he called them." His voice was starting to shake. "The two who started the organization. He knows who Blackbird and Redwing are."

My heart almost stopped. How could he have found out who I was? I was barely around the organization. Magnus was the one acting as commander on the front lines. Why should I matter so much?

"Tell me their names." I almost whispered. "Do you know their names? Has the message been sent to Uther?"

"I still have the message. He named Blackbird as a Magnus Fedele, but said he had gone missing in the last ambush and was most likely dead."

"And Redwing?" My heart was pounding in my chest.

"He named her as Joone Tellar, but he's never seen her." Grandal told me. I saw the boy's eyes widen. He looked like he was about to say something but the man holding him punched him in the stomach to shut him up.

"He may be seeing her soon and he will wish he hadn't. Give me the message." I ordered him. He slipped his hand slowly into his pocket and produced a small scroll. I snatched it from his fat fingers and threw him to the ground. He scrambled away, his friend helping him to his feet. I opened the scroll and found that he was telling the truth. I sighed with relief. Uther didn't know.

"Give me back the message." I turned to face them and this time surprise wasn't on my side. He had his sword in his hand and all I had was my knife. One of his goons was still holding the boy who looked like he was about to pass out. It was two against one. I'd like to say that I'd never been in this situation before but it was a familiar sight.

"No. Uther isn't getting his hands on this message, and if you know what's good for you then just walk away and forget everything." I tried to sound confident.

"If you won't give it to me then we will take it from you by force." He advanced; there was a murderous gleam in his eyes. I had embarrassed him.

Killing was not in me so I turned my blade sideways. He lunged and I sidestepped, hitting him with the flat of my blade hard on the arm. He growled and swiped at me with his sword. I jumped back, the tip just inches from my stomach. This couldn't be his best. He was still underestimating me and I had had enough of the world blowing up in my face.

I'm not quite sure what happened next, but when I came to Grandal and one of his friends were knocked out on the ground. There was no blood and they were still breathing. It could have been a lot worse. The man still holding the boy looked at me with wide eyes.

"Who are you?" He asked.

I wanted to tell him who I was but that was my secret and these men already knew too much. "None of you business. When your friends wake up tell them that if they breath a word of what was said in that message then we are going to have another talk and I won't be using the flat side of my blade. Is that understood?" He nodded.

"Give me the boy and I will leave you with your lives." I reached out my hand towards him.

"But he is a sorcerer and Uther would pay a good price for him. You have already taken enough from us." It sounded like he was bagging. "Just leave us the boy."

"Not a chance. Uther will kill him." In only a few long strides I was standing next to them. "Let him go."

He pushed the boy into my arms, and with my support, we left the three men. I hoped I would never see them again and that they would take my warning seriously. Once I return Arthur to Camelot, Cedric and I were going to have a little talk.

I helped the boy back to the tree where I had left Arthur. I found him inside with his arms wrapped around his knees. He jumped up when he saw me. "You're okay!"

"Told you I'd come back." I lent the boy against the tree where he slid down, clutching his stomach.

The adrenalin I had had before was gone. I staggered and was forced to use a tree as support as well. "Wow. I haven't done that in a long time. I'm a bit rusty." I went to help the boy, but when he looked up at me my breath caught in my throat. This was the first time I had properly seen his face and yet this was not the first time I'd seen him.

"Thank you." He managed to get out. "You saved my life. My name's Edward by the way." He groaned as he pushed himself up into a standing position.

I was silent. My surprise must have been clearly written on my face. Was it coincidence that I had only just remembered him moments before or was it triggered by him?

"What is it?" He asked.

He didn't recognize me, not that I was surprised. I wasn't that girl he knew anymore. Since the last time I'd seen him so much had happened, and I grew up. I was probably almost unrecognizable with my hair hidden under my hat and mud smeared across my face. He had grown as well, but I still knew it was him.

I didn't know what to do. If I told him who I was I would risk putting him in danger, but from what I had just seen he was already in danger. I thought he would be safe when I left him that day in the woods. At least he's alive and breathing, but he couldn't stay here.

"Well, thanks again, but I'd better be on my way." He turned and started to limp away.

"I thought you didn't like being called Edward." I found myself saying. That made him stop. Slowly, he turned around to face me.

"Hello Teddy." I smiled. "It's been a while."

"Joone?" He couldn't believe it. "But…I thought…" The complete look of shock on his face was surprising. What had he thought?

"Teddy?" Either he was going to stab me for leaving him or break down. What scared me the most was the fact that he was doing neither.

"It isn't possible. I'm seeing things again." He turned around and started walking away. "Just another hallucination."

"You've been seeing things?" I followed him with Arthur close behind me. "Teddy wait!" I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him but he shook it off. At least it got him to turn and face me.

"I looked for you!" He yelled suddenly. "I followed your tracks like you taught me. It worked. I did find you when you were trapped on that cliff."

"You were there?"

"I was hiding in the bushes and I saw you fall." There were tears in his eyes. "I wished everyday after that that I hadn't been such a coward. What if I could have saved you?"

"There was nothing you could have done for me except to stay safe. They would have killed you." I placed my hands on his shoulders. "You did the right thing."

"You don't feel like an hallucination." He almost smiled. "I finally understood why you left me when I saw those people. I wanted to be bitter about it, but you were just trying to protect me." He lowered his head. "But if you survived why didn't you come find me?"

"I couldn't come find you. To everyone I knew I was dead. I was even dead to myself." I explained. "I couldn't because I had lost all my memories."

"You lost your memories?" He looked up at me.

"Finally got them back though." I smiled at him. "Finally remembered, enough about that though. What are you doing here?"

"Running, still." He wiped his tears away with the back of his dirty hand. "You? I hear that you're Redwing. I've heard stories of her. You've gotten around."

"It hasn't been easy. Almost had a normal life, but you know me. It just couldn't last." I put my hands on my hips, putting my weight into my left foot. "I have a family now."

"Oh?" Teddy looked a little envious, but still happy. He looked over at Arthur. "Is he?"

"No." I quickly answered. "I don't have kids."

"But you're married?" Did he look hopeful?

"Yes." I confessed, showing him the string around my finger.

"Who's the unlucky guy?" He got a punch in the arm for that.

"His name is Magnus."

"Blackbird?" He was surprised. "How long?"

"A couple days." We laughed at that.

"Why aren't you with him now?" He asked.

I hesitated. Should I tell him about Arthur? But this was Teddy. I could trust him. "I'm taking Arthur here back to Camelot."

"Camelot. Isn't that place a little dangerous for someone like you?" He looked at me questioningly and then down at Arthur. "Arthur. Isn't that the same name as the pri…" Then it dawned on him. "Tell me he isn't."

"It's a long story. Maybe I'll have time to tell you along the way." I smirked at the look on his face. "You are coming, right?"

"No way am I letting you go by yourself."

"We better get going." I started walking in the direction of Camelot.

"Of course. We fugitives are always welcome in Camelot." The sarcasm in his voice reminded me of the younger Teddy. He hadn't changed. "Yep, lets just walk through the front gate. Nothing can go wrong there."

It took us the better half of the day to get to Camelot. Longer then I had expected. We had to go slower because of Teddy's injuries. I tried to patch him up as best I could but it would take time to heal. We finally reached the gates, where we were stopped by the guards. Teddy seemed awfully calm about the situation, like he was used to lying. I wouldn't be surprised.

"State your business." They ordered.

"We seek an audience with the king." I told them.

"The king has no time to meet with you." I could hear the disgust in his voice, as he looked us over. We were nothing but stinking, penniless peasants to him.

"Then I guess you will have to explain to him why you turned away his son." Teddy shrugged. "Come on." We turned to leave.

"Wait!" The guard sounded flustered. "Did you mention the prince?"

"This is he." I pushed Arthur forward lightly.

"I am Arthur Pendragon, prince of Camelot." The announcement sounded a bit funny in his small voice.

"Can you prove it?" The guard asked warily.

"The king will know his son when he sees him. I understand that he has been searching for him. Do not make him wait any longer." I was impressed with Teddy. He was good.

"Very well." He let us pass and sent one of his friends to take us to the king.

I had never been inside the great walls of Camelot, let alone inside the citadel. The halls were huge and I couldn't imagine them being able to fill every room. Why did they need so many? Not even the manor I was born in was this big. The guard led us to two large double doors.

"Wait here." He ordered us, and then slipped inside. We waited.

Suddenly the large doors swung open and we were staring into a huge room with a long table in the center. Rich looking men sat around it. They sat up straight when they saw us. For a moment I wanted to turn and run from their gaze, but I stood my ground. We must look like nothing to them.

The man at the end got up and walked over to us. He was followed by a few of his knights like bodyguards. He didn't trust us. Not that I was surprised. We didn't exactly look like trustworthy people, all covered in mood and Teddy in his injured state.

"I've been told you found my son." I could tell that he was trying to act calm and kingly but worry for his son was showing and the hope of his return.

"Yes, we've been keeping him safe while you were at war." I explained, but I didn't tell him where we had kept him. "Go on Arthur." I pushed him towards his father.

"Hello father." Uther met him half way and I could see tears in his eyes. So this was Uther, the evil king of Camelot. I guess I imagined him to be more stonehearted. But my image of the man I thought he was supposed to be wavered as he knelt and wrapped his big arms around his son.

"I was so worried about you." He kissed his sons head, not caring that Arthur was dirty. "I thought I might have lost you."

"I'm okay." Arthur cried. "I'm home."

"Who do I have to thank?" Uther looked up at Teddy and me.

"My name is Angela and this is my brother Peter." I lied. Uther didn't know what we were but one could never be too carful. I could feel the message intended for Uther in my pocket, the one that he would never receive.

"You must be rewarded for this." He insisted.

"No, seeing that Arthur is safe is reward enough."

"How can I thank you?"

"Just with your words." I told him.

"Thank you." He said, getting to his feet, Arthur's little hand in his.

"It was our pleasure. Just keep him safe." Teddy and I turned to leave.

"Don't go!" I heard Arthur call. I turned back just in time to see him let go of his father's hand and run after us. He wrapped his small arms around my legs. "Do you really have to go?"

"I'm afraid so." I knelt down so I was looking him in the eye.

"I don't want you to go." He cried. My maternal instincts caused me to wrap my arms around him.

"I only wish we could've spent more time together. It wasn't long enough." Tears pricked my eyes but I would not allow them to fall. "You have to be strong now Arthur. Can you do that, for me?"

"I'd do anything for you. Joone." He whispered my name in my ear so his father could not hear.

"Keep our secret safe. Promise me to keep it safe." I whispered.

"I promise." His little arms tightened around me, not wanting to let go. "You were like a mother to me."

"I wish you could always be with me so I could take care of you, but you know it's too dangerous." I held the back of his head. "Stay safe and don't ever forget us."

"I won't." But I knew that in a few years these events may all be a blur to him.

"Goodbye Arthur." I stood, letting go of him. He watched in silence as Teddy and I left. I kept looking back and he was still standing in the same place, watching us go.

Teddy and I left Camelot. Maybe one day I would return to this place. Maybe I would see Arthur again, but that wasn't going to be for a very long time.

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	29. Leaving You Behind

**I was quite a bit faster on this one. I always seem to have writing days where I can just keep going and then have writers block for the rest of the week.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Leaving You Behind

Teddy and I made our way towards the rendezvous point where we would meet Magnus. Teddy still walked with a bit of a limp, his wounds still hurting him. Along the way we caught up on a few things. Teddy told me about his adventures. He told me about his travels and I told him about Aida and the others.

"I never felt like I could stay in one place." He told me. "I just had to keep moving. Just couldn't sit still."

"You always did like to run." I smiled.

"Had a few close calls but somehow I always managed to keep going." He stared at the ground. "Who were those people?"

"What people?" I asked.

"The ones who had you surrounded the last time I saw you." His voice grew quiet. "What had you done that made them chase you so far?"

"They hunted me because I had stolen something from them." I explained. "I thought I could out run them, but I was wrong."

"What was it that you stole?" Teddy looked interested, like he had stolen a few things himself, but nothing big enough to be chased like I was.

"A Crystal Heart." I could feel the place where it used to hang around my neck. "It contained visions of the future. I stole it because they didn't deserve such a thing and somehow I knew that it wasn't meant for them, but for someone else."

"Who was it meant for?"

"Arthur." I remembered seeing the Crystal Heart disappear inside him, tying him to his fate forever with no back door. "He has a great future. He is destined to unite Albion and return magic to this land."

"How is that possible? Uther would never allow it." Teddy stopped.

"I don't understand it myself, but I trust in his destiny."

"Just like you trust him to keep that secret. He's a kid. He can't be trusted." Teddy argued. "He could be telling his father right now."

"No, Arthur wouldn't do that. He knows what's at stake."

"He is too young to understand the danger." His voice rose.

"Oh and you weren't. Wouldn't you have wanted to know the truth about me?" I silenced him. "You were eight years old when I left you. I thought you were too young for the danger. So I never told you the truth to protect you. I can see how that worked out."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I wanted you to have a good life where you weren't always running. I thought if I left you could find that." I yelled. "But you're still running Teddy."

"If you had stayed maybe I wouldn't have turned out this way. You could have taught me." He hadn't forgiven me for what I'd done. "I know you thought you were protecting me, but you left me alone. You were the only person I had and you left me behind."

"I left you behind so I wouldn't get you killed. They were going to kill me Teddy." I didn't mean to say that last part but it just slipped out.

"What?"

"I didn't just steal from them. Even before that they…" My voice caught in my throat. "I was eight years old when they sentenced me to death. The same age as you back then. I never had the choice of a normal life, but you did Teddy."

"Why did they want to kill you Joone?" Teddy's voice had softened. "It wasn't just about the crystal."

"No, I stole that after I found out about my sentence." I removed my hat and let my short silver hair fell. "They wanted my head because of how I was born."

"Your hair is silver." He pointed out the obvious. "I thought it was bronze."

"That was a spell to hide my hair." I explained. "You have to understand that everyone is born with a little magic inside them. You can see it in their eyes and the colour of their hair. I have grey eyes and silver hair. So no magic."

"You were born without magic?" He was surprised. Maybe he had always thought that I was like him.

"I couldn't use magic. No matter how much I tried." I continued. "You see, I was born into a family where everyone could use magic. I was an anomaly. You want to know what the cherry on top was?"

"What?"

"Not only was there no magic running through my veins but if I ever touched magic it somehow burned me. Even a simple healing spell could be fatal." I placed my hand over my heart, remembering how it burned.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Teddy's voice was barely audible.

"I thought if you knew you would hate me, like them." I had never admitted that to myself, but it was true. That's why I had always hidden my hair so no one would ever look at me like they had. It was like I was stuck in the middle, doomed to be hated by both sides. Yet somehow I found a family that accepted me. Humanity was not lost.

"I could never hate you Joone." He wrapped his arms around me. "I guess we all need protecting in this world. You protect all of us. So who protects you?"

"I've never thought about needing protection." I told him.

"I'll protect you Joone. I'll make sure you're safe." He let go. "You saved me once. Maybe now its time to repay you."

We walked on in silence for a while after that. I recognized the trees around us. We were not so far from the home I had left behind. It was maybe an hour away. I was still trying to process what he had said. Danger had always come to those who tried to protect me, like those people at that camp. Edwin and Nadira. Theo. What would happen to Teddy if he tried to save me? I couldn't bear to see him meet the same fate.

We stopped when we heard voices in the distance. I looked over at Teddy and he nodded. As quietly as we could we snuck towards the camp we saw. It was a big camp with a fire roaring near the edge. Were they knights from Camelot? I drew my knife, but then I saw him. He was standing by the fire, warming his hands and there were a few other men there who were doing the same. The sun was beginning to set and the temperature dropped. It would be a cold night.

But I didn't think about the cold, with my eyes fixed on him. It was Holt. I scanned the faces of the other men, recognizing a few. They were from the organization. This was the Black Feather. They made it. I heard a twig snap and my head spun over to Teddy. 'Sorry.' He mouthed. But the men around the fire heard it. Holt was looking up. They drew their swords. I wasn't going to fight them so I came out of my hiding place.

"What are you doing?" Teddy whispered behind me.

"It's okay." I told him. "We made it. They will not harm us."

"Who are you?" One of them asked, sword still pointed in our direction.

"Hello Crow." I ignored the man.

"You made it." Holt's face lit up. "Lower your weapons men. She's a friend."

"How can you be sure Crow?" I could see Holt's superiority was questioned.

"You should not question your leader." I interjected. "If the Crow says I mean no harm then I mean no harm."

"Blackbird is our leader." Another man said proudly.

"Yes, and he has appointed the Crow to act in his place while he is away." Magnus and I had spoken about this.

"Only Redwing is fit to replace him." I seemed to be well known.

"Well she hasn't been here for a very long time. Why would you follow a person you've never even met?" Their loyalty confused me.

"The Mother of Birds is a mighty warrior. We have heard tell of what she has done for us. The Crow has not proven himself." One of the men explained.

"Redwing is absent. Blackbird is absent. Who do you turn to then?" They fell silent. "You follow the Crow. Do not question the Blackbirds decision, and I agree with him."

"Why should what you say matter?" Another man stepped forward. He had a nasty scar running along the side of his face and there was a kind of hungry look in his eyes.

"It's nice to finally meet you all. I am Redwing." They were shocked.

"You can't be her." The scarred man denied.

"She is Redwing." Holt confirmed.

I heard a few of the men quickly apologize and sheath their swords. Another few only lowered their swords, still not sure. The scarred man tried to look calm, but he was fidgeting.

"Blackbird and I decided on Crow to lead you when we could not. We believe in him, and so should you."

"But he is so young." A large man with a thick beard said.

"Everyone is younger then you." His friend beside him laughed.

"Who is with you?" Holt asked.

"This…" I thought for a moment. "This is Falcon. He is a new recruit."

"Welcome." Holt stepped forward and shook Teddy's hand. "Welcome to the organization."

"Falcon?" Teddy whispered to me.

"It's the fastest bird I could think of. Thought you would like that." I explained. Teddy's grin was wide. He liked it.

"I am not here only to bring Falcon." I turned back to the men. "As I'm sure you all know there is a traitor among us."

"We have not found them yet Redwing." One of them reported.

"There is no need. I have already found him." The men muttered to each other and looked around as if it might be one of them. "First of all, what are all of your code names?"

They listed them off until they came to the scarred man, but he was nowhere to be seen. I looked around, finally managing to spot him making his way towards the cover of the trees.

"Get him." I told Teddy. It didn't take him long. Teddy was fast and soon was upon the scarred man. They struggled but I quickly caught up with them. Together we pinned him on the ground. One of the men passed me his sword and I pointed the tip at the scarred man's chest.

"Did anyone ever tell you that running makes you look guilty?" I grinned. "You must be Vulture. Or should I call you Cedric?"

"He is the traitor?" They sounded shocked.

"Have any of you ever heard of Grandal?" I asked. The men nodded. "This is his inside man. Apparently he is being paid handsomely by King Uther himself for information on us. Vulture is why we lost so many good people in that last ambush."

"That was because of you?" The bearded man roared. "My brother is dead because of you."

"I don't regret what I did." Cedric tried to sound calm but I could hear the fear in his voice.

"What should we do with him?" One of the men asked me.

"It is not my decision to make. Crow?" I turned to Holt. "What is your verdict?"

"Lock him up and I will decide his fate in the morning." Holt stood up straight, authority in his voice.

"Yes sir." The men did not question him as they hauled Vulture away, leaving Holt, Teddy, and me alone.

"Magnus isn't here?" I said as soon as they were gone.

"There were complications getting here." Holt explained. "We ran into some bounty hunters. They are more ruthless then knights."

"What happened?" I could feel fear rising in my stomach.

"When we finally made it past them we noticed Jasper and Aida were missing." Holt continued. "Magnus told us to keep going and that he would go back to find them. That was yesterday, and they have not yet returned."

My mind raced. Then I turned to Teddy. "Teddy you stay here. I have to go back and find them."

"I won't let you go by yourself." He argued. "I can't protect you if I'm stuck here."

"Your injuries still have not healed. I can move faster on my own." I could tell that catching Vulture had taken a lot out of him. He needed rest. I could not take him with me. He would not make the journey.

"But…" I razed my hand, silencing him.

"I'll be back by tomorrow. I promise." I readjusted my satchel. There was still enough to make the journey. I still had a day before I was supposed to meet Magnus at the Rendezvous point. I could make it.

"Be safe." Teddy told me.

"I will." Then I turned to Holt. "You're in charge now. They will listen to you."

"At least come and see the others. They've been worried." Holt protested.

"This cannot wait. Tell them I say hi." I started to back away. "Don't worry. I'll be back soon."

I left them there, and they watched me disappear into the trees. This was the second time I'd left Teddy behind. I must stop making promises I cannot keep.

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	30. Oh How it Burned

**This one is quite a bit shorter then the last ones but I think it conveys the emotion.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Oh How it Burned

I raced through the trees. Somehow I just knew which way to run. I knew where Aida would have gone if she had been separated from the others. There was only one place she could be. I needed to get to her before anyone else. The bounty hunters may already have informed the king of their findings. They would be searching for them.

I burst through the trees onto a familiar sight. It was the place I had called home for the past four years. The path was so committed to memory that I barely thought about it. I knew where I was going. I knew where I had to be. It could have only ever been this way.

I through open the back door, closing it tightly behind me. I wasted no time in moving the cabinet. My feet padded up the stairs after I had slid the cabinet back into place. I came up the stairs to meet a bright light. It quickly died though when she recognized me. Aida ran into my arms, tears staining her face. She looked sickly pale and I feared she might be coming down with something, but at least she was here. I was so relieved. I held her close just to make sure she was real.

"Thank goodness you're safe." I whispered and she cried in my arms.

"They came out of nowhere." She sobbed. "It just all happened so fast and suddenly the others were gone. I was alone Joone."

"I'm here now." I stroked her hair to calm her.

"I lost them." I could feel her trembling.

"It's alright now. You aren't alone anymore." I was struggling to keep myself together, but I couldn't break down.

"They got Jasper. I saw them grab him." Her voice was quivering. "I tried to get to him but then I saw the look on his face. There was nothing I could do. Why couldn't I save him?"

"At least he's still alive." The news hit me hard. Jasper didn't deserve that kind of fate.

"Yes, but for how long?" Aida sounded defeated. "Why couldn't I save him?"

"I don't know." And I didn't. I wasn't sure what to think anymore. I could feel the world begin to tilt, and not in our favor. It had started with the letter announcing that Magnus was most likely dead. It turned out he wasn't but I felt it then. That was the turning point. Slowly we were being pushed further and further over the edge until we would fall. Our time was running out and I could feel the end drawing near.

And it was closer then I could ever have imagined. It came knocking on our door that night. I heard their shouts from downstairs. They must have seen her come this way. Together, Aida and I huddled in the corner furthest away from the stairs leading down to the hidden doorway. I held her tightly in my arms. My heart was pounding faster then it ever had before. It beat so fast that I feared it would finally give out on me. With all my adventures I was surprised it hadn't already stopped.

We heard them force their way through the front door. I couldn't tell if they were bounty hunters or knights. It didn't matter though. They both came for the same reason, but they weren't getting Aida without a fight. I prayed to the triple goddess that they would not find the secret stairs, but my prayers would not be answered.

"Will they find us?" I heard Aida whisper beside me, but I was silent. "Joone, I'm scared."

"So am I." In truth I was terrified. "But we have to be brave now. We must be strong and keep hope alive." But even my hope was dwindling.

"If this is the end…"

"No, don't say that." I cut her off.

"No, but if it is I just want to thank you for everything you've done for me." Her voice had calmed and the tremor was gone. "You've given me four extra years. Without you I would have died at the young age of thirteen. I'm seventeen now and it has been a magical four years. I found a family that would never abandon me, and I found love." She didn't have to say it but I knew she was thinking of Jasper.

"The past four years haven't been dull." I admitted. "I think back to that day when Magnus first brought you to me and I wonder what would have happened if I had said no and I can't imagine it. I can't imagine my life without you in it, Aida."

"I'm glad you're here Joone." I heard her start to cry again. "I'm glad it was always you."

"Aida?" I whispered.

"Yes?"

"If you travel the world will you always come back to me?"

"Always." She whispered in the dark.

We heard the ruckus downstairs as they tore my house apart. Eventually they came to the cabinet. It cried out as they pushed it over, revealing its secret. It didn't take them long to get up the stairs and spot us in the corner. It tightened my grip around Aida. They would not take her from me.

The clanking of metal rang through the dark. They were knights from Camelot. In only a few long strides they were upon us. Aida screamed as they grabbed hold of her arm, trying to pull her away. They pulled us to our feet.

"Leave her." I yelled, lashing out at those closest.

"Joone!" I heard her cry as they pulled her from me.

"Aida!" A couple of the knights grabbed me from behind, trying to break us apart. I still had hold of her hands.

"Don't let go." Tears were streaming down her face.

"Don't do this." I begged them but they would not listen. "She's only a girl. She hasn't hurt anyone." What scared me the most was the fact that the knights didn't say anything. They were silent as they tore families apart, never questioning. We were no different from the others who wept and resisted. "Please!" But it was no use, I felt my fingers slipping.

"Don't forget." Our eyes met. "Don't forget." She repeated.

"I will never forget." I promised.

"Joone!" She cried as her hands finally slipped from mine.

"Aida." I yelled through my tears. "No!"

One of the knights who held me rammed the hilt of his sword into my gut, winding me. In my dazed state I felt one of them bind my hands. I gasped for air, but they had silenced me. They also gave me a hard blow to the back of the head, knocking me to my knees, but I was still conscious enough to feel the pain.

"No!" I heard Aida scream as they dragged her down the stairs and away from me. The knights didn't let me go until they were sure the others had taken Aida outside the house. Then they threw me to the floor with my hands tied behind my back. I was still gasping for air and I could not get to my feet.

They left me there like that, and made their way down the stairs and out of the house. Everything was silent for a few heart-stopping moments. Then I heard a smash as something was thrown through the attic window. I caught a glimpse of the flames on the torch as it rolled across the room. They were setting the house alight with me still inside.

I always thought my end would be by flame, except maybe in the middle of a square with a large crowd watching my last moments. I always imagined, before the fire consumed me, that I would yell some rebellious comment. But my breath was taken from me now and I said nothing. I thought I had more time. But you don't realize how short time is until the end of the story is staring you right in the face.

Four years, eight months, and three days. That's how long it's been, to the day. The hourglass that used to sit by my bed has been smashed and the sand spread out across the floor. Spots danced across my vision as the house caught on fire and it felt like the air was sucked from the room.

I was alone in the middle of my secret that was now falling down around me. The old cabinet had caught on fire and it burned. Oh how it burned. Everything was blurring in front of me. My eyes were watering because of the smoke. I lay still there, on the floor, as the fire circled around me, consuming everything in its path. We knew this would happen. We knew that we wouldn't be able to run and hide forever, but at least we tried.

I gathered up the remaining air in my lungs for one last act of defiance. They could not silence me.

"I will never forget."

And then the world went dark around me.

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	31. White Flower

**This one is a bit shorter then the rest but I hope its good all the same.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

White Flower

Jasper remembered being grabbed and everything descending into chaos. Everything happened so fast and suddenly his friends were gone. Aida was no longer holding his hand. Panic overcame him when they locked him in that cage and started to take him away. He knew where to and it frightened him. They were going to Camelot.

He was alone in the cage they had put him in. They passed through a few towns on the way. The bounty hunters took a long route to Camelot so they could run a few more errands. People stopped what they were doing and looked at him as his cage passed by them. Some of them had pity in their eyes, and others had fear and anger. But no one understood. No one could possibly comprehend what was going through his mind. He had run for so long that finally being caught felt like it was destroying him from the inside out. He could dream of being saved, but as soon as he was within Camelot's walls it was over.

People couldn't look for very long and soon turned away. But one young woman held his gaze. She must have been about Joone's age. Where was she now? The young woman had a basket of flowers in her hands. Her friend pulled on her arm but she shook her away. Then she started to walk and came right alongside the cage as it rolled along the road. The bounty hunters driving it didn't notice her. Jasper came up to the bars, intertwining his fingers with the metal to get closer. She didn't say a word.

At one point she reached up and placed her gentle hand on his. He almost wanted to draw back but he liked the feeling of her warm hand on his. It was comfort. She stayed with him until they reached the edge of the town. Her eyes saddened as she could go no further but he could tell she wanted to. Had she known someone like him? Is that why her hand was so warm on his?

He wished she could have stayed with him, at least for just a little bit longer, but they had already passed the limit of the town. Her hand fell away from his slowly. Then she reached into her basket and pulled out a small white flower. She handed it to him through the bars. He took it gratefully and their fingers intertwined for a moment. Jasper spotted a tear in her eye as her fingers slipped away. Her pace slowed and she soon fell behind the cage until she stopped completely.

She watched him go, the basket falling from her arms and bouncing on the dirt road that he would take to Camelot. Her hands flew to her mouth and she cried for him. He waved to her as he was taken away. Never would he see the young woman again but he would never forget the comfort she had given him just by staying with him a short while. He didn't want to be alone, but fate had other plans for him.

The gates of Camelot were ominous as they loomed out of the dark before them. Jasper had hoped he would never have to see them this close ever again. He had never told anyone but he had once considered Camelot his home. That's where his parents had once lived. He wondered if any of his family was still left. Some of them had been arrested. His mother had given him the chance to escape but had been caught herself. He didn't want to know what happened after that.

He wasn't listening as the bounty hunters told the guards their business in Camelot. Instead he just slumped against the side of the cage, defeated. Jasper glanced back one last time at the forest just beyond the gates that they had come through, but they soon disappeared as he was forced through the gates. He closed his eyes then, not wanting to see the way the people looked at him. He couldn't bear it.

His eyes were forced open when he was roughly pulled from his place in the cage to be brought before the king. Jasper had seen Uther before when he came before his people. He used to think he was a just king but now he saw his true face and it was ugly. Jasper wanted to kill him right there and then. He might have enough power to conjure something, but then he saw the boy that stood next to the king with wide eyes. Arthur.

Jasper's heart fell. He had come to care for the boy he thought he would hate. He remained silent through his trial, knowing that Uther would not hear him. Arthur didn't say a word either.

"I have found you guilty of practicing sorcery and by our laws I sentence you to death." Uther announced. "Put him with the others."

Jasper heard Arthur gasp and begin to cry. His eyes connected with the young prince's for a moment. For the boy he managed to muster up a weak smile but that didn't stop the tears from rolling down Arthur's face. Would he be forced to watch his execution? But he was torn away by the guards and dragged down to the dungeons. They made him change into a plain gray shirt and trousers before showing him where he would be staying. Not a cell was empty.

One of the guards shoved a key into one of the locks and pried the cell door open, forcing him inside. The guard made the mistake of looking at Jasper and meeting his eyes. He would regret seeing the look in his eyes. It was a mix of betrayal, defeat and that burning question. Why? The sight of his eyes would be burned into the guard's memories for the rest of his days.

Jasper wasn't alone in the cell. There were at least five other people crammed in there with him, making the space cramped. Two women were huddled together in a corner, one comforting the other. An older man was leaning against the bars with barely enough strength to stay on his feet. How long had these people been here? Were they all here for the same reason? Magic.

Jasper stumbled and looked down to see a young boy that he had almost tripped over. The boy was lying in the middle of the floor, his chest slowly rising and falling. His eyes were open now and he managed to pull himself towards one of the walls, leaving an open space in the middle of the cell.

"Sorry." That was all Jasper could get out. A sudden movement behind him caught his eye as the fifth inmate got to her feet. He turned and froze. The two of them stood staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

"Jasper?" She whispered.

"Aida!" Her appearance had changed drastically but it was still unmistakably her. They had cut her beautiful ginger hair short and replaced her cloths with nothing but a plain gray smock. It was big on her but he could still see that she was sickly thin. Her cheeks were sunken and there were dark circles around her eyes. She couldn't stand up straight and ended up leaning towards one side. How long had she been here? The last time he had seen her he had told her to run, but they still got to her.

Their short words had caught the attention of the other's in the cell. Jasper couldn't take it anymore and he closed the space between them. Aida met him half way, throwing her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her a few inches off the ground. Then he kissed her. His Aida.

"I thought I would never see you again." She cried.

"Or I you." Jasper pulled back and looked into her eyes. "You shouldn't be here. What happened?"

"It was the knights of Camelot who found me a few days ago. I had hidden in Joone's attic." More tears streamed down her face as she remembered. "Oh it was horrible, Jasper."

"Let's sit down." He could tell that she couldn't stay on her feet for much longer. They sat down in one of the corners with Jasper holding Aida close. She had been here for at least two days already and the rations they were given must have been slim.

"Joone found me first." Aida continued.

"Joone was there?" Jasper felt his heart speed up.

"She wouldn't let them take me but they were too strong…" Aida was interrupted as she was overcome with a fit of coughing. Jasper caressed her back to try and calm her.

"Is Joone alright?" He was afraid to ask. "What about Holt and the others?"

"They set the house on fire, Jasper. She was still inside." Aida burst into more tears. "I don't think she made it out. I don't know about the others. I think they made it to safety. But Joone…"

Joone had been the one always there to protect them but when she needed to be saved there was no one there. Part of him had thought that Joone was indestructible and that nothing could harm her. She was always so strong but now… She didn't deserve this.

Images of the house on fire ran through Jasper's head. He held Aida even closer. The fear of losing someone close to him made it feel like his heart was being torn from his chest.

He took the white flower the young woman had given him from where he had hidden it in a fold of his short sleeve. Aida had her head rested against his shoulder. He placed the white flower behind her left ear.

What would become of them now? How long did they have left?

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!**

**Thank you so much the everyone who has reviewed so far. Your words are gold to my ears.**

**Hope you keep following to see what happens to Aida and Jasper.**

**See you next time.**


	32. Powerless

**These upcoming chapters will probably be shorter then the ones that I have written in the past. Just letting you know.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline (which I love).**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Powerless

Falling asleep in the prison was hard. It was cold and hard but at least it didn't rock and sway like the cage Jasper had been forced to live in for a few days. It wasn't just the cold that kept him awake. There was so much on his mind. So much had happened in so little time and it was all just starting to catch up with him.

He might have been able to accept his own sentence but he could not accept that Aida would have to be sharing the same fate. Jasper held her close as she began to shiver again. He had barely enough heat to keep himself from freezing, but he would give it all to her in a heartbeat if he could. She wasn't doing well. Aida. His Aida. It scared Jasper to see her this way.

At one point in the night, when Aida had finally fallen asleep and stopped shivering, he went to the door of their cell and looked out to see if he could see into the others. He could, and they too were filled with more then one prisoner. Most were sorcerers, Jasper guessed. He feared the day when there weren't enough of them left to fill these cells. At this rate they could all be wiped out in the next few years. But Jasper still had faith. He had faith in the Black Feather. He had faith in a destiny he had only glimpsed.

When you have time its easy to be patient. But time was running out for our dear sorcerers and they could not wait for destiny. There were enough sorcerers in the cells the break out. That is if they had had any strength to cast even one spell. Uther was smart. Smart enough to starve them down here in limited space. He had weakened the enemy so they could not fight back.

If they didn't die of starvation or sickness then they would be publicly executed. Either way Uther got what he wanted, though he did prefer public execution. He liked to show people what would happen if they broke his law. He made examples of them all. What would he do for entertainment after they all were gone? Maybe become a father to his son.

The Arthur that they had met that day when Nimueh came knocking and Joone remembered her past was nothing like Uther. But that didn't mean that he wouldn't grow to become like him. Arthur was still young and easily influenced. It made Jasper sad to imagine a day where Arthur couldn't remember them, a day when he thought of magic as only evil.

But Arthur was only one side of the coin. It had been years since Jasper had last seen the boy Merlin. He must have grown since then. Jasper wondered if he still remembered them. Probably not, but maybe Hunith told him of them. Though the boy did not know of his destiny. Hunith had sworn not to tell him until the time was right.

Hunith. She had been a close friend of Joone's. Jasper remembered that she had sent Huntih a letter before they left. It was the last letter. Hunith wouldn't be receiving any more letters from her old friend. She'd be waiting but they would never come. So much had been lost. His family had been torn apart and there was no way of telling where they all were or if they were still alive.

Joone. She had been such a mother figure to them all. To him she had seemed fearless and fierce but still caring and kind. What you'd imagine a mother to be. She made Jasper realize that there were still people he could trust. He tried to think about the last time he'd seen her, trying to remember every detail of that last moment. She had smiled as if to say that they would meet again. Only now did Jasper see that it had been a lie, even if none of them had known it.

Before he knew it the sun was beginning to rise and the next day had come. Had he gotten any sleep at all? His eyes were heavy so not much, but he couldn't think of sleeping as he heard the sound of boots hitting the ground, coming closer. Jasper was surprised. He hadn't imagined that Uther himself would come down to this hole in his kingdom. The king was accompanied by a few of his knights. Did he still fear the weak sorcerers that he had locked away?

Aida stirred beside Jasper and she opened her eyes weakly. "They've come to take another." She explained in a soft voice. "They take one every day."

"More then that if it's a special occasion." The boy that Jasper had almost tripped over the day before whispered. "He usually chooses at random." Jasper couldn't stop thinking that he was too young to be in here.

But today Uther hadn't come down alone. "My son requested to see the prisoners." Uther told one of the guards. "You see my son. See the filth that inhabits this world."

Arthur's eyes were wide as he looked around the cells and how full they were. "Do they all have magic?"

"Most, yes. There might be a few who committed treason by harboring a sorcerer." Uther explained to his son. "They condemned themselves to this fate." The prisoners were looking up now to see if they could catch a glimpse of the prince. This was a rare visit. Now the prince would only been seen at the executions, just before they died. To some of them he had become the symbol of death.

Their backs were turned to them as they looked around. Aida pulled on Jasper's arm, telling him to follow her as she shakily got to her feet and approached the bars. She couldn't stay standing and was forced to the ground, leaning against the bars and watching the boy she had come to know.

Uther turned around and his face was as blank as stone. Jasper couldn't tell what he was thinking when he looked at them. He could guess though. It was probably disgust and hatred. "They can only bring death and destruction. Their hearts are all the same and they are all as black as death. Magic corrupts."

Jasper couldn't believe what he was hearing. Uther couldn't seriously think that. Magic used to be free under his rule. What had happened to make the way he saw them change so drastically? A tragedy, Jasper guessed. Could he not see that not every sorcerer was the same? It wasn't the magic that was evil but that it was those who wielded who chose that path.

Arthur's wide eyes finally came to their cell and, if possible, they became even wider. He forgot about his father who was standing right next to him. "Aida! Jasper!" He called out their names and broke away from his father's side.

"Arthur." Aida reached her thin arms through the bars towards him. He ran into them, embracing through the bars. She kissed him lightly on the head. Jasper reached through as well and held them both. All three of them were crying, Jasper less so then the other two. They were mostly teary eyed.

Uther got over his shock and ordered his men to retrieve his son. They roughly pulled him away as he cried, striking at Jasper and Aida with the hilts of their swords. Jasper quickly pulled Aida back from the bars and pushed her behind him.

"Don't touch her." He spat at them, his eyes darkening. They backed away, unnerved.

"Don't ever do that again." Uther warned Arthur when his men brought him back, tears still in his eyes. "They could have hurt you."

"But they didn't." Arthur mumbled under his breath. He was young but through his eyes he could still see that it was wrong. He had shared an attic with Jasper and Aida and they had never shown any signs of evil in their hearts. They cared about him and kept him safe from Nimueh. He didn't understand this.

Uther didn't stay mad at his son for long. "Arthur, would you like to choose which one will meet their end today?" Jasper was disgusted. What kind of father was he?

"No." Arthur snapped, but Uther ignored his son's hostility.

"Take him." Uther didn't even hesitate to think about it when he pointed at one of the cells. To Jasper's surprise it wasn't theirs but the one next to them. His heart was still beating faster then the speed of light as he watched them pry the cell door open and force one of the men out. He looked utterly defeated and didn't even struggle as they led him away.

Still there were screams and shouts as they took him away. Arthur covered his ears to block them out. Protests, but there was nothing anyone could do. They were feared for their power and yet here they were powerless.

Aida pulled Jasper further away from the bars. They huddled together in a corner. There were tears in both of their eyes and Jasper could feel how fast Aida's heart was beating. They held tight to each other, as they feared how powerless they would be when the other was taken away.

**Thanks for waiting and please REVIEW!**

**The reviews you guys have sent in are amazing and I cannot tell you how much I love reading them over and over again. It makes me happy to see that people like reading my story. I know its long but I hope you can bear with me.**

**Fun Fact: This story was originally supposed to be centered solely around Jasper and Aida's relationship, but then I fell in love with Joone's character and things went wild from there.**

**Hope you keep following because another familiar character will be making a first time appearance in the next chapter. Can you guess who it will be?**

**See you all next time.**


	33. Stay With Me

**This one came out longer then I expected.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Stay With Me

Time passed slowly as they sat in their cell. They heard the execution from their cell. Jasper made the mistake of looking through the grate that looked out onto the courtyard where the execution was taking place. He didn't speak again for hours after that. Aida stayed by him, understanding how it felt. The same thing had happened to her when she first arrived. Jasper's eyes seemed empty as he stared at the ground, shocked into silence.

Aida ran her hand through her roughly cut hair. She had grown used to its shortness but still missed the time when it had been long, when Joone used to comb it for her. Aida still shook at night from dreams of fire. She found many a time that she would suddenly wake with Joone's name on the tip of her tongue, but she never called out. After the fire a part of Aida had died. She felt different, as if something inside was missing. Hope, maybe.

When she first arrived and was thrown in the cell after they cut her hair off and changed her clothes she looked around desperately for Jasper, believing that he would be there. But she didn't see him. Aida feared that she was too late and that he had already been executed, and then he was there. She was happy to see him but a part of her wished he had never come, that he could have escaped. She would have been happy to die believing that. But now he was here.

There was nothing that could be done now so Aida decided to cherish what time they did have together, but she had a feeling at the pit of her stomach that it wouldn't be long. If they had so little time then Aida was not going to let Jasper waste it by remaining in this state.

"Jasper." Aida spoke his name softly. Gently, she began to stroke the back of his neck. He didn't move and his eyes just kept staring. Aida had always loved Jasper's eyes. They were deep and she always seemed to get lost in them. It made her think back to when they danced together in Narayan's basement to Joone's violin music. It had been invigorating and Aida felt alive as she danced across the floor. Neither she nor Jasper had been very good dancers but it hadn't mattered.

Aida smiled as she remembered how Jasper had smiled and laughed but it also made her sad to think that he would never laugh and smile like that again. Her Jasper. She ran her fingers through his short hair, leaned in, and kissed him on the cheek. He blinked and his eyes softened. Jasper turned his head so he could look at her and their eyes locked together. He cupped her face with his left hand. Aida placed her hand over his.

They kissed and the world around them seemed to disappear. There was no cell or ban on magic. There was no impending sentence looming over their heads. It was just the two of them. When they finally broke apart their foreheads rested against each other's, their hands now entwined. They were content to stay that way. Aida closed her eyes, but Jasper stole another glance at her. He reached up and flicked a piece of dirt from her cheek.

They stayed there together as the sun set in the sky, not thinking of what would come the next morning. Their thoughts were only of each other.

Aida's shivering was what woke Jasper in the middle of the night. It was the coldest night so far and their thin clothes did little to protect them against the cold's bite. He pulled her in closer but it did not stop her shivering. Her trembling was more violent then the night before. Something was wrong. This couldn't just be from the chilly temperature. Something was magnifying its affects on her. She needed help, and soon. For now all Jasper could do was to stay close and give her as much warmth as he could.

The morning came without warning and the same sound of boots coming down to the cells could be heard. Everyone rustled around in their cells, knowing what was coming. They held their friends and family tighter, even though they knew it wouldn't do anything to stop the soldiers that came for them.

Jasper and Aida's cell was the first one in the line when they came stomping down the stairs. They didn't want to stay down here long so they threw open the first cell and grabbed the first person they could. It was the collar of the older man that they grabbed, dragging him out of the cell.

Jasper had never heard the man speak or even know his name. He regretted not asking now. The shouts of the other prisoners started up again like the day before. Did they cry this way everyday?

Before Jasper could stop her, Aida got to her feet and walked over to the old man. She looked so calm doing it. There was little to fear now when death was so certain. She reached down and took his wrinkled hand in hers. It was the last bit of kindness he was ever shown. He looked up at her and tried to smile. Both their smiles were small and sad.

"I'll miss you Emanuel." She almost whispered as one of the guards pulled her away and her hand was left still reaching out for the old man's.

"Goodbye Aida." His voice was rough and old. "See you in the next life." Then they took him away, leaving the cell with one less occupant.

"Emanuel!" The boy with them cried but Aida caught him before he could take another step. The old man was beyond their reach now. Aida held the boy and they watched the man go until they could no longer see him. The two women wept and came to put their arms around Aida and the boy. Aida extended her hand to Jasper and pulled him in. Their six had become five. The cell seemed so empty now.

They all stayed very close together after that. Aida held tight to Jaspers hand, placing her head on his shoulder. She had her other arm around the boy. He sat between her and one of the other women who wouldn't let go of her friend. The cells grew quiet as the sound of the drums rang out.

But Jasper couldn't take just sitting there. You'd think he had learnt his lesson the day before but it was different this time. It was Emanuel. He hadn't really known the old man at all but Jasper felt like he owed him this. Aida felt the same. They both stood in silence at the grate and watched what they could, right up until the ax fell. Aida turned away and Jasper closed his eyes.

"Emanuel." One of the women whispered his name.

"He's in a better place now Clary." Her friend told her, wrapping her arm further around her and the boy.

"Any place is better then here." The boy mumbled. Jasper turned from the grate and caught a glimpse of a middle-aged man walking by the cell with a medicine bag in his hand.

"Who's that?" He asked, pointing towards the bars. "He had a medicine bag."

"He did?" Aida moved as quick as she could to the bars and peered out. "I've never seen him before."

"That sounds like Gaius, doesn't it Aubrey?" Clary asked her friend.

Aubrey went to stand next to Aida and tried to see what she saw. "It is!" Her eyes brightened. "He's the court physician. What could he possibly be doing down here?"

"In all the time we've been here he hasn't come down once." Clary came up beside them. "What's changed?"

"You know this Gaius?" Jasper asked Clary.

"He treated my brother once. I'll tell you he knows what he's doing." Her eyes grew sad. "Though that didn't really help my brother in the end. They took him last week."

"Clary." Aida took her hand and Aubrey placed an arm around her shoulder, but Clary didn't have any more tears to cry.

"What's he doing?" The boy asked. "Can you tell?"

"I think he's treating them." Aida deciphered from what she could see.

"Why?" Jasper came up to see if he could make out the man.

"Gaius isn't like Uther." Clary explained. "His heart is kinder, and some say he used to practice magic himself." She whispered those last few words.

"Really?" Aida hadn't expected that. "Does the king know?"

"Yep, but Gaius vowed never to practice it again." Clary told them. "Bad news for the sick. Him and a friend used to be able to cure just about anything. Now their abilities are limited. More lives will be lost now rather then saved."

"There will be a day when no one remembers what the physician used to be like." Aubrey sighed.

After a while they all left the bars. Jasper peeked through the grate again but everyone had dispersed after the execution. They happened so quickly. He did see one woman still lingering around the platform. Maybe she had known Emanuel. At least she was there to remember him. There wasn't enough time between the executions to make the people memorable. The only point to them now was to strike fear and to clear space in the cells. It was despicable. How would they like to be on this side of the bars?

Gaius didn't leave the prisons once that day. There were too many people that needed his help. Jasper wondered about the man. There was just something about him that made Jasper curious, like he was important.

He felt Aida slip her hand into his. It was a nice feeling to have her close. He had never cared about anyone the way he cared about her. Jasper hadn't out right said it yet, but he loved her, enough to willingly die for her. But time was running out, they all knew it, and he wasn't going to be able to save her.

"Jasper." Aida drew his attention, giving a comforting squeeze to his hand. "You okay?"

"No." Jasper told the truth. There was no reason to lie, not here.

"You two been together long?" He heard Clary ask behind them.

"Not long enough." Aida said as they turned to face her.

"It never is." Aubrey commented. "Not when it comes to true love." They both blushed at that, not letting go of each other's hand.

"I never understood love." The boy said.

"Love is complicated Charlie." Aubrey placed a hand on his shoulder. "No one really understands it."

Suddenly Jasper felt Aida's hand slip from his. He looked over. Her eyes rolled back and her legs just seemed to give out on her. She was falling.

"Aida!" He just managed to catch her before she hit the ground. She was breathing hard and her eyes were closed. The others rushed over.

"She needs help." Charlie announced, rushing to the bars of the cell. "Help! Please!"

It wasn't long before the physician appeared on the other side. He spotted Aida's limp body in Jasper's arms right away. "Bring her here." He said urgently. As carefully as he could, Jasper lifted her and carried her to Gaius. He gulped at how light she was.

Gaius started his examination right away, feeling her forehead and checking her pulse. Aida's eyes fluttered open and she leaned against the bars, resting her head against them. Jasper didn't leave her side. Gaius worked quickly and Jasper could tell he was trying to stay calm.

"You aren't the first case I've seen." He told her.

"Can you save her?" Jasper didn't say help. He said save, but no one could save any of them. Not anymore.

"I know of a medicine that should work but I don't have it here with me." He explained. "I'll have to go up to my quarters and get it."

"Why are you doing this?" Aida asked weakly. Clary, Aubrey, and Charlie stood close by, listening intently.

"The king is feeling merciful, probably because of his son's return, so he finally let me come down." Gaius said.

"But why are you doing this?" She asked again. "You don't agree do you, with what he's doing?"

"Not fully, no." He said in hushed voice so the guards couldn't hear.

"Wouldn't it be more merciful to let us die this way then out there as examples?"

"Aida, don't say that." Jasper was shocked.

"We're all going to die anyway." She said a little louder but a fit of coughs came over her.

"Don't strain yourself." Gaius warned. "Rest."

"Its not like I'm going anywhere." Aida coughed. "I'm too weak to move."

"I think you're strong." Gaius smiled. "Your kindness is your strength my dear. Now I'll be back with the medicine as soon as I can. All you can do now is rest."

"I'll make sure she does." Jasper nodded. Gaius thanked him and quickly made his way towards the stairs. "Come on." Jasper lifted Aida and took her to the far side of the cell and laid her down. "You need to…" But Aida was already asleep. Jasper grasped her hand.

"You have to stay with me Aida." He kissed her hand. The others circled around her. "Stay with me."

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!**

**The reviews have been beyond brilliant.**

**I estimate about five more chapters, give or take.**

**Hope you keep following because the next chapter won't be one to miss. Intended to leave you shocked.**

**See you all next time.**


	34. Never Grow Old

**This chapter was very emotional to write.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

Never Grow Old

But Gaius never returned and it soon became dark. Aubrey and Clary slept in the corner with Charlie between them. They had their arms around each other and almost looked peaceful. The cells were quiet. Aida and Jasper lay on their sides facing each other, their hands intertwined between them, but they were not asleep. Jasper stroked the cold skin of Aida's hands.

"He isn't coming back is he." Aida's voice was weak and she only had the strength to open her eyes half way.

"Its late. Maybe he'll be back in the morning." Jasper tried to keep her hopes up.

"I'm so tired Jasper." Her eyes flickered. "But I'm afraid if I close my eyes I won't be able to open them again."

"Don't close them." He said. "Just look at me and keep looking at me. Everything is going to be alright."

"You're too good to me Jasper." She squeezed his hands lightly. "I wish I could believe you."

"You're going to be okay." Jasper told her. "Believe me."

"I want to so much." Tears fell from her eyes. "But I just feel so tired. I'm tired of this world Jasper. I'm tired of being afraid."

"You don't need to be scared." Jasper pulled himself closer to her. "I'm right here."

"For how long?" Aida's eyes were sad.

"Forever." He tried to smile.

"What would have happened if we had grown up?" She asked.

"We would have moved out of that attic and to a home in the country." He imagined. "Joone would know of a good spot."

"We'd be happy there." Aida smiled. "We'd be at home."

"Joone and Magnus would come visit us with their child. Little Angela." Jasper went on. "Holt and Fionn would be married and are expecting. Olwen is the godmother. Narayan and Narendra would tell stories around the fire."

"Joone would play the violin for us." Aida added. "And we would all sing together as if the dark times had never happened. We'd all be safe. Our family would be safe."

"There would be nothing to fear." He whispered. "In the summer there would be flowers and everything would be alive."

"We'd all be alive." The thought made Aida smile. "We'd all be together."

"Always." Jasper smiled. "And I'd ask you to marry me."

"You'd what?" Aida was startled for a moment, her eyes opening all the way.

"I'd ask you to marry me." He said it slower.

"Would you?" Her smile widened.

"I'd never want a moment without you." He told her.

"I'd say yes." She whispered so Jasper almost didn't catch it, but he did and it made his heart jump.

They pulled themselves closer together until their noses were just touching. Jasper kissed her forehead and they stayed that way. In that moment everything was perfect and Jasper could almost believe that the future he had described was real, that they would all live. They'd all be happy together. He could forget where he was.

Everything was perfect…for the last time.

The sun soon rose and its beams streamed in though the grate. Jasper had dozed off for a moment. When he opened his eyes Aida was still there, still holding his hands. Her eyes were closed and she looked peaceful in her stillness, but she was too still. Jasper placed his hand on the side of her face and it was as cold as ice.

"Aida?" She wasn't breathing. "Aida!" His shouts awoke the others and they came over quickly. Clary felt for a pulse in Aida's neck but found nothing. Jasper was sitting up then, pulling Aida into his arms.

"She's gone." Clary cried.

"No!" Jasper refused to believe it. "She can't be."

"Jasper I'm so sorry." Aubrey placed her hand on his shaking shoulder. Charlie was silent, his eyes wide in shock.

"You can't die on me Aida." He shook her as if she was only sleeping and he could still wake her. His tears soaked into her short hair. "I said forever."

They were interrupted by the sound of a scuffle near the entrance to the cells. There were shouts but whoever was trying to get in finally got past. He got right to the cells before the guards caught him again. It was Gaius. The older man managed to see into their cell and saw the tears on everyone's faces.

"No." He breathed the word.

"You're too late Gaius." Aubrey sobbed.

"It can't be." Gaius started to struggle against the guards again.

"What is it?" The king strode in, another unexpected visit. No one said anything and they didn't need to. He spotted Aida's limp body in the cell with the others crowded around her. "Well, that is one less threat."

"She would never have done anything to harm Camelot!" Jasper yelled.

"Silence!" Uther boomed. "How dare you speak to me that way. I am your king."

"You are no king of mine. A king doesn't kill his people." Jasper spat. "She didn't deserve to die."

"Sire if you had let me come down before I could have prevented this." Gaius tried to act calm. "I could have saved her."

"I was in a merciful mood before, but I should never have let you down here." Uther turned to the physician. "They will all die anyway. Remove him from here." He ordered the guards that held Gaius.

"No!" Gaius fought. "I could have saved her!" His shouts disappeared as they took him away.

"As for you." He pointed a gloved finger at Jasper. "I have put up with you for long enough. Guards, seize him."

"Leave him!" Clary yelled, putting herself between them and Jasper when they came into the cell to take him.

"We won't let you take him." Aubrey stood with her friend but the guards pushed the two women aside.

"Out of the way." One barked at them. He grabbed Jasper roughly by the arm and started to pull him away from Aida.

"No!" Jasper protested, still holding onto Aida's cold hand.

"Jasper!" Charlie yelled, running at the guards. They hit him across the face.

"Don't hurt him!" Jasper shouted.

"Don't!" Clary grabbed for Jasper. "Please!"

"Aida!" Jasper called her name one last time before her hand slipped from his and fell limply to the ground.

Finally the guards managed to pull Jasper from the cell, shutting the door tight. Aubrey, Clary, and Charlie were at the bars shouting after them. The others had heard the commotion and had started up their yells as well. They shouted and roared louder that day then any other.

Tears were streaming down Jasper's face when they brought him out into the courtyard. Not because he was going to die, but because he had lost the one he loved so dearly. Aida was gone. There was no point anymore. His heart shattered as he realized they truly would never grow old together and he would never be able to properly ask her to marry him. It was over.

Jasper saw through blurred vision the platform and the stairs that the guards pulled him up. His tears were silent. People from the lower town surrounded the platform but he could not make out their faces. The guars lead him towards a block placed in the center. There was a tall man in black standing next to it and at his side he held a newly sharpened ax.

Jasper's breathing was hard. Uther came out onto the balcony overlooking the courtyard. At his side was a teary eyed Arthur. But Jasper couldn't see them and he didn't hear the speech that Uther made, telling the people how evil he was and how his execution was justified.

"Do you have any last words?" Uther's voice finally cut through the mist that surrounded Jasper. He was confident enough that Jasper could not perform any spell.

"How could you?" Jasper's voice was just audible enough for the king to hear. There were still tears in the young sorcerers eyes.

"You wish to save your kingdom but you have condemned it." He spat. "If you fear magic so much then let magic be your downfall. You wish it to be evil so badly so I will grant your wish Uther Pendragon." Jasper just felt the words come to him. "I curse you. You will loose your children to magic and no matter how much you wish to extinguish the fire it will keep burning. There will always be magic at the heart of Camelot."

"That's enough!" Uther silenced him. He gave the signal to his men and they forced Jasper to his knees in front of the block. One of them took a piece of cloth from beside the block and tied it around Jasper's head, covering his eyes.

Jasper found himself wondering if Emanuel had worn the same blindfold as they forced his head down onto the block. They hadn't had to cut his hair because it was short enough that the executioner could see his neck clearly. Silence fell throughout the crowd.

"Aida." He whispered.

He wouldn't see the ax fall.

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**The reviews so far have been outstanding and they always make my day.**

**Originally this was where the story was going to end but I couldn't just let it end like that. I'd say there is a maximum of about three more chapters if I've thought it out correctly, but things could change.**

**Hope you keep following because the battle has only just begun.**

**See you all next time.**


	35. Liberation

**Lots of action in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Liberation

Jasper never saw the ax fall for two reasons: one, because he was blindfolded, and two, because the ax never fell. He was left in silence, wondering why they were taking so long. It wasn't until the screams started that he knew something was happening. He heard the sound of metal against metal. There was a fight and there were shouts as spells were cast.

The sudden attack surprised the executioner, freezing him in place with the ax raised above his head. He hated magic with his entire soul. That's why he was so willing to do this job. Seeing that their attackers had magic he was filled with fury. He was not about to allow them to save this boy from his sentence. They had magic and deserved to die. So he prepared to let the ax fall.

There was a young man in the crowd. He didn't have magic like his comrades but he still fought as the knights came out to meet them. A couple days ago he had sent word out to every member of the Black Feather he could find. They had waited long enough for this day. The plan wasn't to take down Camelot but to spite them by freeing the prisoners. He'd never forget the look on Uther's face when they came bursting into the courtyard. The king was caught off guard. Their timing was perfect as they came in the middle of an execution.

"Crow!" He heard someone yell beside him. He looked over to see Olwen pointing at the platform. Holt turned just in time to see what the executioner was planning. He was the closest.

He didn't recognize the sorcerer with his head on the block at first, but as he got closer it clicked. His eyes widened. The executioner let the ax fall. Holt wasn't going to make it.

"Jasper!" Holt yelled. No, he wasn't going to give up that easily. He took a dagger from under his jacket and threw it with all he had. The dagger flew through the air, imbedding itself in the handle of the ax. It had enough force behind it to push the ax to the side, causing the executioner to stumble. Holt jumped up onto the platform, sword in hand.

The executioner growled when he saw him and lunged. He swiped at Holt with his ax. Holt ducked and the ax cut through the air over his head. His feet were much faster then the large executioner as he darted around his attacks. The man with the ax swung again. Holt had to get him away from Jasper.

The executioner wasn't stupid. He knew this miscreant was trying to save the sorcerer. He grinned and turned in the middle of his ax and swung at Jasper.

"No!" Holt yelled and threw himself at the executioner, body checking him to the side and away from Jasper, successfully knocking the large man off the platform. Holt looked warily over the edge and saw him unconscious on the ground.

Jasper's heart was pounding. He was frozen as he tried to understand what was happening. Suddenly he felt someone grabbing him from behind and pulling him to his feet. Whoever it was pulled off his blindfold. The light blinded him. He had to blink a few times for everything to come into focus, and then he was being pulled down off the platform. His feet stumbled across the cobblestones. He was being led away from the fight and toward an ally.

A knight came rushing at them with his sword held high and he was yelling, but someone got in his way. Her hands glowed as she punched him in the face, knocking him out cold.

"Go!" She yelled. "I'll cover you."

As soon as they were away from the battle Jasper felt himself being pulled into a hug. "We thought we might be too late."

"Holt." Jasper returned the embrace.

"Crow." Olwen was standing guard at the entrance to the ally. "We have to help the others." She stood tall with a staff in her hand. She looked like quite the warrior. "We have to get back to Fionn and Magnus."

"I know." Holt said, turning back to Jasper. "Do you think you can lead us to the dungeon Jasper?"

"Uh…" He was still quite out of it. Everything had happened so quickly.

"Jasper." Olwen came over, looking over her shoulder several times. "We don't have much time. We can't keep this up forever."

"Yes, I think so." He hadn't been blindfolded when they took him from his cell, and from Aida.

"We must hurry." Holt could see that Jasper was weak. He tried to hide the look of concern for his friend on his face. "I'll help you."

Just like that, the three of them were back out running across the battlefield, dodging fights. Holt spotted Fionn fighting a knight coming up on their left, but there was no sign of Magnus. She took down the knight easily. Holt grabbed her by the hand as they passed. She was only startled for a second.

"We're going to the dungeons." Holt told her. She nodded and followed.

"Jasper!" She grinned when she saw him. But the smile soon disappeared when a knight charged them. She flipped the man over her shoulder and Olwen knocked him out with her staff.

"This way." Jasper led them through a door and down the stairs to the cells.

"Jasper, where's Aida?" He knew that they were going to ask the question sooner or later. He looked back over his shoulder, a sad look in his eye. He didn't need to say anything.

"No." Olwen almost stopped in her tracks but kept going. "She can't be."

The proof was right in front of their eyes when they reached the cells. They took the guards down quickly. Olwen fought with newfound fury and she made short work of the locks on the cells.

"Jasper?" Clary and Charlie came out of the cell warily. Aubrey didn't leave the side of their fallen friend.

"The Black Feather has come to free us." Jasper told them. "These are friends." He gestured to Holt, Fionn, and Olwen.

Olwen pushed her way past them into the cell and toward her friend's still form. Jasper couldn't bring himself to go into that cell again. He turned away, not wanting to see her so motionless, the life gone from her eyes. Olwen cradled Aida in her arms and cried. Holt and Fionn helped the others from their cells. A few more members of the Black Feather appeared to help them.

"Olwen we can't stay." Fionn told her sister.

"We can't leave her." Olwen cried.

"We won't." Fionn came to her sister's side. She gestured to some of the others to help them. They lifted Aida and took her from the cell.

Jasper couldn't take it any longer and looked. He reached out for Aida's limp hand but soon let it slip from his as they took her away. Her body was not the only one that had to be carried from the dungeon. There were others. It broke their hearts to see them.

"If only we had come sooner." Olwen came up beside Jasper. "We could have saved her."

"It's not your fault." Jasper told her, but still he wondered what if.

They followed the others back out into the courtyard where the battle still raged. They needed to lead the newly liberated prisoners safely from the city. Jasper made to follow them but something caught his eye. He looked up toward the balcony and his heart almost stopped. There was a fight going on up there.

"Arthur." He broke away from the rest of them and used what strength he had left to run.

"Jasper!" Holt called behind him. He soon saw what his friend saw. They both watched as a sorcerer grabbed the prince and jumped from the balcony, using his magic to land safely on the ground. Arthur screamed.

"That wasn't a part of the plan." Holt shouted. The two of them ran as fast as they could towards the kidnapping in progress. But they weren't running fast enough and the sorcerer was getting away with the prince. They couldn't let this happen. They needed to keep the prince safe or destiny would fall right there and then that day.

"Arthur!" Jasper yelled and he felt his magic surge through him. He held his hands out in front of him and let his magic go. It burst through his fingertips and flew towards the captor, knocking him off his feet. Arthur scrambled out of the man's arms. In his anger the sorcerer cast a spell towards the young prince before passing out.

"No!" The spell had taken the last of Jasper's strength. But Holt still had enough to get him across the courtyard to the prince. He grabbed Arthur and pulled him out of the way of the curse. Jasper sighed with relief at the sight of the prince safe. With the last of his strength gone his legs gave out under him. He tried to blink black dots from his eyes, but they were getting bigger, blurring his vision. He shook his head and managed to get the dots to disappear.

Jasper saw Holt push Arthur through one of the doors to the castle, telling him to hide and keep safe. Holt then ran over to Jasper and helped him to his feet. There was no sign of the prisoners so they must have gotten them all safely away. Holt saw this too and whistled really loudly. The members of the Black Feather heard and began their retreat, fighting their way out.

"Do not let them escape!" They heard Uther bellow from the balcony.

Olwen and Fionn must have been waiting for them because they came up to run with them. The knights had caught on to what they were doing and began to close the gate to the city to lock them inside. They ran faster but the gates were closing quickly. Jasper stumbled. He was so close to his breaking point where his body would completely shut down if he did not rest. But there was no time for rest.

Olwen blasted a path through for them and they just managed to slip through the gate. But not everyone was that lucky. They looked back in time to see some of their comrades turn from the gate, seeing that it was too late. They saluted and lunged at the knights, fighting their last fight. Archers fired from the walls, not letting them stop.

But Olwen stopped, rage written across her face. "Olwen we have to go." Fionn tried to pull her sister after her.

"No." Olwen pulled away.

"Olwen please." Fionn implored her sister.

"I'll make them suffer!" Lighting flashed across Olwen's eyes and she started to glow.

"Olwen, no!" Fionn stood in front of her sister, placing her hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye.

"They disserve it for what they've done!" Olwen's power was palpable.

"I know we've lost a lot of good people today." Fionn began with tears in her eyes. "But I don't want to lose anymore. Don't be like them Olwen. I can't loose you too." Hearing her sister's words the glow in Olwen's eyes began to die, replaced with tears. Fionn held her and lead her towards the cover of the forest.

But Jasper fell behind and he could not push back the darkness any longer. He collapsed and the last thing he remembered was a knight running towards him.

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	36. Wake Up

**To celebrate the fact that we survived the "apocalypse" and that I finished my Christmas shopping here is another chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Wake Up

Jasper opened his eyes and found he was lying under a few blankets in a tent. He didn't remember how he had come to be here. He had passed out, his energy completely gone, and there had been a knight running towards him. At that thought, Jasper sat up quickly, checking for any wounds on his thin body, but found none, other then maybe a few scrapes and bruises. Nothing major. So what had happened?

Jasper looked over to find a stack of clothes next to his makeshift cot. He was still in his clothes from prison. Suddenly they felt heavy and disgusting, with all the memories hanging about them and the fear of whoever had worn them before him. He quickly changed into the warmer clothing, slipping on the brown jacket and putting up the hood sewn on the back.

He threw the dirty prison clothes into a corner of the tent as if they were death itself. He couldn't bear to be in the same tent as them so he carefully made his way out of the tent door, peeking out to make sure there was no danger. There were lots of people around. Doing lots of different things. Some were cooking or warming up by a roaring fire in the middle of the camp Jasper now found himself in. Others were putting up more tents and some were tending to their weapons.

"I see you're finally awake." A voice said beside him. Jasper jumped, coming out of the tent. His eyes were wide as he looked over at the stranger, still on edge, and his heart pounded in his chest as he saw the emblem of Camelot sewn into his uniform. A knight.

"Whoa." The knight put his hands up. "There's no need to be afraid."

"Where am I?" Jasper demanded.

"Just take a second and calm down." The knight implored him.

"Tell me where I am!" Jasper was starting to feel weak in the knees. He was freaking out.

"Jasper!" Someone said sharply behind him in a strong voice, one that he knew.

"Magnus!" Jasper gasped as the man he had come to know only vaguely came up beside him, placing a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Excite yourself too much and you might black out again." Magnus warned.

"You gave us quite a scare." The knight said, drawing Jasper's attention back. "You've been out for two days."

"Two days?" Jasper didn't think it had been that long. "Who are you anyway?"

"Jasper, this is Sir Galahad." Magnus introduced the man.

"Sir Galahad, a knight of Camelot?" Jasper knew he had heard the name somewhere before but he couldn't place it just yet.

"Don't worry." Magnus told him. "He's on our side. He's the one who saved your life."

"He is?" Jasper was still unsure about the man.

"You're not the only one who doesn't trust me." Sir Galahad pointed out.

"It's been a hard time trying to keep the others from tearing him limb from limb." Magnus nodded.

"Maybe it's the uniform." Jasper suggested.

"I had thought of that." Sir Galahad almost laughed, but it just wasn't the time for such things.

"I told him to but he refused to leave your side until you woke." Magnus said. "He's been guarding the entrance for two days."

"You have?" Jasper didn't know what to make of the knight. He was conflicted. The man's uniform and loyalty still gave him doubts. He made the oath and became a knight of Camelot. Has he not broken the code now? Unless he is here as a spy, but somehow that didn't quite ring true. Jasper didn't sense a lie when Galahad spoke, and he couldn't exactly have been spying if he hadn't left Jasper's tent the entire time.

"I carried you away from Camelot and I had to carry it through to the end." Sir Galahad explained. "You don't just save someone and then leave them. I had to know you were safe first."

"Thank you." Jasper's voice was small, still unsure of the words, but they felt right coming off his lips.

"Jasper, no one else seems to know but do you know where Joone is?" Jasper froze as Magnus asked the dreaded question. "I know what happened to Aida. Joone never showed up to our rendezvous point and when I got back Holt said that she had gone to find Aida. Did Aida ever tell you what happened?"

"Magnus." Jasper began slowly, trying to keep back his own tears. "Aida told me that Joone found her in the attic of her house. But the knights were close behind. They found them and took Aida."

"And Joone?" Magnus didn't look so calm now. Jasper saw him fiddle with the piece of string he wore around his finger that Joone had tied there when he asked her to marry him.

"They burned down the house." Jasper paused, looking at Magnus. "Aida said that Joone didn't make it out."

There was silence amongst the three of them in that moment. Sir Galahad and Jasper watched Magnus, waiting. Magnus just stared blankly forward. Jasper could understand what was going on in his mind. He had lost Aida. Jasper wondered if it was more devastating to hear about it second hand. There must have been so many things left unsaid.

"No." That was all Magnus said before storming off into the forest with Jasper and Galahad following close behind.

"Magnus!" Jasper called after him. His legs were still weak and he wasn't able to catch up. Galahad could have easily but he didn't want to leave Jasper behind in his weak state.

"Magnus wait!" Jasper yelled. Finally Magnus stopped.

"I won't let her be gone." Magnus quaked, his back still turned to them. "This is my fault."

"Magnus, there is no way that this is your fault." Jasper tried to tell him. "You can't blame yourself for this."

"I was supposed to protect her!" Magnus yelled and Jasper could tell he was crying. "This stupid organization was my idea in the first place. I was the one who got her so involved. I brought Aida to her house and got myself seen so I couldn't stay to help her. I didn't get everyone out fast enough when I realized there was a mole, which I should've realized sooner. I didn't keep track of Aida or you when bounty hunters attacked us. I could keep going. The list is endless. It doesn't matter what way you look at it. This is my fault." Magnus turned to the side, almost facing them. "I shouldn't have let her follow me."

"Do you really think Joone would have let you push her away?" Jasper asked, angry. "If you really think that Joone was so weak that she needed you to keep saving her then you really didn't know her at all. You said once that they called her the Mother of Birds. She was the protector and she would never have let you go at this alone. That just wasn't who she was.

"Joone was the strong one!" Jasper shouted, startling some birds. "She had a dangerous past. Even without this she was still in danger. She would have always been in danger, but she pulled through it with a smile on her face and she was still willing to take on more. She saved us Magnus. We wouldn't be here without her."

"She was stronger then I will ever be." Magnus looked over at them, tears in his eyes. "How can I do this without her?"

"You will get through this for her." Jasper told him. "Use the strength of her memory and keep going. You think she'd want you to give up? Joone knew the risks. We all knew the risks. One loss doesn't always topple a kingdom. She told me that once."

"I told her that." Magnus' eyes became distant as he remembered. "Can't believe she would still remember that."

"This is Joone we're talking about." Jasper almost smiled, as if he could almost imagine Joone was still there with them. "Nothing was impossible with her."

"She was the impossible." Jasper could almost swear that he saw the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"I lost Aida, Magnus." Just saying her name made it feel like his heart was breaking all over again. "She was the love of my life but she wouldn't want me to lose myself too." No matter how much he just wanted to curl up into a ball and never get up again.

"I thought we would fall together." Magnus whispered. "I will never love again."

"I feel the same." Jasper admitted.

"I just need to be alone." Magnus turned away and walked slowly off into the forest. They didn't go after him this time, understanding why. He didn't want the organization, the people that looked up to him as a leader along side Holt, to see him this way. He didn't want them to see him as breakable. Jasper wondered if he would tell them that Redwing was dead or if he would keep her alive through stories. Jasper liked that idea.

"You have strong words." Galahad commented beside him. "He needed to hear them."

"Only my words are strong." Jasper told him. "I didn't tell him that it feels like my heart is being ripped out every time I think of her. I didn't say that I keep reliving the moment when I woke and found her so still. She was so still."

"I wish I could have known her." Galahad placed his gloved hand on Jasper's shoulder. "I was privileged enough to meet Joone though. I believe it is the same women. She seemed the way you described her."

"When?" Jasper looked up at the knight, surprised.

"We were sent to silence a rebellious town." Galahad explained. "They burnt it to the ground. We were told to take no prisoners. I came across her as it burned. I had my orders but I could not kill her or the boy she was protecting. Tell me, what happened to her son? And what is Magnus' relation to her?"

"Magnus and Joone were married, but only for a few days." Jasper told him. "The boy you saw, the one that Joone claimed to be her son, wasn't. His real name was Arthur Pendragon."

"He was the prince?" It was Galahad's turn to be surprised. "He had been missing during that time."

"Yes, he was staying with us. He was ill and we decided it was unsafe to send him back to Camelot as it was warring." Jasper explained. "She was protecting him."

"That sounds like her." Galahad's smile was weak. "She proved to me what it was to be a true knight. She called me gallant. A remarkable woman."

"She'd be happy to know you remembered her." Jasper nodded as he finally remembered where he had heard the knight's name before. "Joone told us about you. She said…" But then something caught his eye, something past Galahad up in one of the trees. It glinted in the sunlight.

"Galahad!" He yelled, realizing what it was. He grabbed the knight by the arm and shoved him back.

Galahad didn't have enough time to react or understand why Jasper was pushing him back. It was the whoosh as the arrow cut through the air so quickly that put everything together. The knight's heart stopped as he turned back. Time seemed to slow as the arrow found a target. The boy fell so slowly, clutching his chest.

"No!" Galahad screamed, taking a knife from his belt and throwing it into the trees. It sunk into the spy that had perched himself there and he fell from his branch, dead, the emblem of Camelot sewn into his clothing. The arrow had been intended for Sir Galahad, the traitor.

"Jasper?" The knight dropped to the boy's side as soon as he saw the spy fall. Jasper gasped and sputtered, his face contorted in pain. "Magnus! We need help!" He called out for the man, hoping he was still close enough to hear. Tears blurred Galahad's vision but he saw the dark form of the Blackbird come rushing back towards him. The man he used to call his king had once told him that no man was worth his tears. Galahad couldn't believe that. Jasper was worth every single tear. He was too young.

"Jasper!" Magnus held the young man's head as he gasped for air. "You have to stay with us. Keep your eyes open. We're going to get you help and everything will be alright."

"No." Jasper spluttered. "There is nothing that can be done."

"You can't believe that." Galahad held the young man's hand as if that could keep him there with them.

"There's no need to be afraid." Jasper smiled as blood trickled from the side of his mouth.

"You can't leave us." Magnus pleaded. "We've already lost too many."

"I'm no afraid anymore." Jasper felt peace. "I'll be with my Aida."

"This is my fault." Galahad cried. "The arrow was meant for me."

"You saved me once." Jasper coughed. "You saved Joone and Arthur too. It is my turn to return the favor. My Aida is waiting for me."

"You can't go." Magnus began to cry.

Then Jasper began to convulse. Magnus and Galahad tried to hold him still or he would make his wound even worse. Jasper's eyes flickered and he felt a warm presence next to him.

"It's alright, Jasper." A gentle voice whispered in his ear as the world faded away from him. "You're safe now." He could recognize her voice anywhere even as he was slipping away. He would not be able to open his eyes again. This was the end of his journey and he accepted it. Everything must come to an end. This had always been a possible end to his story and he wouldn't give up this story for the world.

The warm presence was here to take him. It stroked the side of his face and whispered one last time.

"You can wake up now."

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**Hoping to get this story complete before Christmas so that I can start on The Old Mother which is connected in some ways with this one. So there is one more chapter left which is sort of like an epilogue which takes place years in the future when Arthur is king. Looking forward to that. And after that all that is left is the teaser for The Old Mother.**

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**Hope you keep following because the story is about to come to its end.**

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	37. Would you remember if I asked?

**Here is the last chapter of my very long story. If you have stayed with me this far I commend you. All that is left after this will be the teaser for my upcoming story The Old Mother.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline (which I will miss).**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Would you remember if I asked?

Arthur, now king, was coming back from a meeting to sign a treaty with princess Mithian's kingdom after the ordeal with Morgana. They passed through a town of which Arthur could not remember the name. It was quite empty and many of the buildings had been abandoned. He remembered his father telling him that this was a side effect of the purge. Many towns were completely destroyed by magic.

Something about this town seemed different though for some reason. A shiver ran up Arthur's spine as they passed by an empty space between two buildings where a house had obviously stood but all that was left now was an old pile of ash. The locals didn't dare go near it or build another house in its place. Arthur did ask one man about it and he said that it was believed to be a cursed place. The house had once belonged to those with magic and that Uther had had it burned. There were rumors that it hadn't been empty when they had set it on fire.

The air seemed to drop a few degrees. Arthur had heard many a story similar to this one, so why did this one bother him so much. He could almost imagine the house that had stood where the ashes now lay. It had been split into two so two families could live there. How had he known that?

Mixed in with the ashes were broken pieces of pots and it broke Arthur's heart to see them. Merlin had gone quiet as well. They both just stared not knowing why. It was as if they had been there before, but how? Arthur searched through his memories for any clue of this place.

Merlin reached down and stroked one of the broken pots. He gasped as images flashed through his mind. The memories were left here like residue. He heard violin music and there were smiles.

"Snow." He whispered.

"What was that?" Arthur asked behind him.

"Nothing, sire." Merlin stood, quickly taking his hand away from the pot. "We should move on."

Merlin and Arthur left shortly after as they needed to get back to Camelot where Gwen was waiting. They rode most of the way in silence. Their thoughts were cut off when a hooded woman holding a walking stick walked out into the road right in front of them. Arthur pulled on the reigns of his horse to stop before running into the woman. A younger man came running out after her, pulling her out of the way.

"I'm so sorry your majesty." The man apologized to Arthur, bowing slightly. He recognized the young king right away. "My friend here is blind so she did not see you coming."

"No need to apologize." Arthur said as he dismounted to see if the woman was all right. Merlin followed.

"I'm fine." She told them, her grey eyes staring blankly forward. "No need to fuss. I just sometimes forget that I can't see."

"You should have waited for me." Her friend said beside her.

"You have to stop worrying about me." She patted the side of the man's face. "You're always saving me Teddy."

"If you don't want me to worry then stop going off on your own." He fidgeted but smiled. "You nearly got run over by the king's own horse."

"The king?" Her blind eyes widened and she reached out her hands, handing her walking stick to her friend.

"I should have seen you coming." Arthur said as he took her hands. He inwardly winced as he saw the scars on her hands that must have been from some old burns. The woman didn't say anything as she dropped one of Arthur's hands and took the other one in both of hers. In silence she felt them and traced the lines with her finger.

"Arthur." She seemed to get a far off look in her eyes. "You've grown."

Arthur was confused at her gentle smile and the way she said his name. He could almost swear that there was a tear in her eye. The man, the one she had called Teddy, seemed nervous at the interaction.

"Teddy I can hear you fidgeting." She smirked. "There is no need to be nervous. It's only Arthur."

"I'm sorry miss, but have we met?" Her touch seemed strangely familiar. It was warm and comforting.

"Oh." Her eyes immediately became sad. "Back when I could see I…But you wouldn't remember. You were far too young. You've grown so much since then and I hear that you're the king now."

"Yes, I have been for a while now." Arthur didn't pull away from the woman who seemed to know him. Something in the back of his mind made him trust her. He'd even trust her with his life, but he couldn't remember her. Why?

"A good king too." Merlin added.

"Oh, there's someone else here." She looked in the general direction that Merlin's voice came from.

"I'm Merlin." He said. She suddenly reached out and grabbed his hand as if she could still see. After she had lost her sight her hearing had sharpened.

"Merlin." She smiled as she spoke his name. "You've grown into quite the young man. I can tell."

"You can tell just by the touch of our hands?" Arthur was intrigued.

"Back when I could see I used to read palms." She grinned. "I haven't lost that with my sight."

"Shhh," Teddy put his hand on her shoulder. "We shouldn't linger here. Magnus will be waiting."

"Oh, yes of course." She looked a little disappointed. "It was a shame he couldn't come. He would have liked to see the lake."

"What, did I not describe it well enough for you?" Teddy joked.

"Of course you did. He would have liked to see them though." Her voice was sad. "They set them afloat together. Holt said he thought Jasper and Aida would have liked it that way. I wish I could have been there."

"I'm sorry we didn't find them in time." Teddy put an arm around the woman's shoulders.

"Oh its not your fault." She assured him. "You saved my life. I should have saved theirs."

"You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened years ago. You protected them as well as you could."

"Not well enough." There was pain in her voice and sad memories. She let Merlin's hand drop from hers. "I'm sorry to have delayed your journey."

"We were moving slowly anyway." Arthur tried to reassure her. "I'm sorry to hear you lost some people close to you."

"Thank you." Teddy said. "We should really be on our way. Fionn's baby will be coming soon. Holt wanted us to be there."

"That's their third one." The woman laughed.

"But Olwen said that they think it will be a boy this time. Everyone is going to be there."

"Never doubt a mother's instincts." She smiled. "I guess we'd better get going or my husband will be out looking for us. He worries even more then you do. It was nice to meet you boys again."

"Maybe we will meet again." Arthur said hopefully. He didn't know why but he didn't want this woman to leave. The man with her somehow seemed familiar as well and he desperately wanted to know why. "Maybe you can tell us about the first time we met."

"Maybe." The woman said mysteriously reaching for Arthur's hand once more. "If destiny allows it."

She reached back for Teddy's hand and he led her down the road. Arthur watched them. He didn't even know the woman's name. His attention was drawn away as he felt something in his hand. He looked down to see a small crumpled piece of paper in his hand. The woman must have slipped it to him the last time she took his hand.

"What's that?" Merlin asked, looking over.

Arthur unwrapped the piece of paper and read the words scribbled onto it. The words were messy but he finally managed to make out what the note said.

_Thank you for keeping our secret._

_Joone._

Arthur gasped and tears came to his eyes. He immediately looked down the road but she was already gone. He had been four years old when he had first met her. The memories of that time were vague but he still remembered.

"_Is this what it is?" He had asked her._

"_What, what is?" They were in an attic and she had her arms around him._

"_What it is to have a mother." He explained. "I feel safe here and I feel happy. Is that what it's supposed to feel like?"_

"_Do you feel loved?" She had asked him. _

"_Yes."_

"Joone." Arthur remembered her.

"Joone?" Merlin took the note from his hand. "My mother told me stories about a Joone. She said that I had met her when I was very young but that she died in a fire. There was no body to bury."

"She didn't feel like a ghost." Arthur said, looking back down the road. "She saved me once."

Joone listened from behind a tree just off of the road. She waited until she heard the hooves of their horses as they road away. There were tears in her eyes. She wished more then anything that she could see their faces.

But I couldn't. I'd never see their faces again. I could still remember how they looked when I had first met them, but that had been so long ago. So much had happened since then. We had lost so much.

I lost my sight in that fire and I knew that I would never see again. I would never see any of their faces again. Part of me wanted to forget what we had gone through all those years ago but the other part of me cannot bear to let those memories go. I don't ever want to forget Aida or Jasper. I was supposed to protect them and I failed. I failed as their protector.

"I should have saved you." I whispered to myself and I felt Teddy place his hand on my shoulder. He had helped me find everyone again. I let him lead me away.

As I walk away from the lake where Jasper and Aida were buried I would always wonder the same thing.

Did the right ones live?

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!**

**So, what did you think. That is the longest story I have ever written and I hope my next ones will be a little shorter, for the sake of my readers. Thanks to everyone who followed, favorited, and especially reviewed.**

**Thank you MagicGirl41, readernurse, Unformal Sorelle, Iggyandwolf11, Ravyn Song, LightningBolt21, and all the anonymous reviewers. Sorry if I missed any of you. You guys gave me the push to keep going and finish this story. Thank you so much.**

**Fun fact: On a word document this story had 85695 words which doesn't include the author notes and took up 201 pages. Thanks for reading such a long story.  
**

**Hope you stick around for the teaser and read The Old Mother when it comes out.**

**Merry Christmas by the way.**

**See you next time.**


	38. The Trap

**And finally here is the last part to my four part teaser to my upcoming story The Old Mother.**

**Part 1: At the end of my story Mercy.**

**Part 2: At the end of my story Always**

**Part 3: At the end of my story Buried**

**Part 4: Right here**

**The other stories are much shorter then this one.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

The Trap

The old crone scuttled across the obsidian floor with her many spider's feet, running her claw across the obsidian walls. She was impatient, waiting for the scarred man to return with the final souls she had requested. You could even say she was excited if that was an emotion she was capable of. Though it was more of a psychotic smile that now crawled across her pale cracking skin.

"I have slept for too long." She mumbled to herself. "They thought they could trap me in slumber forever. They should have known that I would awake, thirsting for vengeance. I will take it. Oh, yes I will." The many firs she wore shook as she cackled. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot.

"They'll never see it coming." She went on. "Its perfect. I'll have their hearts before the week is out. They will feel my wrath and regret the day they ever dared tangle with me. Their souls will be mine! They were wrong to become so attached to such mortals. I will take what they care for and destroy it. Oh, what chaos!"

Her demonic laughter was cut off when a loud knock came at the metal door in the obsidian. "Enter." She ordered, hunching over a little more, hiding her face under the dragon's head that she wore.

The scarred man slipped into the room. His face was emotionless as usual. There was no excitement there. He merely stood as tall and still as stone, not remembering what it felt like to feel for something. All he knew now was that he must do what she told him.

"Well?" She waved her wrinkled hands, ushering him to get on with it.

"It is done," was all he said.

Her eyes seemed to darken. Vengeance was within her grasp. She could almost taste the end of her enemy's story. With her pointed teeth she would bite off the endings and drag them around in circles until she had devoured their entire tale. None could stop her now.

"The trap is set." She rubbed her hands together. "Everything is in place. They won't be able to resist trying to save the souls I have trapped. No matter what they do they will be wrapping themselves further into my web. Right when they think they have escaped my maze they'll meet a dead end and it will be over." She licked her cracked lips. "So many alternate worlds are hidden behind my doors. Behind one could be an entire world or a single room. They'll never know which one is theirs. Isn't that so?" She turned to the scarred man.

"Of course my lady." He nodded. He had learned not to mention the flaws to her plan. She would not see them.

"Draw their attention then." She ordered him in her crackly voice. "Lead them here."

"How would you like me to do it?" He asked.

"Capture one more soul." She decided. "One more soul should do it."

"Mortals usually cannot see beyond the vale." The scarred man pointed out.

"Sway them in this direction." She told him. "They should be able to hear the voices. Pull them across the border. They'll see the souls between my crooked trees. Everything past the border around my territory is dead. So much death that it is impossible to miss. They will see it. I'm sure."

"It will be done my lady." He bowed. "But what souls should I take?"

"You already have the last girl and boy I asked for. Those two sorcerers." She turned in a circle, thinking.

"Yes, and I locked them behind their door as you requested." He nodded. "Still not sure why you did not also want that other boy. The gypsy boy who once entered our territory with his friend."

"A piece of one of my trees is imbedded in him. His soul will be cursed and will affect events elsewhere." She explained. "He is not important here."

"Yes, of course." He agreed without complaint.

"One last soul." Her many feet padded across the stone floor. She stopped just in front of the far wall and she waved her hand across the dark surface. It rippled. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she searched. "A child." She muttered to herself. "Many souls linger around my border. Which one? Which one?"

Suddenly she froze. Her bony hand lashed out and sunk deep into the inky surface of the obsidian. "There!" She shrieked. "A brother and a sister. Take the younger. Take the boy." The young boy's face flashed across the wall's surface as the old crone's fingers left the surface. "The perfect bate. Bring them here."

She did not turn as the scarred man bowed and left her there alone to play out her plan and set the wheels in motion. Destiny would fall into her trap. Oh how fun this would be. All she had to do now was wait. She was good at waiting.

Indeed she would wait.

**Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!**

**Hope you stick around the read The Old Mother when it comes out. It will tie in a few of my stories together. I'm hoping to get the first chapter out sometime in the next couple days but one can never be too sure. **

**The only other thing I will say about The Old Mother is that the dead are returning. **

**Hope you consider reading the other stories and teasers before The Old Mother so it will make more sense, but don't if it is too much for you. I will try to make everything clear when I write The Old Mother.**

**See you all later and hope you all had a great Christmas.**


	39. Author Note

**A/N  
**

**I said that I would rewrite this story so that it was original and separate from Merlin. Well, I'm working on it and it is going very well.**

**For those interested I will be uploading the rewritten version on FictionPress. I have an account there under the same name.**

**I changed the name so it won't be called I Will Never Forget anymore. The new name is The Eyes of Magic.**

**I hope you'll find the time to check it out.**

**By the way, thanks to everyone who reviewed this story. You have been so inspiring.**


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